Sorry, Wong Answer

Happy new year!

2012-01-30T11:52:00.001+08:00

I'm really glad to see that the neighborhood piggy made it through Chinese new year. She was just a piglet this time last year and I thought she was just being fattened up.

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Remembering Clare

2012-01-08T14:09:00.001+08:00

I was in the middle of rewatching the season one finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I heard the news about Clare. I had been told via Facebook that her condition had deteriorated and there wasn't long to go, but somehow it was still a shock to hear that she'd passed away. Her battle with cancer had been long, brave, and inspiring, and if cancer could be beaten by will alone, Clare would have been well years ago. Despite doctors telling her early on that there wasn't that much that could be done, Clare did it all anyway.

I met Clare through Cassie when I was living in Edinburgh. And through Clare I met Olivia, and I grew to believe that the two of them led a charmed little life, in their tiny upstairs flat off the Royal Mile. We got to share some of the best that Edinburgh had to offer, and I will cherish those memories (even going to the parody of the Eurovision Song Contest). Clare always struck me as knowing exactly who she was, what she wanted to do, and who she wanted to spend her time with. She was fiercely individual but would do anything for her friends.

One thing that Facebook is both good and bad at is showing you your 'friendships'. My contact with Clare had been sporadic over the last few years, and I realised I didn't have a photo of the two of us together. I go through phases where I don't take many photos or write many blog/journal posts, and times like this make me really regret it. I know that there was no lack of love, though.

After talking things through with David for a while after he told me the news, I cried. It's such an odd feeling of loss, to know that someone who was already most of the way around the world from me is not even there any more. I say goodbye to so many of my friends, not knowing when I will see them again, but always thinking that there will be a next time. Sometimes there isn't.

I haven't been able to watch the rest of that Buffy episode. In the finale, she accepts her own death, and embraces it for the sake of her loved ones and the world in general. Clare was that brave. She won't come back to save the world like Buffy did, but she did change a lot of lives in her short time here.

I'll miss you so much, Clare, but you will continue to inspire me for a long time to come. I hope that you are sitting in the sun in the big Spiegel Garden in the sky. x

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Review of Fire by Kristin Cashore

2011-06-09T11:52:00.001+08:00

Because I haven't really blogged much lately (like, at all), here is my overly-long review of Kristin Cashore's Fire. Clearly, I wasn't impressed. Fire by Kristin Cashore
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I started reading this book on the heels of Graceling, which I quite enjoyed (although it definitely had its drawbacks). I was utterly disappointed, and at several points in the book I wondered if I would actually be able to make it through the whole thing. Last night I managed to power through about half of the novel, mostly so I could put it behind me and start on something enjoyable (I know, I know, I just should have let it go).

I didn't mind the general story arc, even though it does drag on a bit. I liked finding out where Leck had come from and that this other land existed across the mountains from the Seven Kingdoms. I didn't mind the characters - even the unlikeable ones are fairly well-written and believable. Some people have said that Fire's relationship with Brigan happened too quickly, but it happened over months, during pre-wartime, so that's fine with me too. What really got to me was the less-than-obvious feminist 'undertones' (or obvious themes) that weren't really discussed but just taken for granted. This is a medieval setting so I'm not shocked and appalled that girls are having sex at 15 (though since this is YA, I don't know that this is appropriate), but the way that no-strings relationships, abortion, and illegitimate children are just assumed, and not addressed, bugs me. Spoilers about abortion and self-sterilisation follow. Mila, when she is already too-far-pregnant, says that she would definitely have taken the abortion drugs if she knew they existed (and she doesn't take this back or address it once her child is born). Fire, with only a short lead up and barely addressing it, decides to make herself sterile, thus ending her race completely. The introduction and the reveal were so sudden and indirect that I had a "Wait, what?!" moment and had to go back and read it again. It was covered in a few short sentences:
"In the middle of December planning, Fire made a choice. She hoped she chose right."
"‘No,’ she said. ‘Don’t fret, it was a small thing. I’m recovered.’ Which was a lie, for her body was sore still and her heart raw as Hanna’s knees. But it was what she hoped would be the truth, eventually."
"And then, because he was holding her hands, she told him all of it, quite simply: how desperately she wanted children, and why she’d decided she mustn’t have them, and how out of fear of changing her mind, she’d arranged quietly, with Clara and Musa’s help, to take the medicines that would make it forever impossible. And she hadn’t recovered, not nearly, for her heart was small and shivering, and it seemed that she couldn’t stop crying."
And then they just go on to say that she must be around babies in the future because she loves them so much! Nothing about how there will never be another monster human, and she decided, alone and as a teenager, that all future monster humans' natures would be too awful to be permitted to live, even though she seems to be turning out different from her father. Nothing's really mentioned about this again. There's also that I really didn't need to hear about Fire's 'monthly bleedings', especially because the blood attracts other monsters so she has to hide inside! I don't think this was really that necessary to the story, and I can't imagine how much more work it would have been for Cashore to work the travel, action, and sex around times when Fire wasn't bleeding.

The other major thing that bothered me was some of the writing and naming of things. I know this is supposed to be for YA readers (although that's questionable), and the protagonist is a teenager, but when Fire starts thinking about a bookshelf's bookshelfness, I nearly put the book down forever. I also really didn't like the term monster for the mind-addling versions of regular animals. I didn't mind the concept, but the word bugged me from the very beginning. She had such a great word in Graceling, why couldn't she have come up with something better than monster lady. I also didn't like Fire's name, which didn't seem to fit with the world. Nobody else was given a noun as a name, except for Archer, and his was a nickname. Then there's Lord Mydogg. I couldn't read this without thinking, "What's up, my dog?" every single time. It was quite distracting. Another small aside was that I found it weird that she named the months of the year the same names we do. Why would they have July and August, etc?

All in all, this book did not make me want to read the next one in the series, which is a pity. I think that the world she created was generally well fleshed out (although I can't imagine how there were raptor monsters, rats, lions, etc in Fire's world and not in Katsa's). I won't be rushing to read the next Cashore book.

View all my reviews

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Lest we forget

2011-04-25T11:05:00.001+08:00

For the first time since I've been here, there was an early morning Anzac Day service in Shanghai. The last couple of years have been on weekends, so lucky lazy expats have been able to sleep in a little. This beautiful Monday morning had Kiwis and Aussies gathering at the Australian Consul General's house from around 5:30 (I know, I was there). The service was lovely, with the stand out speech being from Turkish Consul General Deniz Eke. There was a dramatic moment right at the end of the Last Post, when a boy just in front of me fainted on the lawn. His parents took care of him while the rest of us stood mutely for the minute of silence. He seemed to recover pretty well, though. The only incongruous part for me was a jazzed-up recording of the NZ national anthem with the overly-dramatic singer from last year. Admittedly, we Kiwis need a bit of help from a lead singer, but hopefully next year they'll get a vocalist to go along with the instrumentals for both anthems. The follow-up breakfast care of Wagas, Baker and Spice, and Nick's Meats was exactly what was needed. After a chat with friends and a promise to be at the barbecue at Kakadu tonight, I took an extra coffee and a mini lamington for the road.

I'll finish with the words of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, which make me have to blink back tears every time I hear them. They remind me of Çanakkale, being in Turkey for their celebration of victory (and our defeat), and of how proud I am to be a New Zealander, wherever I am in the world.

"Heroes who shed their blood and lost their lives! You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and Mehmets to us where they lie side by side here in this country of ours. You, the mothers, who sent their sons from far away countries wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well."

Lest we forget.

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Earthquake in Christchurch today #eqnz

2011-02-22T09:28:00.001+08:00

Again, Facebook and Twitter are providing me with current news. Here's the situation so far. Earthquake just over an hour ago, 6.3 centred about 10km south of Christchurch. Multiple fatalities so far, including two buses crushed by falling buildings. Cathedral is damaged. If you're trying to contact people in Christchurch, text message is the best way (Aussies can call 1300 555 135 for info). Phone lines are pretty congested right now, 80% of the city has no power.

Crossing my fingers and thinking about you, Christchurch.

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Another new year, another set of things I won’t manage?

2011-01-06T15:31:00.001+08:00

So, it’s that time of year again. Reflection, celebration, promises to self. The blog/s have fallen by the wayside again, and I don’t know exactly what to do with them at this point (combine, change focus, keep going the way I am?). I’m barely keeping up with my paid blogs, and with work, study, and the rest of my life, I’m struggling a bit.

This is not to say that I don’t have ‘free’ time. I have been spending a lot of time reading other blogs, reading books, watching TV, and crocheting. This is time that I should be redirecting towards writing and studying. The hard thing is that most of the former activities I can do while sitting on the sofa with my lovely boyfriend. It’s not that our relationship needs work; I just like to spend most of my non-work, non-sleep hours with him. It’s a bit hard to do that at the same time as something that takes a bit more concentration.

Anyway, here is a list of things that have kept me busy in 2010, and hopefully I will be able to elaborate a bit more on them in 2011.

Work - the office moved out towards the airport, so now my commute time is about 2 hours every day, rather than half an hour. Other than that, it’s going ok.
Home - said lovely boyfriend moved here from the UK, and we moved into the apartment of a departing friend (who we miss, but we also love the apartment). Now living in the French Concession in Shanghai, which is a bit quieter than my previous neighbourhood.
Travel - I went to Hong Kong twice (once for Chinese New Year and once on a visa run), as well as visiting Europe for the first time in a while (Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria, Italy). I miss Hungarian food!
Friends - as usual, people come and go, but I have a lovely group of friends that make it very easy to live here.
Study - I had a few months’ break from Chinese study because of the office move, but I have restarted twice weekly one-on-one lessons, which I need to put more follow-up/preparation work into. I can have basic conversations and get things done, and my reading is improving in leaps and bounds, but still. I need to do better.

Things that are taking up my time and therefore I recommend:

Books - because of recommendations from a friend, I have been reading a lot (a lot) of young adult fiction lately, interspersed with a few more adult books. Currently reading Love in the Time of Cholera, a YA dystopian trilogy by Lois Lowry, and re-reading Catching Fire (from the Hunger Games trilogy).
Online - blogs currently sucking up a lot of my time are: Nedroid, Hyperbole and a Half, Mark Reads (currently reading the Hunger Games trilogy, hence my going back to Catching Fire), Must Have Cute, Reasoning with Vampires (yes, I hated Twilight, and I don’t know why I am torturing myself with seeing exactly how bad the writing is, sentence by sentence), My Milk Toof, Not Always Right, and some Shanghai blogs (A Totally Impractical Guide to Living in Shanghai, I Love China, From Dumplings to Donuts). I’ve recently started reading MWF Seeking BFF, too, and I think it deserves its own post later. I have also actually been using Twitter, and I do quite enjoy following Luke Ryan, Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, Oatmeal, Lynne Murphy (linguistic goodness), New Scientist, Dr Karl, and Simon Pegg. Other stuff is OK, too.
TV - last year I watched Outrageous Fortune, Battlestar Galactica, West Wing, Castle, Chuck, Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Hell’s Kitchen, The Amazing Race, Futurama, No Ordinary Family, Lie to Me, and probably a bunch of other stuff. I also embarrassingly got a bit addicted to Vampire Diaries. This year I plan to go a bit Joss and watch season 2 of Dollhouse (not sure how good it will be), and also watch season 2 of Buffy (and possibly the other seasons after that. I just need an Oz fix).
Craftiness - I started crocheting again when the cold began to set in, and I am enjoying it a lot as usual. I bought a few books, and one of my friends started up a weekly Stitch ‘n’ Bitch sort of group. It’s in a tiny little wool shop, and I’m really enjoying getting together with a few ladies (and gentleman) over some wool, wine, and snacks. Happily, boyfriend is enthusiastic about this skill, and even wears the stuff I have made him. I’ve made a blanket, a cowl, socks, gloves, and a bunch of unfinished little things. I also learned how to make tiny hats using wool and cardboard tubes. Sweet.

Wow, this was linky. I’m looking forward to doing posts about specific things, rather than splashing links and random comments everywhere when people probably won’t click them.

I also respond well to external motivation, so somebody please tell me it’s worth writing. Thanks.

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Weekend in Qingdao

2010-08-23T12:44:00.001+08:00

My weekend: 3 hour delay on flight to Qingdao, 20RMB all you can drink beer at rooftop bar at hostel, breakfast (with bbq eggs/omelette/sausages) included, beer museum/factory, no available cabs anywhere, forgot to charge my camera batteries, afternoon drinking at the beer festival, meat on a stick, Dairy Queen, running into the Shanghai rugby team at a German bar, missing the ABs game because it was too late (Australia network screened it an hour late, and cut off the anthems and haka, jerks), more bbq breakfast, pretty awesome old Governor's residence, not being able to find my friends (two cabs required), thunderstorm, 9 hours at airport, 1st class lounge, 5 hour delay, home by 04:30. Some of these things were super fun, some were really not.

This was going to be a status update (but turns out it's way too long), so sorry for the rushed narrative.

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Finally, vindication!

2010-08-11T19:12:00.001+08:00

Anybody who has ever had to live with me or make an appointment with me early in the morning knows that I am not a morning person. No matter how much it would improve my standard of life, I just can't go to bed early, even if I have to get up a few hours later. I have real trouble going to sleep before midnight, and even when I have to get up at 8am (or before), I'm usually falling asleep between 1am and 2am. When left to my own devices, I stay up until the sun rises, and then feel guilty and go to sleep (usually until sometime in the early, or late, afternoon).

I came across a link to a study today that shows that being an early bird is not necessarily better at all. The study showed that while attention levels were about the same for early birds and night owls 1.5 hours after waking up, night owls performed quite a lot better than their early rising counterparts 10.5 hours after waking. This only confirms what I suspected, though. My boss is an early riser, and he's quite often quite useless when it comes to about 5pm. I'm still wide awake until not long before I go to bed. (Though it does say that early birds feel more rested more easily, which also correlates with my experience.)

There was no real difference between the early birds and the night owls in their performance on the morning test. But the evening test was a different story: night owls were less sleepy and had faster reaction times than early birds. (Just to emphasize, 'evening' was a relative term: it was a different actual time for each group, but the exact same 10.5-hours-after-waking for both early birds and night owls.) So even though both groups were sleeping and waking according to their preferred schedule, night owls generally outlasted early birds in how long they could stay awake and mentally alert before becoming mentally fatigued.

So, early birds on high horses, you can climb on down now.

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Anniversaries of sorts

2010-08-10T10:04:00.001+08:00

For whatever reason, I realised that today is the 5th anniversary of one of the incarnations of one of my blogs. When I started using Blogger, I was working for a hospital back home in Auckland, and there really wasn't a hell of a lot to do (besides start a new blog and sign up for Facebook - hey, that means I've been on Facebook for five years too). I was also waitressing part time (I actually really enjoyed that job, and the people), and in the middle of the first winter I'd had at home since I left New Zealand in 2000. Going back even further, I started blogging in July 2002, using Diaryland, a service which I am surprised to find still has my old blog online. Oddly, when I started that one, I was also doing a full time admin job (in Edinburgh) and working part time hospitality (in a sketchy sketchy nightclub in Leith). Looking back on the first couple of posts makes me smile because I was only 21 and all excited about life in Scotland (which I continue to be every time I visit).

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, except that maybe I'm feeling a little nostalgic these days. I'm coming up to two years in Shanghai, 10 years on the road (with breaks), my 30th birthday, and some significant upcoming changes in my life, so I guess it's not surprising. Seems a bit crazy to think that I've been a citizen of the world for so long, but I like to think I've fit a reasonable amount of good times into the last 10 years of my life (even a little bit of stability!). It's been really nice reflecting on the people and the places I've been around at different stages of my life, and kinda wonderful to realise that a lot of them are still very close friends of mine, even though all of our lives have changed pretty significantly since.

Thanks, friends. I love you!

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Picasa facial recognition is freaking me out

2010-08-09T14:30:00.001+08:00

I decided to play around with the 'People' feature on Picasa (Google's photo management software), and it's been eerily accurate (besides a couple of mistaken suggestions where it thought that my (male) friend was me, but since I've tagged him, there have been no further confusions). All you have to do is name a person once and it will happily go through and find a major proportion of the pictures they are in. The more often you confirm something the program is unsure about, the more accurate it gets. I even tried tagging a picture of a friend where she is making this crazy expression, and just based on that the program has pulled out over 50 pictures of her, in all sorts of poses, good and bad lighting, weird expressions or not. The only one it got wrong was actually her sister.

I'm both impressed and a little scared by the technology. Not that I have a problem with it going through and finding all my friends, but I'd prefer to keep it local (that is, on my computer). The default setting for the People feature is to synch with your address book, adding email addresses etc. And you can't even delete an email address once it has been added (I chose to just change them to fake ones after I discovered this). I love Google, but I don't want to give them detailed information about what all my friends look like. Scary thing is, there's no way to prevent anyone else from doing this. I can just imagine that sometime in the future (or even now) they'll be able to scan security footage or Google Earth images and be like 'Yes, we're 99.99998% sure that that's joeblogs@gmail.com. We know exactly how many times a week he goes to the supermarket/hairdresser/bookie/adult shop.'

Note: I am taking some inspiration from the National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo - and I hope never ever to say that out loud) people who are posting one post a day for a month, except that I now have four blogs, so will try to post one post a day over those four. This one is gonna end up being the one with the random leftover stuff (not about life in China or about language), so apologies in advance.

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New year short shorts

2010-03-03T17:07:00.001+08:00

I had a great trip to Hong Kong, despite the unseasonal cold and rain down there. I wanted to upload some pictures and videos and whatnot, but the internet situation continues to put those things in the 'too difficult' pile.

Luckily, Jessica has posted some. Enjoy some footage of the special gymnastics team of the Paris fire brigade. They must have been cold and wondering why they were performing for a handful of random Chinese people in the deep dark New Territories.

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Credit, I guess

2010-02-20T20:37:00.001+08:00

I was at the airport on the way back from Hong Kong the other day when I stumbled across this book, which has one of my pictures on the cover. I flicked through to see if any of my other pictures had been used, and another one of them had. I guess I'm a published photographer now.

I've got a bit of an issue with this book, though. Even though I got a credit at the end of the book, and I knew that it was just going to be a submission to a Facebook group book that I would never see any royalties from, I never actually got any kind of notification or thanks from the author for it. I wrote her a kind of passive-aggressive email about it when I saw my picture on the cover of the pre-release, and she wrote back to say that the cover wasn't finalised (the print version is the same as the pre-release image), and that everyone would get an email after everything was confirmed. No such email. Guess it just fell by the wayside.

I think the FB friend request from her may have been a mistake, like one of those scan your email account for familiar addresses and add them kind of thing, but maybe ignoring it was the wrong thing to do.

Oh well. It's still sort of cool, I suppose.

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W(eather)TF.

2010-02-11T19:07:00.001+08:00

OK, so I haven't posted since I got back from my holiday last year. It's been cold and busy in Shanghai, and lots of exciting/crazy/delicious things have happened in the last few months. I have been having a bumper blogging day today (although this is the only personal thing I've posted), but this will be short. I'm due in a meeting right now.

I just wanted to say, what the hell, Google Weather? I don't even know what this icon means! It's a whole new different kind of yucky weather. Also, I'm going to Hong Kong for Chinese New Year tomorrow, and while it's a balmy, sunny 26 degrees today, tomorrow will plummet down to 12. Joy. Oh well, at least it will be warmer than here.

恭喜发财! 新年快乐! Happy year of the tiger. Whee.

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Some numbers...

2009-10-15T11:30:00.001+08:00

So I'm back in the office in Shanghai, and the sun is shining in a blue sky, which is a pretty rare event. I'd love to be outside since it's a reasonable temperature these days, but here I am getting settled back into the job, with a new boss and a new direction. I'm actually hopeful, though, which is great. I'm about to move into an actual office (no more open plan working for me!) and apparently the new boss can get me a deal on a goosedown underlay for the winter. It'll be like sleeping in a cloud.

I had a wonderful holiday back in the southern hemisphere, and caught up with a lot of people, all of whom it was fantastic to see. Of course I wish I'd had more time, but hey. Once you see how many people I had to see, you'll see why the schedule was so tight. I promise more catch ups when I retire.

So, here is a summary of my holiday in numbers:

20 days
10 flights (1 cancelled)
3 countries
6 towns/cities (1 was just a layover)
4 journeys to Hong Kong International Airport; 3 to Melbourne; 3 to Sydney
6 time zones (if you include changing times for daylight savings twice)
11 - 30 degrees Celsius (approx)
19 family members
69 friends and friends-of-friends (and the new people were all lovely!)
2 runnings into on the street
20.2kg in my backpack on the way home (including 2L of 42 Below)
12.5kg of extra belongings in a box put in the post
1 upgrade to business class (first time in nearly 9 years of travelling!), but only for 2 hours
Countless hugs and kisses, and not enough time, or flat whites.

Thanks to everyone who made the effort to see me (including the ones who wanted to, but couldn't), especially those who let me stay at their places, helped me organise things, and gave me directions. Miss you all already.

[Image: Blue sky over Bondi, Bondi Beach, Sydney]

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The truth about spam: "Fw: FUNNY" is not as funny as you think

2009-09-09T16:45:00.001+08:00

Getting nonsensical, unentertaining, "inspirational" or otherwise worthless emails forwarded to me, often by virtual (ha) strangers or long-ago workmates, is one of my pet peeves. The obvious reason is that I don't find them interesting or worthwhile, I have better ways to use my time, and I don't care. The less obvious reason is that I am fairly protective of my own privacy, and I don't want my email address handed over to complete strangers, especially the kind of strangers who will further propagate the sort of emails that I hate, or worse, not be actual people. Why don't you just give them my phone number, address, and bank account details while you're at it? Come to think of it, I received a 'warning' email today which included, not just a whole mess of email addresses, but all sorts of personal contact information contained in footers. Be careful, people!

Before I launch into full rant mode, I'd like to pass the mic over to my completely wonderful, yet easy irritated, friend Dave, who wrote what he intended to be a passive-aggressive response to receiving an illogical but apparently compulsive forwarded email, and actually produced a well-written, educational missive about one of the dangers of the internet. Like I said to him, if it were more succinct, I might be tempted to put it on a t-shirt.

I have removed the names and email addresses, because I am a considerate person. If people really feel the need, the absolute, unavoidable compulsion to send me random crap (and I'm not talking about things you know I'll actually appreciate), for the love of God, learn how to use the bcc: option. Please.

Anyway, please read the following message, and feel free to pass it on to your favourite quasi-spammers. Perhaps encourage them to read the whole thing by saying that something hilarious will happen when they scroll right to the end.

Hi there [name removed to protect baby seals] et al.,
Just so you're aware, it's physically impossible for anything 'funny' to happen if you forward a message to a certain number of people. All that will happen is that people will forward it hoping that something will happen. Which, as I'm sure you now know from forwarding this message, it never will. It just results in a whole bunch of spam being thrown around the internet.
But what's more, all the email addresses that people are forwarding to will be harvested by spam bots, giving spammers a whole bunch more addresses to send their "make your penis bigger!", "FREE viagra!" and "find hot prostitutes near you" emails. Thus these will start flooding your inbox, along with the emails with malware and worm attachments that can really fuck your stuff up.
It's actually quite a clever spam technique - promising the uninitiated users that something 'hilarious' will happen if they forward it to enough people. If you look below at the forwarded message, you'll see all those blue underlined links, all those email addresses to whom "[name removed even though he was one of the forwarders at fault]" sent it out to... well, as soon as this email is returned to a spammer, they can just copy all those addresses onto their database and know that these addresses have real people on the end of them, and so add them to their list of people to send out all their spam. They can also sell the list of email addresses to other spammers. This is actually how most spam email actually gets their millions of target users.
Emails are just strings of letters and numbers being sent through electronic communication channels... there's no physical way that forwarding, replying, or doing anything to the messages will result in any 'cool' thing happening.
So, as a general rule of thumb - only ever forward emails if you actually want or need to forward them. For example, if it's information that you want somebody else to see - that is to say, the intended use of the forwarding feature.
I am sorry if this sounds passive aggressive or preachy, but... well... it's a bit annoying, see. Because now if any of the other 6 people to whom you also forwarded this message (that is, [names removed because it wasn't their fault]) then forward it on to a bunch of other people, it'll be my email address added to the spam list. And then, if any of those people then forward it on to another bunch of people, my address will be propagated again and again and again, etc., etc., ad nauseam. In effect, by forwarding these kinds of emails to your friends, you are actively increasing the amount of spam they get.
So. If you ever get an email and are encouraged to forward it to a certain amount of people - whether it promises something cool, or promises that it will save the life of an African child with every person you forward it to, or promises that it will increase the chance of finding your one true love... the best thing to do is delete it, or just move it to your spam folder. Because that's what it is. Spam. Nothing else. You could always forward it to a bunch of people who you don't really like, and laugh at the fact that they're going to get a lot more spam, but again, your email address is still going to be propagated on that list just by engaging in any kind of forwarding activity.
Sadly, because the vast majority of people are completely unaware of the underhand tactics that spammers use to build up these lists of verified, active email addresses, spam now accounts for over 90% of all email traffic online. Check out this section of the Wikipedia article on spam, if you like (with cited sources): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-mail_spam#As_a_percentage_of_the_total_volume_of_e-mail
All the best, and hope you're well.
Dave [name retained to acknowledge the awesome]

2009/9/7 [name removed to reduce global warming]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: [name removed to save the whales]
Date: Mon, Sep 7, 2009 at 4:49 PM
Subject: Fw: FUNNY
To: [names removed for the sake of my conscience]

----- Original Message -----
From: [name removed to protect the innocent]

To: [name removed for an ideal future]

Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 10:04 AM

Subject: Fw: FUNNY

----- Original Message -----
From: [name removed for the sake of the children]

To: [names removed for world peace]

Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2009 10:55 AM

Subject: FW: FUNNY

I don’t normally forward these but will give this a try.

Forward this to at least 7 people and see what happens on your screen . you will laugh your head off!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the coolest thing I have ever received. All you have to do is send it to 7 people and watch your screen, it is the funniest clip. I can't tell you what it is but I was laughing so hard I almost fell off my chair!!! So, send it to those 7 people and watch.
If you forward it to 7 people a video comes on your screen..
This works. I don't know how...but it works.

[It does not work. No matter how much you want something hilarious to happen to these bouncing bikini-ed beach bunnies.]

Original post sent via email to Wendebulous

Get your wallet out - it's for a good cause

2009-09-03T14:58:00.001+08:00

So, I take a while to clean out my inbox sometimes. If I don't act on something straight away, it tends to get buried until I manage to shuffle through everything in sporadic bursts of what seems like productivity.

I received an email a while ago from my friend Bjorn asking for sponsorship for a 2.8km cross-harbour swim, in support of Surf Lifesaving NZ. It's for a great cause, especially in a place like NZ (and, similarly, Australia), where the beaches are unpopulated, beautiful, and sometimes dangerous.

From his sponsorship page:

Ive signed up as a charity swimmer to raise money to support Surf Life Saving New Zealand. By donating through my web page you are helping to save lives with Surf Life Saving. THE EVENT IS ON THE 21st NOVEMBER 2009
I'll do all the hard work (train for and complete the 2.8km Auckland Harbour Swim as part of the Sovereign New Zealand Ocean Swim Series) but I really need your help to make a difference so that everyone can enjoy New Zealands favorite playground safely.
So, please sponsor me?
Select the "Make a donation" button below. It's simple, fast and totally secure and the money goes directly to Surf Life Saving New Zealands bank account.
If you live in New Zealand your donation is tax deductible and a receipt will be issued.
So please help me today! And pass it on to everyone you know!
I spent a few years in my youth patrolling the beach, but my experience being stuck in the bush fires in Melbourne reminded me what a fantastic job all the volunteers in SLS do.

Good luck with the training, Bjorn! Click here to donate, especially if you were in the bush fires or have ever needed help on the beach. Do it.

Also, I posted this on my Facebook page the other day, but you still have one more day to donate to Becks's head getting shaved in support of the Leukaemia & Blood Foundation. She has to deal with the discomfort of a cold, bald, head, so donating is the least you can do. :)

This isn't intended to be a guilt trip or blatant advertising. If I can encourage one person to donate something to any good cause, then it's worth the few minutes I took to do this. If you have no ties to these organisations, there are countless others out there. Donate some money, time, clothing, expertise, or blood to an (appropriate) aid, research, or charity organisation soon. You won't regret it.

Original post sent via email to Wendebulous

Good Books and good deeds

2009-08-12T11:04:00.000+08:00

I've always been consistent in not giving money to beggars, but I'll usually donate to buskers (homeless or not) who impress me, I often donate to established charity campaigns, and I try to donate blood when and where I can (which reminds me, I should really visit the blood bank again soon).

Sometimes I question my choices when it comes to giving back, and I know I don't do enough for the world on a daily basis. Knowing that I have taken more international flights than a great many people gives me carbon guilt. The fact that I've gotten used to the comfort of air-conditioning in hot countries does the same.

So when I was reading the Oxfam newsletter that arrived in my inbox today, I was happy to be reminded of the fantastic service that Good Books provides. They have over 2 million titles (books, audiobooks, and music) at reasonable prices, ship internationally for free, and all profits go directly to Oxfam. They promise no mark ups, and ship from both the UK and the US. It may sound too good to be true, but through their volunteer work and generous sponsorship, you can donate to a good cause (or many good causes) by doing something you probably do once in a while anyway.

If you're reading this post, I propose two things:

1) Suggest a book or CD (or more than one!) for me. I have been starved of new music and haven't been reading enough lately, and I have decided to buy at least a few titles from Good Books. If your recommendation is persuasive enough, I'll go with it! If I get them all shipped together, it will slightly make up for the environmental cost of shipping, right?

2) Order something yourself, or as a gift for someone else. If you were going to buy books or CDs online anyway, consider checking out this service before you use your usual one. The NZ dollar is still down, so it might work out to be a similar price, and you'll get that warm fuzzy feeling for free (not to mention the delight of no added shipping costs).

Looking forward to getting some suggestions!

I feel all special...

2009-08-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

Lovely Cassie wrote a blog post (at least partially) about me on her super-fantastic blog, A Normal Day. It makes me feel all special. Plus, she likes my iccint. Gold stars for Cassie!

Cassie and I lead the kind of lives where it's possible for us to run into each other (and Carla!) on a glacier. We can't forget that these lives are awesome.

x

Things I'd never say out loud, but that I've already told strangers on the Internet

2009-08-05T11:50:00.001+08:00

For the first time in ages, I can read the Facebook feeds on my RSS reader - that is, people's status updates, notes, and posted items.

Status updates I've been keeping up-to-date with somewhat through other means, and posted items seem to be a lot of YouTube videos which I can't watch, sadly. Some of them actually look interesting.

I thought that the notes thing would be more fruitful. I regretted not being able to post comments directly (I suppose if something really caught my eye, I could look up the note on my phone and make a comment that way, but, honestly, that's a lot of bother), but then I took a look at the actual contents of the feed. On first glance, the vast majority of the notes posted seem to have been of the 'random stuff nobody knew or ever ever ever needed to know about me' variety. On second glance, I realised that a few of those contained 'random crap generated by the internet that is only incidentally related to the author' instead. My mistake.

Sure, it's easy to do one or two of these things, and they usually only take a few minutes (I've done a couple myself, but let's pretend that that was for research purposes), but when I have everybody's all corralled together, crowding out poor little blog posts and stray creative thoughts, they become a bit overwhelming.

I know it's not my place to make comment on the state of the Internet, and God knows I should do more productive things with my own time, but I just wanted to say thanks to the people who are actually generating somewhat original content of their own accord.

But ignore me. I'm just becoming an Internet grinch because of communism.

In cheerier news, dogs are as smart as toddlers when it comes to taking a hint.

Bumper link round-up

2009-07-13T19:25:00.002+08:00

Zubbles!

For those not in the know, China blocked Facebook last Tuesday, and even though I've got some workarounds (I'm still deciding whether or not to keep the paid VPN service, because my internet connection tends to be so bad anyway that it just slows an already slow process down), keeping up-to-date with people (or, stalking them) is much more difficult these days.

The other thing that's hard is posting interesting links that I find. Getting access to sites I haven't seen in a couple of months also means that I have more links to share. It's so bad that I have even briefly considered opening a Twitter account, but hopefully it won't come to that. I may not be able to live with myself (sorry, Tweeters, or Twits, or Twitterers, or Twatters, or whatever the cool kids are calling themselves). Yes, Facebook being blocked is a significant event for me, and I can still find it in me to hate on Twitter. I do share things on Google Reader, but it's not easy to see my witty comments when they are imported to Facebook, so that takes half the fun out of it.

Anyway, here are some fun things I've stumbled across recently. Some of them have already been shared via Reader, but oh wells.

From Everybody Loves Free Stuff:
Zubbles! They're coloured bubbles, with a name that's fun to say!
Magic salad plate - never have real vegetables touch precious meat products again.
Some gross but also cool anti-acne medication promotional samples.

Some wacky stuff from the Irish Times, including the fact that a Chinese girl who was named 'Chicken Shit' by her parents is finally old enough to do something about it.

11 Photos Where Black People Were Awkwardly Photoshopped In or Out (thanks for the link, Dave).

Even though the riots in Xinjiang were terrible, and apparently caused by an inadvertent scream, it's nice to know that the Chinese armed forces are still kicking it old school by using crossbows. That's right. Crossbows.

Possibly the biggest bunny in the world, who should probably just join that morbidly obese family who were asking the British government for more money because they are too fat. Actually, he's too cute for them.

Possibly the worst piece of 'writing' I've seen in a while.

It's official: Asians are the best at racism. Yay us!

And finally, some cute. Care of Disgrasian as well, Asian babies vs animals, and links from Eve: poor Chinese kitten who needs a home, and My Milk Toof, which has to be one of the very cutest blogs I've ever seen.

Enjoy!

It may just be temporary...

2009-06-12T11:49:00.001+08:00

...but I can read blogs again! Whee. I have so many to catch up on, though.

Of course I can't actually visit the sites yet, but it seems that my feeds are working again. Right now, anyway.

Come on, China, just go that little bit further and let me see some pictures. That would be super duper.

In less dorky-slash-controversial news, I had a great visit to Chengdu to see some friends and some pandas (who I like to consider friends), my mum and her sister came to visit Shanghai, and I've just been generally stupid busy with work, socialising, and other random commitments. All the visits have been wonderful, but slightly exhausting in that they have all been in the same few weeks. My friend Alex is in town this weekend, and as soon as I've said goodbye after having a super fantastic time with him, I'm going to hibernate in my apartment for a couple of days. I need sleep.

The internet is broken

2009-06-04T11:59:00.002+08:00

I just had to type out a blog post on my phone because we still have no internet access in my office. Conspiracy theories abound. Then I got even more paranoid about posting something that had so many no-no words in it. So I put it on my other blog. If you want to read it, hopefully you know where to go.

I'm so iMbarrassed*.

2009-05-19T16:11:00.002+08:00

The links didn't work in my last entry, which is an awful virtual faux pas, especially as I specifically mentioned the links. So, here they are, even though you don't really need them.

This blog, which you may or may not be reading.
Another blog, which is written with Wordpress. [This link didn't work until Dave corrected me. Thanks, Dave.]
Some information on what happened at Tiananmen Square nearly 20 years ago.

*Have you noticed that everything's called iSomething these days? i'M not iMagining iT, am i? My iSP at home is called ihug, but it has been for years. I hug. Do you?

Censorwhatty?

2009-05-19T15:54:00.001+08:00

This is by no means an explanation for my negligence of blogging duties, but I can't access Blogger right now. In order to even publish this, I had to use a proxy site to enable instant posting of emails to this blog (yes, I just linked to myself). [EDIT: Apparently that failed as well, so I'm using the proxy site to post this. If there end up being three copies, that's why.]

I've had issues with accessing Wordpress blogs for a while now (thankfully I can usually see the one I actually post to, and yes, I just linked to myself again), and can only read them via an RSS reader. Now the same thing is happening with Blogger sites, and I can't view pictures (which is especially unhelpful for ... most of the blogs I keep up with). I gave up on seeing embedded videos ages ago.

YouTube has been unavailable in China for weeks now, and there's no sign of that changing any time soon.

It's a little less than two weeks until the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre* (or 'Protest', if you prefer). Coincidence?

Meantime, I'm going to see pandas in Sichuan province next week (a little over a year after the earthquake hit there), and the week after, my mum is coming to visit. Yay! The weather is in the high 20s, and looking to get warmer. Thankfully M&S is here to supply clothes that fit me. And Jaffa Cakes.

Random cute craft picture. Thanks, Dave. I would like to make this.

*I picked a BBC link that I can't see, so my apologies if it's not the best.

E-pology.com: could it work?

2009-04-30T02:26:00.000+08:00

It's after 2am on a school night, and apparently there's a horn-honking insomniac convention just up the road. It's marginally annoying, to use a completely inappropriate modifier.

I should be trying to sleep, but the attempt will probably be futile. Meanwhile, looking at this screen is making my eyes sore. Maybe that will help in the long run.

I've just been thinking about how generally useless I've been in keeping in touch with even the most important people in my life (minus the arguably lucky one or two who hear from me all the time). I think the perpetuation of 'social networking', which is now making me think of smalltalking and greasing up to strangers in case it pays off for you in the future, has probably made it worse. Not only has it brought me back in touch with old friends and acquaintances, it's introduced me to new people, who I will probably never even meet in real life. These connections can all be wonderful, but they just add to the ever-increasing number of social obligations in one's life, and there can some real repercussions to what are essentially virtual social rules. In the past couple of years, I've noticed friendship dynamics and social mandates changing as we all become more connected to each other, despite the fact that these connections can be via cables and wireless messages flying through the ether. I constantly worry that I'm giving too much of myself away to too many people, but then I'm afraid that I will offend them if I deem them unworthy of my 'friendship'. And as much as I want to indulge the selfish, self-preserving, privacy-treasuring parts of me, I still baulk at the idea of hitting 'delete', 'ignore', or 'block'.

There are so many facets of these new social phenomena that I want to address, but I should probably just start a "Miss e-Manners" column instead.

In the meantime, if you're reading this, there's a good chance that you may consider that I have been a less-than-ideal correspondent. Even with (and perhaps because of) the hundreds of notifications and reminders I get, I may have missed your birthday, or let an email response fall by the wayside, or totally forgotten to do something that I said I would. I send my deepest e-pologies. I don't have any real excuses (just virtual ones, ha. ha. ha.). Please don't hesitate to send me a nudge or reminder; I respond well to external motivation.

And now...I'm going to try to sleep again.

Remembrance on the radio

2009-04-23T15:12:00.000+08:00

I'm not quite sure why I've started writing again when all I have to talk about is New Zealand-related stuff, but oh well. Being patriotic's not necessarily a bad thing.

Anzac Day is coming up, and I'm registered for both the morning commemoration and the sausage sizzle in the afternoon. It's probably the most expensive sausage sizzle I've ever been to, but oh well. Both events are in collaboration with the Australians (wasn't really sure how to lump the Consul General's office with the Australian Chamber of Commerce, so I'll just call them 'them'), but hopefully it will still be fun anyway (I kid, I kid. I get more schtick from New Zealanders for being an Aucklander than I do from Australians for being a Kiwi). Not quite sure why I volunteered for another early morning, especially on a Saturday, but it's several hours after the dawn service they're doing in Beijing, so at least there's that.

Conveniently close to Anzac Day, Radio New Zealand National correspondent and fellow third generation Chinese New Zealander Jason Moon has done an interview with two of my relatives who served in the New Zealand military back in the late 1930s. He spoke to my 94-year-old great-grand uncle Danny Lee, and my first cousin twice removed (my grandmother's first cousin), 76-year-old Ken Chan. If you're interested in hearing about their experiences both as military conscriptees (is that a word?) and being Chinese in the times of the poll tax, or a little bit about Dan's older brother Willie Chan, who died flying Spitfires for the British Air Force, check out the Windows Media stream, or download the MP3. Apparently my great-great-grandfather was well-schooled in martial arts, and would hand out regular ass-kickings to the local 'rascals' who gave him lip. Nice one, GGGF. It's also interesting to note that the war actually made it easier for Chinese refugees to enter New Zealand, as long as they already had relatives in the country. Thanks, Japan*.

Somewhat ironically, the cheap ingredients used in the trenches to make delicious Anzac biscuits are actually pretty expensive here. Maybe I will have to make some kind of Azian biscuit instead.

*This is only partially tongue-in-cheek. My late maternal grandmother probably wouldn't have appreciated the sentiment, but it made it easier for her, and my father's family, to legally enter New Zealand. It's funny how things work out.

Throwback to 2005

2009-04-17T23:58:00.001+08:00

For whatever reason, I have just read a few posts from just after I started this blog, including a 'you're not from around here, are you?' story, and one that included some maths questions that I never posted the answers to (I'll put them in the comments, I guess).

Anyway, I came across the following excerpt from a random, sleep-deprivation-induced posting (I can't believe I worked regular 16 hour days. The things you do to get out of New Zealand. Err...I mean...it's a great place!):

"Today was day 1 of a 6 part series of mind-numbingly-boring-no-outlet-for-skiving data entry. Blah. I am so taking my own music in on Monday so I don't have to listen to the Classic Hits No Repeat Work Day. Since when has Coolio's Gangster's Paradise been a classic hit? Although hearing my middle-aged female supervisor singing along was kind of hilarious. There was also a farewell morning tea (I'll jump on the goodbye bandwagon for some free cake), and office antics which involved a Saffa squashing himself into a wheelie bin which then fell over. Eventually he managed to jump out and scare his target so much that she screamed and spilled her coffee all over his farewell card. Comedy."

I think I remember which very temporary assignment this was, but I have absolutely no recollection of the cake, or the wheelie bin incident. Brains are weird.

I would like a title, but only if people continued to say my name right

2009-04-17T18:08:00.001+08:00

So I got up ridiculously early this morning to attend this Prime Minister talky breakfast thing. All in all, it was pretty good. My part of the whole affair was to present people with their predominantly correctly-spelled name tags, even though I didn't warrant one myself. Mine was written on a piece of paper in black Sharpie, and put into a name tag sleeve. Extra classy (although I do love black Sharpies).

Before the talky part, I got to chat with a policewoman (is that even a correct term anymore? Female community security person?) who was on the PM's security staff, and she gave me the lowdown on how easy the Thailand situation was for them. It was also kind of nice to chat with a few Kiwis for a change. I kind of hope that there are a few more social (rather than networking) events by KEA (the NZ expat association) in the future.

Mr Key, or "JK"* (as he was introduced, complete with air quotes), came across as personable, knowledgeable, and optimistic. He even played down the incident where he told the Aussies to keep their hands off certain controversially Kiwi exports (but they could have Russell Crowe on a bad day). This is such an old joke that I found reading this article (even though it's written from an Australian point of view) quite embarrassing, so I'm glad he made it seem like it was blown out of proportion.

Generally, he handled the speech and Q&A session really well, so I don't actually have anything more to say about his part, except that he really wants to get everyone in New Zealand fibre-based internet, which can't be a bad thing. He just really wants it. Disappointingly, he neither drove a bus through New Zealand town, nor sang a song** about it.

The most notable part of the morning for me was the mortifying moment where the MC was thanking the delegates who came along with the PM. He announced the Honourable Patsy Wong, whose name is actually Hon. Pansy Wong. He didn't skip a beat, either, so it's possible he's never met the woman, or read her name. He also mispronounced the name of one of the organisers (who's also my friend's dad), but I suppose at least he got the PM's name right. He also did a notable amount of public sucking up ("I'm really proud to be a New Zealander at a time where our country would elect such a great man" [paraphrase!], etc.), so I bet he'd be an amazing personal assistant or PR rep, as long as he managed to memorise the correct pronunciation of his boss's name.

*This should really be reserved for the great John Kirwan, in my opinion, or, at a push, Jay Kay from Jamiroquai.
**YouTube is still blocked in China, so I can't tell quite how awful this video will be. I trust it's still the same song, though. It's a great day for dogs, not just here, but everywhere in the North Island.

Guard Pacific's triple star...

2009-04-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow morning I'm getting up ridiculously early to help out at a business breakfast that the 38th Prime Minister of New Zealand, the Honourable John Key (or 'The Key' as certain notable people like to call him), is speaking at. Why am I doing this? Well, it was expensive to pay to go, and I get free breakfast this way. If you are unlucky enough to not be in Shanghai tomorrow, you could always drop him a line on ye olde Facebook. He's down with the kids these days.

So, on the eve of this auspicious occasion, I would like to present some choice cuts from the New Zealand national anthem, God Defend New Zealand. It's pretty God-centric, but that should be unsurprising, given the title. There's also nothing about Peter Jackson or JRR Tolkien.

From dissension, envy, hate,
And corruption guard our State,
Make our country good and great,
God defend New Zealand.

Peace, not war, shall be our boast,
But, should foes assail our coast,
Make us then a mighty host,
God defend our Free Land.

From dishonour and from shame
Guard our country's spotless name
Crown her with immortal fame,
God defend New Zealand.

Ona mano tangata
Kiri whero, kiri ma,
Iwi Maori Pakeha*,
Repeke katoa.

[Let all people,
Red skin, white skin
Mäori, Päkehä
Gather before you.]

Tona pai me toitü
Tika rawa, ponu pü;
Tona noho, tana tü;
Iwi no Ihowa.
Kaua mona whakama;
Kia hau te ingoa;
Kia tü hei tauira;
Aotearoa.

[Let its good features endure,
Let righteousness and honesty prevail
Among the people of God
Let it never be ashamed,
But rather, let its name be known
Thereby becoming the model to emulate,
Aotearoa .]

Thanks to nz.com for the full lyrics, including English, Maori, and translated Maori versions. I only ever knew a couple of verses of each (I knew there were five, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone sing all of them). There's also an audio file of the NZSO playing the anthem, which is lovely, but too short.

Also of interest is the fact that the official alternative national anthem is God Save the Queen. Yes, we are in the Commonwealth, but I didn't know we had an alternative theme tune. Actually, it's not even really an alternative, because they have the same status. We have two national anthems. But only one nation. Also, GDNZ used to be the national hymn. I didn't even know that was a thing.

Finally, to help NZ achieve immortal fame, Rhys Darby (you may know him from his stand-up comedy, or from his work with Flight of the Conchords) and his wife have a production company called Awesomeness International. I'd be upset that he stole my idea, except that he is indeed pretty awesome.

*Pakeha generally means whities. Although apparently it can now refer to any non-Maori person? Weird.

Speaking of literacy...

2009-03-13T13:38:00.002+08:00

I'm really glad that the vast majority of my friends who choose to maintain some kind of web presence are literate and write quite compelling observations of their everyday lives and the world at large.

I'm relying solidly on Google Reader at the moment to keep up with them, but I've genuinely been enjoying learning more about various friends and their lives around the world this way.

I'm going to list these solely by location, because otherwise compartmentalising them is too much of a burden for me! If you're not listed here...maybe you should be posting more often!

I highly recommend all of these blogs (dammit, I was trying so hard to avoid that word), but for a lot of different reasons, so give one or two a go.

Canada / Victoria : Just a Normal Day [will be linked in the sidebar as soon as it lets me/I remember about it again]

China / Hangzhou : Below Heaven is Hangzhou [Same as above]

China / Wuhan : Packers to Pandas

Hong Kong SAR / Sha Tin: new territories

Hong Kong SAR / Sha Tin: Mandarin Orange You Glad I Have A Blog?

UK / Brighton: davers dot org

USA / Baltimore : Josephine Henneberry

What in the WORlD?

2009-03-12T15:00:00.001+08:00

I've been a fan of lowercase L for a while now, so I'm always happy when I can contribute. Click the link below to see the full post. Thanks, WIllIAM.

In a WORlD ...

(Said with an imposing movie voiceover tone) "In a world ... where uppercase letters rule ... one letter stood out. It was ... the lowercase L".

Found overseas by contributor Wendy Wong, whose travels brought us a previous SAlTY find in WAlES, this Shanghai DVD store is officially busted, and it isn't for pirating movies. Movie Star may be "EVEN BETTER THAN MOVIE WORlD" in movie selection, but not in signage. Wendy writes:

I try not to pick on foreign examples, but I'm living in Shanghai, and I think this one's pretty good. Otherwise spelled correctly, and everything! Interesting to note is that there is no lower case in this lovely '90s font, so it actually is an uppercase I.

You may be interested to know that the pirated-DVD store formerly known as 'MOVIE WORID' is just across the road. It's now called 'Big Movie'.

Let's get (kind of) literary

2009-03-12T12:41:00.000+08:00

On Saturday afternoon I met up with a few people to go to some events as part of the Literary Festival that's running over the next few weeks.

The first event we saw was a talk by Jen Lin-Liu about her book 'Serve the People'. The topic, covering the range from small private kitchens in Beijing to apprenticing and working in large commercial kitchens in Shanghai, was intriguing, especially since I both enjoy cooking and have had a little bit to do with restaurant and pub kitchens. Unfortunately, she made it seem ordinary, and the way that she spoke about her experiences somehow conveyed no expertise at all, which is not what I want from someone who I want to tell me inside details about an industry I'm already a little familiar with. I think it boils down to her just needing more experience with the public speaking thing. More elaboration about the information in the book, actual answers to the questions (she did field some great questions, but not especially well), and fewer halting readings from the book would be a good start. Oh, and rapport-building skills? I don't know. Anyway, if the book fell into my lap, I might consider reading it, despite the fact that she pronounced the word 'myriad' as 'my-reed'. I am so judgmental.

Thankfully, a glass of wine was included in the ticket price, and we got to go immediately downstairs to get another glass of wine and see James Fallows speak. One of the girls who had come over from Wuhan is a huge fan, and I'm really glad I tagged along to see him. It's an increasing rarity to see a speaker who can form a coherent answer off the cuff, and turn banal questions into opportunities to give insight on something else. Yes, I watched several of the debates leading up to the American election last year. I didn't actually know much about Mr Fallows before I went in, but it turns out he was the youngest ever chief speechwriter for an American president (for Jimmy Carter), although it was recently inaccurately reported that Jon Favreau, White House hottie [personal opinion] and Obama's Director of Speechwriting, was. Fallows made a great crack about how it was much easier for Favreau, because he was writing for someone who could actually speak. James Fallows has authored nine books and for years been a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, as well as many other vaunted publications. His postings in the US, the Middle East, Asia, and elsewhere, and his many personal interests and achievements made this talk much more than just about promoting his latest book 'Postcards from Tomorrow Square'. [I live right behind Tomorrow Square!] He was humble in that he knew many of the people attending would have a closer relationship with China, and so mostly spoke to us about things he could give an expert opinion on. All in all, he came across as a fascinating, down-to-earth, adventurous man who dotes on his family and never hesitates to question the world. An amazing hour or so. My friend even got an autograph, a chat, and a business card afterwards. I've subscribed to his blog.

For another opinion on this afternoon, and weekend in general, check out Packers to Pandas.

Coincidence and confection

2009-03-11T11:34:00.001+08:00

Friday night started off with a coworker wishing me a 'happy Women's Day' before she left for the weekend. I had vaguely heard of it, but had no idea it was coming up. I have a funny feeling that we were supposed to get a half day off work for it, but as it was on Sunday, I felt a little bit ripped off. In any case, it's quite cool that China actually recognises March 8th as a holiday, unlike any other country I've ever lived in. Some restaurants and stores even give special deals to women to celebrate. Pity I didn't actually go out to support any commercial enterprises on Sunday.

Anyway, back to Friday...I had a friend visiting from Wuhan, and I tried and failed to get in touch with her about dinner. A major downside of the mobile phone networks in China is that you have to pay for incoming calls, and once you're out of credit, it's very difficult to top up if you're not in your own city. So, I accepted my second offer for dinner and went out with some coworkers and acquaintances. They'd pretty much finished by the time I got there, but I did managed to eat something and we sat around chatting for a while before we ordered the delicious frozen desserts that the restaurant is renowned for. In the meantime, a surprise chair pulled up next to me. It turned out that, in a city of nearly 20 million people, the friend I was trying to get hold of was sitting at the table right next to me. She hadn't realised until then because I had my back to them, and was sitting behind a really tall guy. He moved at some point, and she recognised my hoodie. How fantastic. We caught up for a bit, ate dessert, and then parted ways. I spent the rest of the night playing mahjohng and eating peanuts. Enough of the training rounds, I want to play for money next time. Watch me become more Chinese every day!

Speaking of Chinese and desserts, I've just started reading 'angry asian man', and that's where I found what he's deemed 'the most racist dessert ever'. Prejudice is a dish best served cold. With an umbrella.

A weird kind of symmetry

2009-02-16T12:06:00.001+08:00

My little brother's going home today, after spending six or so months in North America and the Caribbean. I've really enjoyed reading about his impressions of travelling, and somehow he's managed to capture a lot of my thoughts about the whole schtick, and also North America. Something about this post really resonated with me, and it's nice to know that some of his thoughts are very similar to mine, and that my thoughts are still somewhat hopeful! That he managed to gather so much from such a comparatively short time is kind of encouraging.

"I guess the one thing I can take away from this entire journey is to always have faith in people. More often than not, they'll come through for you.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has something to offer. And oftentimes, they're willing to help even if you don't ask or even if it means they have to go out of their way.

I've seen a lot of cities but I've come to the realisation that a city is just that - a city. It's the people that make and shape your experiences of it. The people are the beating heart, the breathing lungs and the blood that flows through the veins of a city. They give it charm, soul, character."

More actual stuff from me soon, I promise.

Too much excitement (or general stuff) in January

2009-01-20T17:15:00.001+08:00

I can't believe we're nearly 3 weeks into 2009 already. Things are busy slash exciting, so I'm just going to bullet point the notable events, knowing full well I won't come back to elaborate on them later.

Adding to the (sometimes) fun times:

04 January - New flatmate moved in. Have to work on a Sunday to make up for "three" (really just one) days off for New Year.
Early-mid January - Vague, slack preparation within the department for the dreaded end of year party. Lots of projects with upcoming deadlines.
15 January - Decided to go to Thailand to hang out with a friend of mine (sorry, Seoul, Taipei, Hong Kong, London). Booked the ticket at 3am. Finally received some long-awaited items from the UK.
16 January - Don't do much at work as we finally throw something together for the costume competition and 'performance'. Don't get me started on how I feel about the Yankee Swap. Party was not as abysmal as I expected. I drew number 1 for the swap, and stubbornly kept my own present (although who couldn't love a pink sheep pillow?). Party ended promptly at 10pm, at which time 90% of people went home. I drank too much wine and was not functioning by 2am.
17 January - My Chinese birthday. Spent the weekend watching Firefly and Serenity.
19 January - Find out another friend is going to be in Chiang Mai next week. Very exciting!

And now the future stuff:

20 January - The Obama inauguration. Partying is planned for later. Did you know that Obama-related words are at the top of the Top Words List for 2008 (according to The Global Language Monitor)?
24 January - Working on a Saturday to give us time off during the week.
25 January - Chinese New Year's Eve.
26 January - Day 1 of the Year of the Ox (and Australia Day). Fly to Chiang Mai.
27 January - I officially get older.
30 January - Leave Chiang Mai, hopefully after good times a-plenty.
31 January - Get back to Shanghai.
01 February - Go to work on a Sunday, to make up for the time off for New Year. Sense a pattern here? Auckland gets a 3 day weekend for Anniversary Day. I ... have to work.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-03T22:10:00.001+08:00

So I'm sitting in my flat waiting for someone to come and have a look at the spare room. I was planning to go to the post office today (as I had stayed up until about 5am getting packages ready to send) and then spend the rest of the day doing work that I need to have done for work tomorrow. The beginning of a 6 day week, no less. So, I woke up a bit later than expected, to a phone call from a guy who was interested in seeing the room for his friend. As I had expected to be alone in the flat until the 8th, and partially related to getting five packages ready to post, the place was a bit of a mess (okay, very untidy, but not so much dirty). So I had to spend a couple of hours getting the place and my room ready. Imagine my disgust when I realised that there was random crap and dirt in the spare room, and the last flatmate had somehow broken the closet. I made it all look as passable as possible (I do not want to pay half of that room's rent next month as well), but it still looks pretty bleak in there. I made the bed to make it look a little bit more liveable. And now they are late. Argh.

The new year has started out okay. I went over to a friend's place for New Year, which I was really happy to get an invitation to. I hadn't seen her nearly as much as I should have last year (hmm, that's the first time I've called it that), and just managed to catch her online on NYE, so pretty much invited myself over. It worked out well. They had plenty of food and drinks, and also UFC. That is Ultimate Fighting Championship for those not in the know (like me). The boys are pretty into it, by all accounts. I...didn't expect the last thing I'd do in 2008 to be watch guys try to beat the crap out of each other, but hey. Roll with it. I had a lot of fun and hope that I'll see more of those guys this year.

On New Year's Day I woke up to a text from James, which was nice. About 30 seconds later, I got a phone call which wasn't so nice. The CEO was calling to ask me if I had internet access at home. Just before I left on NYE, I had run into him and he asked me if I was able to check my email "tonight...or tomorrow". Come on! It's New Year's Eve. So imagine my dismay waking up to that on New Year's Day. He wanted me to proof an email that he was sending out to the whole company. He wanted it done that day, but we're not back until the 4th (a Sunday, which I'm not pleased about either). The only good part of that phone call was that I got to hear Dave's ringtone. Anyway, I did it, so as to start the year off with minimal procrastination (I even cooked myself a frittata for breakfast), and as at the 3rd, I haven't had any reply from him. To further add to my NY rage, the maid came, ran the washing machine, emptied the bins, but didn't appear to do anything else. She didn't do any of my ironing or my laundry, and I have no idea what she washed, because it wasn't anything in the flat.

The rest of my day was spent shopping. I went for a wander to try to find a 'cute shop' that my sister had found on the other side of People's Square. Either I didn't remember her instructions properly, or she had told me the wrong way, but it took me ages before I found it. In the meantime, I bought some street food, spilled some delicious meat juice on one of my mittens, found the biggest bookstore I've seen thus far (seven floors, totally packed with people, and probably a good thing that I couldn't read most of the books), marvelled at how many people could queue up in a cafe, bought some snacks at a supermarket, saw some disturbing carcasses in crates outside a butcher, and saw a kid about to poo on the street (who deals with the results of these sorts of things?!). I ended up buying all manner of vaguely pointless cute things, and somehow justified it all. Then a trip to another cute shop to repeat the process. By that time I was ready to eat again so I went home via a bubble tea stand and the food place where I can just point at the stuff that I want. Then for some reason I had a Will Smith night and watched I Am Legend and The Pursuit of Happyness. I mostly enjoyed them both, but the latter made me kind of sad. Sometimes I think Will Smith is a bit overrated, but sometimes I really quite like him.

Yesterday was spent sleeping in and then going to Tesco, which was very exciting. I resisted the temptation to buy a massive padded men's dressing gown with Chinese print, but did buy some long underwear and yet another pair of slippers (I will have one for each day of the week soon, I'm sure), plus quite a bit of other stuff. Tesco in China is not quite the same as it is in the UK (understatement), but they do have Tesco Value branded stuff, and a meat floss counter. For the uninitiated, pork floss is really popular here, and as far as I know it's concocted from dry-frying very small bits of pork. I think. It's quite good, but is found on a disturbingly high number of bakery products. Anyway, the counter had a whole bunch of different kinds of floss, but I only know this because all the prices were different. I have no idea what the types were. I didn't find the two things I wanted to buy, but never mind. I now have long johns. Bonus. Also, on the way home, my taxi driver blatantly lied and told me that I speak Chinese really well. Still, it made me smile. And maybe I do pronounce my handful of words really well, who knows?

Oh, an update: the guy who came to see the flat today (with his dad and mentor) will be moving in this week. I hope. I don't really want to be paying extra rent for January too. He is from Atlanta, and seems pretty acceptable upon the first meeting. Although I have decided not to live in Asia with any more old American men (yes, never again), I think the younger ones tend to be okay. Fingers crossed, anyway!

You can't argue with numbers...

2008-12-31T01:29:00.003+08:00

...they tell me I am a total slacker.

What the hell. I'm bumping it up to 17 before it becomes 2009.

I may have actually been a 'blogger' in 2006. How bizarre.

Stretchy

2008-12-31T01:06:00.000+08:00

In the grand tradition of not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I've changed the layout of my blog so that it makes better use of the space in your browser. No more annoyingly blank left sidebar for you!

I've also updated some blog links in my sidebar, and they will appear in order of whoever bothered to update the most recently. Good for them, they deserve the glory.

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-30T09:24:00.002+08:00

Usually at this time of year I will at least have attempted a Christmas post or copied and pasted some of my Christmas email in a thin attempt to update the world on my goings on. I at the least managed to get that email out, even if it was extremely last-minute (my usual style, so at least I'm being consistent).

If I am to sum up the year succinctly, I would have to say that it's been interesting, challenging, lonely, strangely rewarding, and always Asian. As usual, I've met some great people, although not as many as most years (and in some cases I haven't actually met them), and I've taken the plunge with a full time job. I like the place where I live and the people I work with, but there's definitely room for improvement in several areas of my life. All of these involve me trying to find some self-motivation, so let's hope there's some floating around here somewhere.

In the lead up to Christmas I got really busy at work (even more so because we don't get a holiday for it in China), and a bit worried that I wouldn't be able to find reasonable plans with which to ensure people that I was occupied with. One of my sisters came to visit for a while, which was wonderful, and thankfully I was able to impose upon a lovely almost-stranger and had a fantastic Christmas break in Wuhan in central China. Now I have no plans for New Year's Eve, but a wander around town and a night in sounds kind of nice. I have my apartment to myself a the moment (even though the empty room is costing me), and I'm enjoying it a fair bit. I'm promising myself that I'll stop listening to the Christmas music soon, though.

I am currently typing on the AlphaSmart 3000 that arrived in the mail today (along with a spare dryer part that means I can dry my clothes quickly, and some oh-so-slightly belated Christmas presents that I love), and I hope that it will somehow help me with this motivation/distraction problem that plagues me on a regular basis. What is an AlphaSmart 3000, you may ask. Well, it's what I like to call a '90s retrofuturistic word-processing keyboard. It's also made of green-blue semi-transparent plastic, so it really doesn't get much better. In a nutshell, I can type almost as much as I want without having to worry about power cords, boot-up time, or the deadly distraction of the internet. I'm in bed right now, and when I'm ready to go to sleep, I just have to hit the on/off button (no save necessary), or just let it switch itself off in ten minutes. I hope that it will help me with a lot of the writing that I've been telling myself I need to do (paid and unpaid), and at the least might help me keep up with my correspondence. I may be laying an awful lot of pressure on less than a kilo's worth of glorified calculator, but every little bit helps, surely? I'm also going to take it in to the ridiculously-long, somewhat-pointless meetings I have to attend, and annoy people with my incessant clickity-click as I do other work but pretend to take notes. Awesome plan, if I do say so myself. And if none of that works, it makes a handy peripheral keyboard for my laptop.

So, my resolutions involve somehow improving my social life, work habits, and language education, but I think it all boils down to being brave and just getting stuff done. I can do stuff. Right?

Soup and starfish songs

2008-11-24T12:23:00.005+08:00

Well, I'm quite busy today at work but yet, through the magic of the Wong Procrastination Transfer Method (WPTM), here I am trotting out a blog post instead.

I'm having issues with communication at work, but I've decided that it's a general problem in Asia, so hopefully I can get around it. The project manager on one of my projects is kind of pissed with me. The main thing is that my boss knows that the root of the communication problem is not me. Hooray.

Anyway, I've been spending the majority of my spare time lately watching movies on DVD, crocheting new stuff for me and certain lucky individuals, and discovering that I have a talent for making soup. Cold weather is good for something. So far I've made spicy lentil, potato and eggplant; curried sweet potato; and pumpkin and coriander. I like the blender. And the fresh vegetable market up the road from my flat.

The main reason I wanted to get this post out into the world (besides seriously dreading writing the document I'm supposed to be doing) is that I wanted to share something really special. Now, in the past, I have inspired people to travel, write poetry, draw posters, become extremely jealous, get the hell away from me, etc., but this is the first time (that I know of) that anyone's written a song. It's also fantastic, which is a total bonus. If you'd like to see it through the magic of YouTube, then please feel free. Then leave a comment to tell him how wonderful it/he is, as I'm sure I can't tell him enough. Oh, and it's a work in progress. Just in case you think it can't possibly get better, apparently it can. [It's called Starfish because my Chinese name means 'sea star'. Get it?]

Yes we can

2008-11-10T02:32:00.004+08:00

The fourth of November was historical, not just for the USA, but for large parts of the world. Many outsiders sat with crossed fingers, willing the message of hope and change to get through to the American voting public. For far too long, a Republican administration had destroyed international relations and ensured travelling Americans a frosty welcome in many places around the globe.

Barack Obama's call to action was composed of three of the simplest words in the English language, but somehow conveyed optimism, positivity, community, and hope for the future.

Yes we can.

I have no doubt that his words will go down in history, like those of Kennedy and Lincoln. I'm not usually one to get political (and it won't become a habit), but I continue to be fascinated by the fact that three little syllables managed to move millions, spark imagination, and spur action that has already changed the future. I hope that it continues.

From the Language Trainers blog. I wrote it, don't worry. Now go watch the video.

Blogging at lunchtime is fun

2008-11-03T14:05:00.001+08:00

It started getting cold about a week before Hallowe'en, which is something I'd kind of been looking forward to. And when I say cold, I mean it dipped below 20 degrees (Celcius), not that it's gotten actually cold yet. But it will, no doubt. Hopefully I will be able to purchase some swanky rain/snow boots before the weather really starts to turn. In the meantime, I get to wear all my fun cold-weather accessories, and I'm enjoying it because I don't have to wear them yet. I'm not sure how I will feel when I am wearing everything I own in order to keep warm.

I haven't actually managed to get all my stuff home yet (I've still got a couple of boxes of stuff that I shipped from HK sitting in my office), but I've been progressively taking things home with me over the last couple of weeks. Just about all my clothes have made it home (and the maid ironed stuff for me today, woohoo), and the big box is nearly empty. I can't believe I actually have semi-full closets (I have two in my room; sweet).

Workwise, things are going pretty well, I guess. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm supposed to be doing, but we have a couple of projects coming up where I actually have to produce things, so I should be busy enough over the next couple of months at least. I'm teaching about 12 of my colleagues English, which is fun, and I'm in charge of an intern who I won't comment on in case he ever finds this blog. Meantime, if anyone wants to move to Shanghai, or knows anyone who does, we are looking for people who have excellent written and spoken English skills, preferably with some kind of teaching background or qualification. Let me know!

In general news, things are okay. I have been incredibly unmotivated to teach myself Mandarin, which I feel guilty about on a daily basis. I have picked up a little bit (probably through osmosis), but really need to get on to active learning. As it's been getting colder, I've picked up the crochet hooks again, so put in your orders for winter warmth by Wendy. I'm not freaking out too much about the full timeyness of my life, yet, but the thought of not being able to take holidays when I want to still makes my throat close up a little bit. I'm just thinking about the money. Yay, money!

Interim

2008-09-18T01:59:00.002+08:00

As I'm still perfecting the Wong Procrastination Transfer Method, here's a very quick update until I get on top of things (possibly not for a few more weeks yet).

I'm in week three of Shanghai, and everything seems to be going pretty well so far. The usual hiccups associated with living in Asia, but nothing I (hopefully) can't deal with. I've found a place to live, which I should be moved in to by Tuesday, and I've caught up with some old friends and made some new ones. My sleep pattern is slightly regulated! I've been going to bed at 12 and 1 (she says at 2am), and while it has its downsides, being able to function at work is a bonus.

I basically just wanted to say that I'm fine!

Inclement Weather

2008-08-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

This was written on Saturday afternoon when I was already supposed to be back in HK teaching classes. For some reason it didn't go through. I finally arrived back early this morning, 30 hours late and six hours before I was supposed to show up to entertain a kid's birthday party. It went well, considering that all I'd put in my stomach beforehand was a bottle of iced coffee.

---

I'm currently on hold with my airline waiting for someone to pick up the line to tell me when I can fly back to Hong Kong. The hold music is terrible, and sounds like vaguely-Asian music done via midi file that keeps breaking up. Quite frustrating to listen to.

I arrived at the airport in Bangkok last night after about 9 hours of travel from Koh Chang, only to be told that there was a typhoon in Hong Kong and I wouldn't be flying. The airline has made no moves in the direction of compensation, but luckily my travel insurance doesn't expire until the first week of September, so I'm covered. I thought I was having somewhat good transport luck yesterday, too, as the very first cab that pulled over agreed to take us on the meter without any sort of haggle (anyone who's been to Bangkok will know that this is rare), and when we arrived, the Italian couple I'd shared the taxi with offered to pay for the whole thing. Yay. Then, disappointment.

It was incredibly difficult to get anything useful out of the call centre people (the only number I was given by the check-in staff), and after quite a frustrating time at the airport, I put myself on a bus back to good old Khao San Road. I had to call the helpline last night only to be told to call them again in the morning. This morning they said I would fly at 10pm, although the website says 19.20. Hence the waiting on the line again now.

The actual holiday on Koh Chang was a lot of fun, despite the weather not being great (it is rainy season, after all). I had an awesome time with Kirsh, including laughing at her when she fell off the elephant that one time. Mostly we ate a lot of good food, drank tasty drinks and caught up with each other. There was also a bit of beach action, and the expected pampering and shopping. Something about Kirsha must inspire people to drink, though, and I can no longer say 'I don't drink beer' (which may shock a lot of you). Now it's 'I mostly don't drink beer'. The Sangsom buckets did me in, though, and Kirsh was kind enough not to laugh at me too much until the next day.

I'm still on hold, so still don't know when I will be getting home. I just want to get there so I can start on all these things that need doing before I leave for Shanghai next weekend! I was also supposed to have some of my last classes today, so I don't get to say goodbye to the kids. I'm quite sad about that, really.

Ah well, it's all part of the fun of travelling I guess. At least I will be able to claim something on my travel insurance for once!

The Big News

2008-08-10T22:55:00.003+08:00

I had hesitated to make any sort of announcement about this until it was at least a little bit confirmed, but my big news is that I've accepted my first permanent role (ever), and will be moving to Shanghai in less than three weeks!

That's right, this little commitmentphobe is finally taking the plunge, and the signing of an employment contract for an indefinite period of time is imminent. Add to that the fact that I will probably have to sign a lease on an apartment of my very own, and you will be very surprised to hear that I haven't yet had heart palpitations or resorted to hyperventilation. I am actually quite excited.

I was contacted a few weeks ago by a friend of a friend, saying that they needed someone if I was looking for a position in Shanghai. The job itself is doing scriptwriting and editing for English language learning podcasts, as well as some research, meeting clients, and conducting in-house training. As I eventually wanted to get into the publishing side of education, I jumped at the chance to fast-track this plan (not that I'm not enjoying the teaching, but more about that in a minute). A couple of emails, (what ended up being) eight pages of writing samples and methodologies, a phone interview, and some reference checks later, and I had a verbal offer. After a few clarifications about my future employment package, I happily accepted the job on Friday (just a few hours before the Olympics opened, and on that [hopefully] auspicious day 08/08/08). I won't go into the details about the benefits, but suffice to say I'm pretty happy (AND I get a lunch allowance!). I'll also finally get around to learning some Mandarin. Hooray for languages.

So I have not all that many days (or classes) left in Hong Kong. Around about now is usually when I start to appreciate a place, and do all those things that I'd meant to do for ages. Also it seems that now is about when I've just met some quite cool people, and am started to get more work offers. Oh well! They're balanced out by the fact that a couple of my male students (who are about 8 or 9) do not seem to know what is appropriate when touching teachers (probably they shouldn't do it at all, but they definitely shouldn't be doing what they did yesterday!).

And now the important part: What does this all mean for you? As of the end of August, I will no longer be available on my current mobile number or at my current postal address. It's probably best not to send me anything from now on (boo!) as I would hate to miss it during the move. I will update as soon as I know my new contact details. Of course I will still be contactable via all electronic means (and my Melbourne number).

The other important change that I will have to make is in my ridiculous sleeping pattern (it probably looks either like a Magic Eye or an Escher painting). No longer will I be able to stay up all night (or sleep all afternoon), and you will (probably) notice a significant drop in my online presence. I hope I will be too busy to be sad (in more ways than one) about this.

All in all, quite a satisfactory result (I am trying to forget about the fact that I only get two weeks of annual leave a year).

I will make sure I have at least a futon for all my future visitors. Come to see me!

Wow

2008-08-09T01:02:00.001+08:00

Well, I was going to write about myself, of all things, but I just spent four hours watching extended live coverage of the Olympic Games opening ceremony in Beijing. The first hour, especially, was completely mindblowing, and I have just come to the conclusion that the Chinese are either magicians or robots. Or maybe some amazing combination of the two.

I can't even begin to describe some of the things they did, so here are some numbers instead:

08/08/08: the 29th Olympiad Games opens.
43 billion USD spent on this year's Olympic Games.
15,000 individual (and very detailed) costumes involved in the opening ceremony.
20,000 people performed in the opening ceremony.
Over 10,000 athletes from 205 countries are competing.
4 of these athletes are from Iraq, and were only very recently allowed to compete.
91,000 seats in the Bird's Nest stadium, with 11,000 temporary seats erected for the opening ceremony.
Tickets for the opening started at 600 USD, but the price increased dramatically over the past six months.
The famous Chinese basketball player Yao Ming is 7'6".
29 sets of fireworks in the shape of giant footprints led to the Bird's Nest Stadium as the games open.
2008 drummers began the ceremony in almost perfect synchrony. 2008 t'ai chi players did an amazing demonstration later on.
29,000 fireworks shells were used in the biggest fireworks display in history.

I really just wanted to play it in the background so I could get along with a backlog of work I have at the moment, but it pretty much held my attention the entire time (except for when I got really hungry and ducked off to boil some dumprings during the bit where all the athletes come in). So now I have a whole bunch of stuff to do, and I'm tired from the overstimulation of probably the biggest event the world has ever seen (until the closing ceremony, probably!).

Oh, also ...

2008-08-05T16:29:00.005+08:00

The MTR station at Fortress Hill smells exactly like the Central Line trains in London. Is that weird? No other MTR station seems to, either, just this one.

Generally upsetting things happening

2008-08-04T22:52:00.004+08:00

Today I went on a bit of a mission to pick up some money owed for services rendered last month, and while I was on the train, I noticed a girl wearing a black top with huge silvery writing that said:

BIZARRE
MUST
AWESOME
WANT

Odd. I picked up my moneys (and it turned out that I didn't actually have to make the hour plus trip out there, but never mind. I had the opportunity to take a new cross-harbour ferry, and make some purchases I'd been meaning to make for ages. I also had the opportunity to take a picture of a giant sneaker slide. Unfortunately, it was closed.

After a quick and cheap lunch (thanks, Yoshinoya), I had to wait an upsettingly long time for my bus, which made me a few minutes late for my class. While I was on the bus, I noticed a man at one of the bus stops that looked strangely like a Chinese version of Bobcat Goldthwait. That was weird enough, but I noticed him trying to smooth a notice back on to a lamp post. Whether he was just trying to read it, or trying to make it look nicer, I don't know. I thought that it was marginally odd behaviour (and he was making really weird facial expressions), and this was when I noticed that from the end joint up, his left thumb branched into TWO THUMB TIPS. Nails and everything. As I was blinking in disbelief at the strangely heart-shaped malformation, the bus took off. Whew. I have never seen a branching digit like that before. [After a quick squizz at trusty Wikipedia, apparently polydactyly (extra fingers or toes) occurs once in every 500 live human births. That seems ... a lot more common than I would have thought. And it's more common in Amish populations, but I'll leave that one for you to consider.]

The rest of the day has gone by without too much disturbingness, but then of course there is this horrific story of a double beheading (parental guidance recommended), and, not to be outdone, another one, with added cannibalism (raw, and in front of a busload of innocent Canadians). [Little bro, if you're reading this, don't read this story, okay?] What the hell is going on?

I'm actually in a pretty good mood, though, through a combination of a few things and a few people. If anybody needs cheering after reading the weirdness, there is always this, and this, and, even though it's in Russian, this. Thank goodness for cute (and sorry to people who have already seen these links, but surely you can't have too much cute?).

Eulogy of Wong Chan Lai Sheong

2008-08-04T01:37:00.001+08:00

The following is a slightly-modified version of the eulogy that was read at my grandmother's funeral on July 12, 2008. I'm pretty sure it made more sense in the original Chinese, so that's the only reason I've edited the English version.

I don't really expect anyone to read it, but she was an amazing woman who led an inspiring life, and I wanted to share her story.

--------------------

Mrs Lai Sheong Wong (nee Chan), 陳勵嫦, was born on the 16th of June, 1917, according to the lunar calendar. Her home village was 下基, in the city 増城, in Guangdong province. Her father was Kim Chor Chan and her mother was Ping Yee Wong. She was the younger of two daughters.

勵嫦's grandfather migrated to New Zealand over a hundred years ago. He was the eldest of seven sons, who were all doing business in New Zealand. Like many Chinese men in New Zealand, 勵嫦’s father went back to China to get married. As her parents only had two daughters, he adopted a boy from one of his younger brothers. So 勵嫦 had a younger brother but he lived his whole life in New Zealand.

As 勵嫦’s father was doing business overseas, the family in their home village was rich and open-minded. Even though 勵嫦 was a girl, she still received a very good education, which was rare in those times. She studied in Guangzhou city and graduated from the faculty of Library Management at Guangzhou Technical Institute. When she was 19 years old and hadn't yet graduated from her studies, her parents arranged her marriage. She married Mr. Lai Chow Wong. Her husband was also well educated and encouraged 勵嫦 to finish her studies.

The political situation was very uncertain by that time. When Japan invaded China in 1938, her family escaped to Hong Kong. 勵嫦’s eldest son was born on the way there. The family stayed in Hong Kong for five years until Hong Kong also fell into Japan’s hands. The family then went back to their home town. Their second son was born in 1944, during the Second World War.

The family moved back to Guangzhou city when the war was over. 勵嫦 taught at a secondary school, and later the couple planned to do some business together. They opened a dairy shop, a barbecue shop and later a dairy farm which supplied milk to the local residents. The farm was still running when China was taken over by the communist government. 勵嫦’s father and mother were also back from New Zealand to have their retirement in Guangzhou. It was good news to 勵嫦, as her parents were finally reunited. However, the dairy farm had to be joined-ventured with the government in 1957 under the new policies. The couple lost control of the company and 勵嫦 became an accountant for the company.

Furthermore, her husband was marked as anti-revolutionary during the political upheaval and was sent away for ‘re-education’ to a place that was essentially a prison, and he lost his freedom. 勵嫦 had to look after the whole family on her own, taking care of her four children as well as her parents. 勵嫦 and her husband were forced to separate for 16 years. During the Cultural Revolution, their home was searched three times in total. Nearly everything was destroyed and no furniture was left intact. Times were harsh, but 勵嫦 never lost hope and kept waiting for her husband to come back home.

In order to see her husband, 勵嫦 had to take a long train journey and then walk for several hours. However, the visit itself was very short, and in less than a few minutes her husband was taken away. The only thing they could do was to write letters to each other. Her husband wrote many traditional poems in the letters which were full of implicit passion. Their love for each other grew stronger and stronger. Their marriage was arranged and they did not know each other before the wedding, but their relationship was very successful. 勵嫦 always said she really fell in love with her husband after they got married. So, during this time of political deterioration where the traditional virtues were destroyed and moral value was low, the love between 勵嫦 and her husband was like a precious diamond that shone in a dark sky.

The second son and eldest daughter of 勵嫦 went to Hong Kong in 1970 to seek a new life for their family. There they met their uncle, who was taking a holiday from New Zealand. With the help of their uncle, they migrated to New Zealand in 1975. 勵嫦’s husband was released in 1976. When the Cultural Revolution was over, the door of China was opened again. 勵嫦’s youngest daughter moved to New Zealand in 1979. Together with her mother and husband, 勵嫦 arrived in New Zealand in 1982. Her eldest son and family joined them the next year.

勵嫦 was very glad to meet so many relatives again in New Zealand. She and her husband enjoyed the lifestyle there, as well as the air of freedom. They spent their retirement in peace and contentment. Besides taking care of their grandchildren, they would look after the garden and also grew some vegetables. They liked to be financially independent and sometimes grew alfalfa to sell at the market. When Mr. Wong passed away in 1990, 勵嫦 was very sad, but she was very strong and got through it quickly. She knew playing mahjong was a good way to cheer herself up and she enjoyed playing it. She also liked to do morning exercise and Tai Chi.

勵嫦 had a very high level of literacy, especially in classical Chinese literature. Even while getting old, she still maintained her reading habit. She was also a good cook and often prepared delicious meals for her family. When living in New Zealand with less Chinese food to buy, she learnt how to make dim sum and seasonal Chinese food to celebrate different kinds of Chinese festivals.

勵嫦 had a very happy retirement in New Zealand. She had many enjoyable and memorable occasions with her relatives and friends. 勵嫦 was a devout Buddhist, and although she could not drive to go to the temple often, she would read the Sutra and prayed every day. She regularly took vegetarian meals six days each month and eagerly gave donations to the Buddhist temple. She was a kind, respectful and gentle person who was full of compassion. When the earthquake struck Si-chuan, China, 勵嫦 was very generous and fully supported the fundraising activities.

Over the past two years, 勵嫦 had been getting weaker. Her two daughters took very good care of her. Unfortunately, she was admitted to hospital on the 29th of June, as her condition was deteriorating, and she passed away peacefully on the 7th of July.

勵嫦 lived a life of 91 years. She witnessed wars and the takeover of governments in China. She and her family were also the victims of political movements. But we can see the life of 勵嫦 shone in a dark era. Her love for her husband, her parents and her children never changed, even in adversity. We are glad that 勵嫦 had a rich life. She also showed us her virtue and selfless love. Her love for her family and all those loving memories are always in our hearts.

The (not so happy) haps

2008-07-22T20:10:00.001+08:00

I've started this post a couple of times already, knowing full well that I probably wouldn't publish it because I don't like writing when things aren't going so well [insert 'Awwww' here]. But such is life that it can't always inspire pure envy in my readers, and a girl must carry on. I need to remind myself that things have been pretty damned sweet for me over the last several years [strike that: the majority of my life], and it's about time I had a few challenges to show me what kind of woman [gasp! When did I stop being a girl?] I've become. Right? Right.

The short* update:

Social - It's been difficult to meet people (although I have met some nice ones), and I did have a couple of friends living here for a while (even though I hardly ever saw them). Probably the social low point of my life so far, which is a little sad. I've been lucky enough to have a couple of visits from friends transiting through Hong Kong, though. I've become overly reliant on the internet for keeping tabs on loved ones, but hopefully it's just a phase (having few real-life friends, not keeping tabs on existing ones). I'm especially grateful for those who keep me cyber company on a regular basis. You know who you are.
Accommodation - I moved in with a bit of a weirdo after I got back from visiting Lise in China. Lived with him a million miles away from everywhere for three long months (luckily Lise came to stay with me for one of those). I'm now living with an American guy and a Chinese guy. I pretty much have a whole floor to myself, and quite often get free dinner, so am generally pleased with the situation.
Work - is still chugging along at quite a slow pace. Part-time jobs with potential for much more work have remained part time. Some positions have been essentially 'glorified entertainer', but I quite like that. I've been paid to wear a lab coat, play with dry ice, make paper planes, set things on fire, make kids dizzy, blow bubbles, and high five small children. I've taught kids from as young as 17 months (!), which is something I never anticipated doing. Despite the lack of hours, I am quite enjoying the work, and my former intolerance for children has changed to a surprising (kind of) appreciation. I've also started doing a bit of writing for a company in the UK, which helps to keep things varied and interesting.
Family - My parents came over to visit for a few days just over a month ago. It was really lovely to see them, and meet some of my mum's relatives from here and just over the border in China. A bit of an exhausting weekend, but overall pretty fantastic (presents, free food, and a visit to a theme park: who could ask for more?). In more sombre news, my paternal grandmother passed away two weeks ago, after a relatively short stay in hospital, but a couple of years of gradual decline. My sister, cousin, and I got to listen to the funeral service via the magic of the internet, but it still doesn't really change the fact that we aren't at home. She led an amazing and fruitful life, and I will be dedicating a future post to rewriting her eulogy.

The long, rambling, introspective update will possibly follow, but going on what I know of myself, may never happen. Cross your fingers or thank your lucky stars (whichever is appropriate).

*Comparatively short, as this is updating over three months.

Redundancy

2008-03-19T04:44:00.003+08:00

About me:
I've finished moving in to my new place in the middle of nowhere (not really nowhere, but good luck to me if I want to either get in to the city or get out of it at any but regular people hours), and it's all good so far. I am enjoying being able to cook what I want, when I want; leave my things in the bathroom; walk out the door and not have to wait for an elevator; and see the sky! Also, I'm enjoying being able to waste all my time on the internet (more about this below).
As for work, unfortunately there's a strain (or more) of flu going around that has caused sufficient damage for all the primary schools to be closed until at least after Easter. This means bad luck for me, as I am teaching primary school kids. I'm still waiting for news about some secondary classes (which scare the crap out of me), but as yet, no news.

About my online presence:
Well, as Facebook has pretty much taken over my online presence (scary, but true), I have neglected to maintain other sites. I hardly ever look at my Blogger page, because I send everything to it by email. Tonight I decided to take a look, update the old links and whatever, and apparently my Yahoo!Geocities page, and all my photos on Kodak Gallery have been deleted because of inactivity. I really don't remember getting any email notifications about this, but I didn't really use them anyway, and I doubt many people (but secret stalkers, I know you're out there) will miss these links. Meanwhile, most of the important stuff is on Crackbook.

About wasting time on the internet:
Unlimited internet, no job, being out of the city, and looking at Luke's very entertaining blog, Playing the Cancer Card, all add up to me spending far too much time surfing and losing hours on websites I didn't know existed until last week (oh, and YouTube). I've added some of the blogs to the links in the sidebar, but I'll recommend (or just generally point out the existence of) the following:

Blogs and articles and random websites:

Playing the Cancer Card
Judge a Book by its Cover - an American librarian brings you hilarious/awful book covers.
Stuff White People Like - it is what it says.
I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar - the Facebook group that helps me be even more pedantic and judgemental.
Brian Austin Green's IMDB entry - just look at the photo, he looks like a robot.
The 7 Most Terrifying Corporate Mascots of All Time
30 Things That Should Never be Adapted to Film - I especially like Daniel Day Lewis as Robotnik.
The Dustin Diamond Foundation - apparently this isn't even a real foundation (despite its clear lack of website design funds), and Screech is a big liar (I don't actually recommend visiting this link, I'm just freaked out that it exists).

YouTube-o-rama:

Anyone Else But You - Michael Cera and Ellen Page cover a Moldy Peaches song at the end of Juno (my favourite movie of the year so far). Completely cute.
You Can't Stop The Beat - The finale from 2007's Hairspray (my second favourite movie of the year so far).
I'm F*cking Matt Damon - Sarah Silverman's video for Jimmy Kimmel (Matt Damon dancing in overalls is hilarious).
I'm F*cking Ben Affleck - Jimmy Kimmel's reply totally out-celebs the Matt Damon video.
Eagle vs Shark trailer - Taika Waititi's 'awkward love story'. Love it.
Lease - The Musical - I thought I'd posted this, but apparently not. The NZ 48 Hour Film Competition winner for 2007. Time-restricted musical comedy genius (and by friends of mine!).
Two Cars, One Night Part One and Part Two - Taika Waititi's Academy Award-nominated black and white short film. I hadn't seen it till today, and it's so extremely Kiwi that I'm not sure anyone from outside of New Zealand would entirely understand what the kids are saying. I loved it, of course. The actors are too much, girl, too much.

I hope there's something there for everyone, dick, I mean, boy.

Some things I noticed on my way around town today

2008-02-16T19:37:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you can't tell the difference between a crip walk and a legitimate leg injury.
They were playing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' in a wig shop (that I walked past and didn't go into).
The Backstreet Boys are playing in HK in two weeks. They are charging 60-100USD a ticket. I didn't know they still had that much pull. And are there only four of them now?!
P.S. I Love You: a new romance starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler. WTF?! [Okay, I just read the synopsis on IMDB and I'll probably watch it on DVD one day. Meanwhile, the poster is stupid.]

The State of It

2008-02-05T04:38:00.001+08:00

Whilst the most interesting thing to happen to me lately may well be that I have a new profile picture, I feel like I should be writing something here. Although it follows hot on the heels of my Christmas email, I really have been awful at any sort of actual updates.

Presently I am a week into being back in Hong Kong, am staying in the same single, cell-like room on the 16th floor of one of the blocks in the backpacker slum that is Chungking Mansions. It sounds luxurious, I know. There is a 24 hour internet cafe right in the middle of the hostel though, so I can't complain too much. I have no excuse for not applying for all the jobs on the island, except that too much internet is very distracting.

However, I have managed to apply for a dozen or so vaguely education-related jobs, and have yet to hear back from most of them. I blame the upcoming Chinese New Year festivities entirely, although it is possible that recruiters here are just lazy. Why wouldn't they want to take a risk on me and sponsor me to live and work here?

It's still a fairly antisocial place, but I have managed to meet a few people and brave the cold to do errands and see such things as the spectacular laser light show on the harbour. How they coordinate all those lights on all those buildings with all that cheesy music, I'll never know.

The couple of months I spent in southeast Asia were fantastic, and I have my travel buddies, as well as Thailand, Laos and Vietnam, to thank for that. The trip was refreshing, warming, entertaining and challenging, and I can't wait until I have some money so I can explore more of Asia. I will aim to, although not promise to, post some summaries, highlights and tips for each of these countries at some point.

Best of luck to everyone who's starting afresh in the southern hemisphere!

2007 in short

2007-12-18T15:34:00.001+08:00

This is the ''year in summary'' section of my annual Christmas email:

I started out the year on a beach just north of Auckland, having just returned home from Edinburgh. The first few weeks at least found me in a bit of an emotional mess, but I was lucky enough to have some of my best friends in the city with me for a few months at least.

I completed two temporary admin assignments (both employers wanted to keep me), and enrolled last-minute in the Cambridge English Teaching to Adults (CELTA) course for May. Not having expended any academic energy in the past 7 years, and not knowing what my tolerance for teaching would be, I was vaguely apprehensive. It was a gruelling full time, four week course for a group of twelve wannabes. Sadly, we lost one on the way, but everyone else managed a passing grade (despite my ridiculous verbosity in classes). I discovered that I actually enjoyed the teaching a lot more than I had anticipated, and my brain enjoyed being used for more than working out 24 hour time at the airport.

Newly qualified, I had a cameo appearance at the last temp job, and attended both weddings of some good friends (Melbourne and then Aberdeen). Oddly enough, this meant I was in Scotland for my fifth summer. Who could have predicted another Festival for me? After recovering from a fairly intense ordeal with UK immigration ("I'm going to a wedding, honest!"), I had another fantastic couple of months in Edinburgh and around.

The nagging feeling that I should have been doing something about my future employment status merged with a chance business trip a friend was taking, and I found myself meeting her in Hong Kong. After playing tourist for a while, I found myself in what was honestly the loneliest and most difficult few weeks I can remember. Chances to meet people were slim, and feeble attempts on my part to find work and sponsorship returned little in the way of positive responses. Not wanting to dwell on this, I decided to meet up with friends for a trip to Laos instead. Three and a half weeks later, we're on our way back to Thailand, and the decision to break from Hong Kong is definitely not regretted. We've had a fantastic trip, and in the meantime I've heard some encouraging (although not recruiting) feedback from some earlier applications.

All in all, it's been an up and down year, with a vague direction which I'm still in the process of taking. Next year I think I might get a job. I guess I'm okay with that.

Something scary this way comes

2007-10-30T00:04:00.001+08:00

I know that changing continents is as good a reason to update as any, but my slackness was brought to my attention by an about-to-be-married friend (congratulations, kids), and I apologise again for my uselessness in keeping non-Facebookers (boo, hiss) in the massive loop of my life.

Since the Festival finished, I have been languishing in Edinburgh, meeting new friends, relishing the company of old ones, and running into old faces on the street (funny what coincidences an international rugby game creates). A quick trip to Inverness to say goodbye to some folks, a lot of parties, a lot of spending, and a farewell couple of days in London brought me almost to where I am now.

My farewell party started off with bangers and mash, moved through a Sing Star competition, past a broken PSII, onward to the winner (congratulations, Allan of Wales), and through to 3 or 4am with Kath and myself battling it out with Belinda Carlisle, even though nobody else cared any more (we both got knocked out in the third round, which we had trouble dealing with). 6am brought visions of the pub, and Kirsha, Farkins and Bronson accompanied me (or I accompanied them) to the good old Scotsman's Lounge for a few hours. I finally got out of another pub at 1pm, and managed to make my train two hours later. Thanks to everyone who helped me get there!

I finally made it to Chantal's after getting no sleep on the train (I'm so glad I don't get hangovers); thankfully neither of us wanted a late night. Getting my 20+kg backpack up the ladder to the attic where she sleeps wasn't an option either. The next day I managed to meet Simon for (literally) five minutes at Queen's Park tube station. I was going to accompany him to the train but foolishly had left my wallet in my other bag. I don't know if I'm just getting older, or just more retarded. I just had to accept the coffee he bought me and leave him to go to Paddington on his own. Later on, wallet in hand, I found myself at London Zoo, listening to an excellent talk about the rainforest (and getting as much of a tour as my time restraints allowed) by the lovely Ben. Since my comedian friend is useless as ever, I went straight from there to the Victoria and Albert Museum to meet Chantal and Rebecca for the late night Hallowe'en event. We stood in several ridiculously-long queues for things that weren't worth it (how English), drank some overpriced but average wine, marvelled at the lovely rooms, listened to a storyteller, watched some short films and were totally confused by the 'grand finale' (gratuitous nudity, a terribly-acted vampire attack, and no discernible point).

I got from London to Hong Kong via tube, bus, three-hour delay, 11 hour plane ride, and another bus. I'd called the guesthouse I was booked at to tell them I was still coming. They told me it was fine. When I finally got there, I was told that they'd sold my bed, but they were 'kind enough' to let me sleep on a mattress on the floor. In the hallway outside the bathroom. I was tired and had already paid for a week, so was going to accept. I had to wait around for an hour before anything happened, and then found out that he wouldn't refund me if I decided to move out the next day. So I took my money back and left. Luckily, Chungking Mansions are full of guesthouses and the kind of annoying hawkers that I hate. A couple of guesthouses later and I have my own little room with en suite for a few days. It's really what I needed (and though slightly more expensive, a bargain by world standards).

I met up with Rhiannon, her boss, and his business associate for dinner. We had 'traditional' Chinese food (I have never had cheese on anything in a Chinese restaurant before), which was great, and did a little bit of shopping. Tomorrow I'll get on to looking for a more permanent place to stay, and try and make some work contacts. No idea how it'll go, but I'm imagining great things. I think I'll love this city!

I'm really looking forward to spending Hallowe'en here, and am excited (if a little petrified) to be doing something entirely new and scary!

[I have a new phone number. Contact me for it if you don't have it already!]

Wendel McWong's Pick of the Fringe

2007-08-30T13:02:00.001+08:00

It's been another crazy August, culminating in (or spiralling down to) the last nights of the Fringe when I didn't get home before 5.30am.

Some of my highlights have been:

visiting the Phat Cave most nights (technically mornings);
Jamie Kilstein giving standing-ovation-worthy performances;
Harley Breen doing a leotard-clad interpretive dance to 'When Doves Cry' by Prince;
visiting the 1/4 Gill pub for the first time at 6.15am on Monday morning (and leaving at 9 when normal people start work);
seeing a bunch of Aussie drag queens doing the Sound of Music;
spending time in the Spiegel Garden (although not enough), and having our bartender from last year remember me;
cheering for Italy during Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision;
seeing The Black Seeds in The Famous Spiegeltent;
seeing Kirk Fox and (If.comedy Award-winning) Brendon Burns have a 'tache-off;
watching Mickey D strip naked and later snort beer out of another guy's scrotum (is this a high or a lowlight?).

Needless to say, it's been a couple of days of recovery and trying to deal with the waking up pre-noon (although I have yet to do this on two consecutive days since getting back to the UK). My liver will thank me (as will my friends, who don't appreciate my gloating about not getting hangovers).

Now it's back to 'normality' and trying to motivate myself to plan my next move...

I would wait five hundred hours...

2007-07-28T19:06:00.001+08:00

I'm writing from an internet cafe in Aberdeen, waiting for our accommodation to become available. Weirdly (or not), I am the first person here. Some dramas have occurred to Team Edinburgh and they won't be coming up until later.

Meanwhile, I can finally bring myself to describe my partially hellacious (not really) trip through Her Majesty's immigration service.

Leaving Auckland was okay. I didn't get to see a couple of important people, but I had a fabulous family dinner (in honour of my grandmother's 90th birthday) and got to see most of my relatives. A couple of half-arsed going away things allowed me to see a bunch of friends, too, which is always nice.

My dad and brother took me to the airport, and then began the journey. A 11.5 hour flight to Seoul (which involved reading half of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and watching some random rom-com/coming of age movie starring Adam Brody and Meg Ryan), a stay at the Hyatt, and another 11 hour flight to London (no reading, but movies galore: Sione's Wedding, Ghost Rider, Children of Men, Shooter, Because I Said So, Disturbia. I love plane films; I get to see all the movies I kind of wanted to see but didn't want to pay for).

Upon arrival at Heathrow, I got in the surprising short queue and started talking to a grumpyish-looking man. He asked me a LOT of questions. I started to doubt my previously infallible ability to get people to believe anything I say. He eventually 'detained' my passport, and I had to wait for someone else to come and see me. I commenced waiting. After everyone else seemed to have been called, I got a very nice girl who had to check my luggage (I've also since come to the conclusion that people who 'check' luggage never do it very well). She took out some items that she thought might help my case (wedding invitation, certificates, diary). Then I had to drag my backpack back upstairs and wait some more. I was taken in to have a photo, and then an x-ray (?!). Following that, I got checked in to a holding room, where I couldn't take my phone in, or anything besides the cash that was in my handbag. After another long wait, I had my interview. I pretty much had to recount my exact movements since I arrived in the UK in 2001. Might as well have written my memoirs at the same time. Luckily the woman interviewing me was cool and she believed my story and understood why I only had a one-way ticket (the reason they held me in the first place). She just had to convince her boss to believe me too. Back to the holding room. Finally, about 5 hours after I arrived in London, I was allowed out. I've now got a visa in my passport that probably screams 'DODGY', but no matter. I'm back in.

Jasmin and Bodra kindly let me sleep on their couch for two nights, and after a nice dinner with Anna and Ryan and a 12 hour bus ride with all the derelicts of Scotland, I'm in Aberdeen. The ceilidh is tomorrow, and then back down to Edinburgh for more festival madness. I cannae wait!

I'm On My Way (and other Proclaimers songs)

2007-07-24T03:20:00.001+08:00

I'm outta here again. I'll do my best to keep in touch with people, but best intentions sometimes go awry.

Thinking of you all and so excited about impending parties!!!

A few reasons to be happy about today

2007-05-31T19:28:00.001+08:00

It was my sister's birthday today and I got to have Mexican for dinner with her.
I got to see some wicked short films as part of the 48 Hour filmmaking challenge.
I'm only at day 3 of my new job and already they can't bear for me to leave. They also think I'm a database guru cause I've used their software before (and know more than their supposed specialist).
I got the results from my course in the post today. I got the elusive A that hardly anyone gets!
I booked my flight to London for July! I will be at the ceilidh in Aberdeen! I will get to be in Edinburgh for the Festival!

All in all, I'm pretty stoked. Feel free to siphon off some of my elation. I'm too tired to use it anyway.

Nearly there!

2007-05-23T14:22:00.001+08:00

I finished my last assessment today!

Over four weeks I've had to be in classes 9-5 every day, do four written assignments and plan and deliver 9 classes (with a combined time of 6 hours and 10 minutes). I somehow managed to volunteer myself for an extra 80 minutes of unassessed classes too (what a sucker).

In general, I've done pretty damn well (asides from a small glitch in one assignment where I focussed on the wrong thing and had to resubmit some of it - you can imagine how well I took that!), so I've only got to show up for the next two days and hopefully receive my A after Cambridge okays it. It's been just as much stress and work as they promised/forewarned us, and there has been one person drop out (hence my extra lessons) and more than a few tears shed by several of my peers. As always, with such a concentrated time frame and intense experience, we've all gotten to know each other quite well. I'm happy to say that I genuinely like everyone on the course (instead of that fake kind of like), and have really enjoyed doing it. It's so nice to feel like I'm learning something again, and applying myself academically. It's been interesting trying to translate the input into practice in the classroom. It helps that I've really liked most of my students as well.

I've had very little time for the other important things in my life though (family, friends, sleeping, Heroes, Guitar Hero, crochet, laundry, planning my life, booking flights, getting a job, general communication and Crackbook), so I apologise if this has inadvertently or directly affected you. I am much more available now!

In other moments of genius, I created a fabulous new (to me) cocktail upon my return home today. It consists of frozen raspberries muddled with Morgan's Spiced Rum, topped up with Sprite. I've called it 'See You In HELTA' (my course is called CELTA, see what I did there?). It is delicious, and I bet you're jealous.

I am also glad that I now have a legitimate scapegoat for my pedantry regarding the English language. I'm not perfect, but I am judgmental.

I've decided that I definitely can't take my June 6 flight to Hong Kong. I have no money to travel with, and it will be too hot there. I'm going to work for a few more weeks, go to the McDragovic wedding in Melbourne, and then I'm going over to the UK in late July (I haven't booked my flight, but that is my aim) for another summer in Scotland. Hopefully I will be able to find a full-time teaching job starting in September. Wish me luck! Maybe I'll see you soon, if I'm lucky!

Some random notes ...

2007-05-02T19:33:00.001+08:00

JB HiFi has just opened in Auckland! How much do I want to go in there and drop a few hundred dollars on some cheap CDs?!
My first assessed teaching class went really well. Of course I impressed the tutors, but I'm probably irritating my classmates with my incessant questions and general knowing-it-all. A few little things to work on, but I'm feeling really positive. Learning is making me tired (as is staying up really late doing lesson plans), but it's only for a few weeks. The people in my class are cool, as are the students, so ... yay.
I get to see Mickey on Friday!
I am being semi-successful at trying to keep away from Crackbook and email. This means I'm crap at the communication, but it's probably better for my health.
Auckland's public transport system still pretty much sucks.
Crappy uni cafeteria food still tastes exactly as bad as it did 7 years ago.
I still haven't changed my flights. Somebody nominate some Scotland dates for me?!

Gomez

2007-04-20T21:54:00.002+08:00

I just got home from seeing the last gig in a 14 month Gomez tour, and it was completely refulgent (look it up, it's a good word).

The support band was a bit strange and not very good, and then the "special guest" (a late-life Elvis wannabe singing Tom Jones and the Monkees karaoke style) was totally random, not great, but still entertaining. The crowd booed him near the end, which I was disappointed about, since I thought a Gomez crowd would be, well, cooler than that. We danced and sang along with him and yelled out "We want Wayne!" cause it was fun. He was billed as "Mr Wayne Anderson", hilarious.

I don't remember being so completely happy this year. Not even the Peter Maccleganger (seriously, younger, but same hair, glasses, face), the girl who was filming the entire gig on her digital camera (how can you enjoy it when you're trying to hold your camera still? And does anyone else think it's just wrong for someone to do this?) and the tone deaf screamer behind me could spoil the bliss bubble that Gomez produced around me. One of the guitarist/vocalists is a bit of a Luke-alike too, and Luke has never made me unhappy, unless you count when we have to be apart. I haven't been as impressed by vocals since I last saw Harry with the Cat Empire, and since there are three of them, maybe I was more impressed! Multiple instruments (including some kind of keyboard kazoo that I'd never seen before) played by most of the band, a two hour set, a plethora of beautiful songs, huge energy and boundless talent. Perfect.

Afterwards, I managed to score a Gomez-branded guitar pick, which I loved. Past tense because I decided to give it to my sister, as she's a huge fan (which I am now too). I hope she appreciates it. I guess I can still love it from afar!

Quick update

2007-04-15T12:36:00.001+08:00

I've only got two weeks of work left! I'd cut it down to one but I can really use the extra $800. I finally found a replacement, and hopefully she's not going to be too disappointing (although of course that will just elevate me in their memories when I am gone). She starts tomorrow so that means way less slacking for me but I guess I may actually get some work done.

I had my interview for the CELTA course (Cambridge English Language Teaching something) that starts in two weeks. It went really well, although I missed the misspelling of 'environment' in a test, which I was a little gutted about. He didn't seem to care when I proved that I could, indeed, spell it. So I was offered the last place on the course (thankfully, Miss Procrastination didn't miss the boat completely), and I accepted it. It will take an entire month of my time (seriously, they don't let you work part-time, have any hobbies, play sports etc. They also don't recommend it for anyone that has stress-related illness!) and I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's really difficult to get an A pass, so that's what I'm aiming for. Having not been a student for a LONG time, this is going to be interesting.

Oh yeah, the pre-course task document is thirty pages long. Uncool. And because of aforementioned procrastination and late enrolment, I only have two weeks to do this and not the 6+ that everyone else would have had. Bugger.

Anyway, that's what's happening right now. That, a lot of movies and a lot of crochet (yes, I'm obsessed again). If anyone needs a beanie/toque, scarf, MP3 player cover or whatever, let me know and we'll negotiate a deal. I'm developing new designs at the moment so am happy to practise them (the MP3 player covers are awesome).

Official Notice

2007-04-03T12:26:00.001+08:00

Congratulations are in order:

Maury (my beloved Corona) and I have recently produced a healthy baby speeding ticket, weighing in at $80.00 and 14km over the limit.

It is my first, after 10 years of trying, so I guess my time had come. The only annoying thing is that now I have to get off my high horse. I really enjoyed harassing my family about their infringements!

Hangovers, hot pools and humiliation

2007-03-26T12:55:00.001+08:00

Well after writing the rather verbose last post (just to make Carol feel better, honest), hopefully this one will be a bit shorter ...

I left work at 3.45 on Monday to pick Colleen up at the airport. I was a bit worried that she had gotten her 24 hour time wrong again (those who know her know this happens with alarming frequency for someone who travels as much as she does). I was also worried that she was repeating the whole drug scandal of Dunedin 2005, but it turned out that due to some unforeseen accident (not to do with the plane), Coll's whole plane was late.

Luckily we still had enough time to drive through the suburbs and make it to Rick's for a couple of deadly mojitos with him and Bjorn. Lior started in The Famous Spiegeltent at 7pm, and Ben wasn't really that late. Unfortunately Lior only played for about an hour, but Rick and Coll met him afterwards and probably scared him into playing longer sets in the future.

Cue some random wandering and drinking around downtown Auckland, hassling some poor one man covers band, playing some pool and taking lots of photos on Coll's miraculously returned camera (Rick posted a couple, I'm sure more will follow).

Enticed by promises of fun times with Rick and Coll the next day, I decided to pull a sickie. Funnily enough, I woke up at 5am feeling really nauseous and I totally blame Rick and Bjorn. May also have something to do with not eating or drinking any water. Anyway ...

The next day was chock full of an awesome breakfast, a drive up Mt Eden, a cruise along the waterfront, a visit to the artisan patisserie in Matakana, an astounded look at the beautiful fish at Goat Island (almost teeming, right by the shoreline), a stroll along the desolate beach at Pakiri, a drink at the pub in Kaukapakapa, a swim at the thermal pools at Parakai (swimming pools this time, not streams), fish and chips from our local chippy and complete and utter humiliation at the trivia night at the local. This was especially bad after I had promised Ben that I was smarter than Paul (which I stand by). I will give that Paul probably would have done slightly better at this quiz, it seemed like everything was pretty much aimed at middle aged beer drinking men ... not my forte! We didn't come last, but got something like 48 points when the winners got nearly 100. And in a round where there was a 50/50 chance of getting it right, we got 2 out of 10! Ouch. Anyone who did quizzes with me at The Globe should be rightfully shocked and appalled ...

I got to work the next day and realised that nobody had been in my office at all the previous day, and I totally could have pulled off a giant scam and pretended I was there the whole time ... oh well ... damn conscience ...

The Waikato and Bay of Plenty Highlight Tour

2007-03-26T12:20:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure why but I had a desperate need to get out of Auckland for the last weekend of the summer (last Wednesday was the Autumn Equinox and we finished Daylight Savings on the Sunday morning). So despite the dodgy weather (correctly) predicted, Michelle and I decided to head down to Rotorua in search of natural hot springs and general out-of-Auckland entertainment.

We somehow managed to get on the road by about 8.30 on Saturday morning (w00t), and our first stop was Cambridge at about 10am . Intrigued by the sign advertising the "Leamington School Duck Plunge", we pulled in to the tourist information centre to ask for directions. The Duck Plunge was on the events blackboard, but when asked where the school was, the woman behind the desk replied "which school?". Firstly, how many schools can such a small town have? Secondly, why would we want to go to any other school when there was a Duck Plunge on? During breakfast we pondered several scenarios that could be termed Duck Plunges, but still had no clue what it would involve. Even better, the poster used inverted commas perfectly when it advertised a "Celebrity" Duck Plunge and entertainment from a top ten finalist in some series of New Zealand Idol (heh).

When we got to the school, we found out that the Duck Plunge wasn't happening until 1.45. Since there was no way we'd miss it, we decided to wander around and look at the entertainment – karaoke, mini jeeps, whatever you call hitting golf balls into upturned umbrellas, bouncy castle and wobbly train. We also visited a local garage sale (nothing much there but I got an awesome old school teal leather suitcase for a dollar, and Michelle was very tempted by a $12 electric typewriter) and went shopping at the few clothes shops in town.

When we got back to the school after ogling a really shiny really red Ford, there was a mob of people surrounding the fenced swimming pools. One large pool, one small pool, some PTA women, an old man with a pool skimmer, a rather hot (looking) rugby player and a LOT of ducks. Rubber ducks. Actually, plastic ducks.

For the grand purpose of a raffle drawing, poor (but beautiful) Liam Messam was forced to Plunge into the pools of Ducks (get it now?), drawing one from each pool to make up the winning ticket number. There were several draws, each with a longwinded prize description, leaving Liam freezing in the pool with nothing but ducks to protect him from the gaze of a hundred primary school kids' mums.

We didn't win anything.

Fast forward (sigh of relief) to us driving down the road to the hot springs recommended by my sister. Prior to that we had not been able to find the key to my friend's empty house (it wasn't "in the shed" as he'd said), looked at some very bubbling mud pools, gone to some garage sales and found a little cabin at a campground in Rotorua. It wasn't until we were half an hour down the wrong State Highway that we realised that my sister had given us perfect directions asides from the correct highway number. We decided to go to Taupo for dinner instead of driving all the way back, then all the way down another road to flounder around in the darkness.

After trying to find the least St Patricksy place in town, the highlight of the lakeside dinner ended up being (drumroll please) - a bearded midget, dressed as a leprechaun, running. That's right. Midget. Beard. Leprechaun. Running. He ran past several times, then got into a car and drove away. It was awesome. Michelle also went to the supermarket wearing her dressing gown as a coat. Also awesome.

The next day we managed to make it to the swimming hole, a perfect little spot where a steaming hot stream and a colder river meet. Such an amazing feeling and so nice to be able to move around and find the perfect temperature. There was an old woman so ancient that she looked like a female ET in a matching mint green bikini and swim cap, complete with full mud mask. I was a little startled when I turned around and she was just floating in the water behind me. I became increasingly fascinated with her though, especially when she started doing t'ai chi in the river, and when she scolded and muttered at an obnoxious English woman who somehow thought it would be okay to use shampoo in the stream and that it would be okay for her husband to swim in white underwear (I won't get started or I will get angry all over again)!

The final highlight was totally beating a very frustrated Michelle at the 3D Maze (34 minutes, winner!) and meeting the grumpy old man that runs it. We were having a chat and he completely berated this kid for cheating, it was great. I don't think the kid really got the point, but the fact that Grumpy's response to "My granddad told me to crawl under the walls," was "Bollocks!" made it possibly the best $6 I think I spent that weekend.

April 19 - put it in your diary

2007-03-21T08:28:00.001+08:00

I think it should be International High Five Day, but nevermind. But then again, the very nature of the High Five is that it's so America, and it's also so American to neglect to involve the rest of the world, officially. I think we should tag along on this one anyway!!

http://www.nationalhighfiveday.com/

Random thoughts of the day

2007-03-21T06:11:00.001+08:00

Facebook is starting to scare me, for real.
"Are you on, like, crystal meth or something? Cause this is really cracky behaviour." I love Zach from Heroes and think "cracky behaviour" should be used more as a turn of phrase.
I don't know if I should, but I think Simon Pegg is hott. And I am really excited about Hot Fuzz!
I don't get anything productive done when I know I'm unsupervised.
It hurts my back less when I know there's not going to be anyone looking over my shoulder.
There are a lot of movies coming up that I want to see (and before anyone comments, these are coming up in NZ, even though they have maybe been out forever in the rest of the civilised world): Ghostrider (haha, seriously?), Black Sheep, 300 (IMAX!), Shooter, Pirates of the Caribbean 3 (as long as it's not longer than the second one!), Shrek 3, Spiderman 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, the Transformers movie! What's up with all the trilogies and comic book movies? Do I not want to see anything serious? Or are there no serious movies coming out this year?
Wild Hogs. What the hell?!
I really should have remembered that my whole department was out of the office yesterday before I called in sick.

Scotland Photos

2007-03-14T06:53:00.001+08:00

I've been meaning to post links to my photos from last Autumn but it was so much effort uploading them that I never got around to it. So finally, here they are!

Scotland Autumn 2006 - Knockengorroch, Pirate Party, Toga Party, Letter Party, Skye, Hallowe'en.

Edinburgh November 2006 - Guy Fawkes, Quiz Nights, Farkins' Last Pub Crawl, Christmas Lights, Ceilidh, Box Wars Party, Wendy's Leaving Drinks.

You still have to sign in to see them. Sorry!

I've linked these in my sidebar, and have also put a link to my Farcebook page in there as well.

Hooray for being (slightly more) up to date!

Sidebar Updates

2007-03-14T05:53:00.001+08:00

I realised the other day that somehow I don't have a link to Michelle's Travelpod on my page. As we're like, BFFs and all, it was weird. Like, OMG.

So I did a mini update on my sidebar and have added links to the following pages:

Michelle Bond - globetrotter, information management specialist, future international pyrotechnics consultant.

Carol Humber - Self-confessed geek extraordinaire!

Updated: Kathleen Broderick (soon to be Rogers) - USA Breast Cancer Research Fundraiser.

Kiwi FM - All Kiwi, all the time.

[Although the intentions are true, all acronyms in this post are said in a most sarcastic tone - although pronounced in a very accurate Valley Girl accent]

Karma better get 'em

2007-03-13T18:21:00.001+08:00

Those damn food colouring addicts.

Somebody stole my Irn Bru out of the fridge at work today! And a box of liquid breakfast (eww, but it's neater than eating cornflakes in the car on the way to work) as well.

I don't care so much about the Up and Go, but seriously, who would take my Irn Bru? I had to go and buy that specially (I found a supplier of Irn Bru, Jaffa Cakes, and lots of other not necessarily orange British foods!), and was saving it for the inevitable day when coffee was just not enough.

The one Scottish guy I like thought I'd finally stopped teasing him and drunk it myself. So unless he's a really good liar, he's clear. That leaves ... several other Scots. As I don't figure anyone else would know what it was and/or want it.

The principle is important too I guess. I thought I had left the stolen food issue along with the communal living ...

Wendy does not like Flixster!

2007-03-12T04:39:00.001+08:00

And you can tell it's serious because the title is in the third person!

Recently I foolishly registered for flixster.com (don't do it!) as a bit of a timewaster and although I thought I was careful enough to uncheck all my email addresses before completing the registration, it still sent out invites to everyone in my address book, which included a fair amount of business addresses and other one-time email addresses that GMail had stored automatically for me (one of the few features I don't really approve of).

Naturally when I realised this, I was fairly mortified. Probably not a big deal for most people, but the fact that I'd bothered up to 500 people with something I didn't even write myself is pretty significant! So of course I wrote something myself to apologise for the faux pas and sent it on to those same people.

A week later, however, lo and behold they have sent another email, pretending that it was from me and that I said it was okay in the first place. This is not the case! So I have completely deregistered and do not endorse them in any way.

Grrrrr.

I love the Famous Spiegeltent!

2007-03-10T23:30:00.001+08:00

I just got home from dancing the night away in the newly erected Spiegeltent in downtown Auckland!

As if I couldn't love it any more than I already did (last times I was there were for La Clique and The Peatbog Faeries in Edinburgh), tonight it confirmed that that's possible.

I got in touch with Rick to tell him that Club Spiegel was on tonight and he happily came down to join in the groovin'.

I thought THAT was great (and also there was a rather cute bartender on tonight), and then I turn around and who should be standing there but Janine, one of the girls currently residing at High Street. She's only here for a week and we run into each other.

I LOVE THE SPIEGELTENT! Where else could I feel like I was back in Edinburgh when I am on the other side of the world?

Too much excitement, not enough money!

2007-03-08T08:58:00.001+08:00

Dylan Moran is coming for the Auckland Comedy Festival!

Ed Byrne too. And Ardal O'Hanlon!

Why so many good acts? Why are they all Irish? Why don't I have enough money?

Long road ahead. Again.

2007-03-07T17:58:00.001+08:00

So I really like the fact that you can actually tag people's faces in the photos on Crackbook. That's great. What's really annoying is that I have so many photos which need to be re-uploaded onto a different site.

Also, I have so many that today's short attention span children will probably get distracted before they find the ones that they're interested in...

Le sigh.

Let's hope this one's not run by L. Ron Hubbard

2007-03-07T05:35:00.001+08:00

I've conceded defeat and joined up with Facebook (henceforth known as Crackbook or otherwise, since I'm sure I will begrudgingly end up being as addicted as everyone else is).

I've decided to ignore the cognitive dissonance for now. My innate aversion to these sorts of corporatised internet popularity contests has given way to my desperate need to increase contact with my hundreds of now essentially virtual (remote) friends and my desire to streamline and consolidate my online presence.

I'm encouraged by the fact that I can directly import my weblog by RSS feed so I don't need to change so much. I'm still undecided about the status of my millions of photos …

For anyone that I have met through that den of iniquity in Edinburgh, join up the HSH group and we will be home again (if you're not still there!).

What's Going on in Auckland, Wendel?

2007-03-02T05:27:00.001+08:00

So I know a lot of people find it difficult to keep up with the play on all the exciting things going on around Auckland at the moment (and this is said without a hint of sarcasm, honestly), so here are the things that I know of and can recommend in the next month or so. I will definitely be at most if not all of them, so get in touch if you need a buhdee to hang out with!

Now til 10 March

Summer Shakespeare

Auckland University is presenting a modern take on The Merchant of Venice. 7.30pm-9.30pm every night near the Old Arts Building until March 10. I'm going on Tuesday!

http://www.maidment.auckland.ac.nz Tickets $27/$18 conc.

2 March

Shapeshifter and Friends

Shapeshifter, Hollie Smith,Concord Dawn, Opensouls, State of Mind, dDUB, Pacific, Bass Culture, Timmy Schumacher + more to be added. St James, $49.90/$25.00 concession.

Still thinking about it but I have already spent so much money this week ...

http://www.nzlive.com/en/nzlivecom/ausm-orientation-2007-shapeshifter-and-guests

2 - 4 March

Lantern Festival

The end of the Chinese New Year celebrations - food, lights, shopping and martial arts, what more could you want?! Also, it's free! 5.30pm - 10pm, Albert Park, city. Fireworks on Sunday at 10pm . I'll be there!

http://www.aucklandcity.govt.nz/whatson/events/lantern/default.asp

3 March

Carnival Against Carmageddon

Reclaiming K Rd beetween Queen St to Pitt St from 3pm onwards!

There will be a countdown at 3pm and run out onto the street like
crazy people and stall holders and stuff can set up once we've
"reclaimed the street". Stalls will be down the Queen St
end of the block, outside Paper Bag Princess/Whitcoulls end. Verona
will have DJs from 3pm and we are having a flat bed
truck at the other end (Little Turkish Cafe) with the bands on it.
Somewhere in the middle of the street we're gonna have two tonnes of
snow dumped in a pile and have sled comps and a person dressed as a
polar bear. Fun.

Bands playing include: Collapsing Cities, The
DHDFD's, Phony Bone, Teenwolf and Tegan.

http://www.climaction.org.nz

3 March

Shore Sounds Rockfest

Not sure I'll make it to this since they will have snow in town! But if you wanna have some fun on the dirty dirty shore, it sounds like it'll be rocking! The Bleeders, Steriogram, 48May, Quarter 2, Kingston, Sons of Solomon, Shore Syndicate, Tourist, Where's Gary's Duvet? and The Rabble.

http://www.nscc.govt.nz/city_life/Shore-sounds-05/March-concerts.htm

If you're into the punk/ska scene, remember there's NOFX, MXPX, Reel Big Fish and loads loads more on in the next few weeks!

9 - 25 March

AK07 - Auckland Festival 2007

Opening fireworks on Saturday 10 March at the Domain from 7.30pm. Loads and loads of events happening around the city, especially near Red Square at Britomart. I can personally recommend The Famous Spiegeltent, which must be seen - for a show, a drink or just a walk through (I love it) and also La Clique, perfect as a Cirque du Soleil style circus with a more intimate and sometimes funny style.

http://www.aucklandfestival.co.nz/

4 May

Crunchie Comedy Gala Opening

The opening night of the Crunchie Comedy Fest. Star-studded, red carpet, flashy and hilarious. Hosted by Ardal O'Hanlon (Father Dougal from Father Ted) and featuring a truckload of great comedy including Ed Byrne (Ireland) and my actual friend Mickey D (Australia). Tickets $60-65.

http://www.comedyfestival.co.nz/

That's all I have time for for now, but enjoy the last of the summer!

Hi ho, hi ho

2007-01-22T18:49:00.001+08:00

Work, that is, not visiting a red light district. And definitely not working in a red light district!

I had my first 8 (and a quarter!) hour day today since September 2005. That's right.

Supposedly the guys I'm working for are difficult and demanding and the job requires me to be "really switched on". Oh yeah, the cutting and pasting is killing me. Also, my combination of extremely high tolerance and having dealt with some very high maintenance people means I kinda like these guys and don't foresee myself having any problems.

It's only for two weeks and it's really far away (it's nearly out of Auckland!), but the pay is really good so I will suck it up and do the driving.

5 days til my birthday!

Oh yeah, Happy 2007 ... !!! It's gonna be a good one.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T15:33:00.001+08:00

Well I was awake for midnight in New Zealand, all the Aussie time zones, all through Asia, part of Europe, the UK and all the Americas.

I had a quiet new years with friends on the beach with a bonfire. It was quiet, chilly and entirely lovely. I got to commiserate with another sad person who was not at Rockin' Rockies New Year this year. We talked all night and watched the sun rise from the top of Mt Eden. Met some great randoms and realised what a crazy amount of trees there are in Auckland.

Why was the Edinburgh street party cancelled?

I've had 7 hours of sleep in the last 50 hours. I think I'll go to bed soon.

2006 Recap

2006-12-28T18:26:00.000+08:00

[Insert more lame apologies about being a slacker here]

I guess I can use surprising my family and friends at home as a good excuse for not keeping this up to date. Of course they all knew I was leaving Edinburgh and going to Hong Kong but nevermind. It's been a hectic few months and I worked and partied myself silly in Edinburgh before I left. No excuses but a healthy social life and lack of motivation and/or time for writing.

Congratulations to my cousin and her husband on having another healthy girl. She was born on her grandfather's birthday, which happens to be Christmas as well. Poor kid will have a future full of slashie presents (Christmas-slash-birthday). I know the feeling.

This is an excerpt from the Christmas email I did this year, so you may have read it already. It will probably be my last post for the year. At time of writing I didn't realise 2006 was quite as crappy for some people as it was, so here's cheers to 2007.

[ ... it's been a year of travel, experience, challenge and emotional ups and downs. I've been literally and figuratively all over the place, but it has been a great year all in all.

For the first time that I can remember, it was really hard to leave home to flit away overseas. I had made some very close friends last year and actually felt comfortable being at home for a little over a year. I had to miss my grandmother's funeral to go to China and Hong Kong, where I found some closure upon meeting her family that I didn't even know existed until last year.

I had some bad moments in Thailand (the most trivial of all being having to ride a night bus on my birthday), but these were more than balanced out by some amazing times around Thailand, Cambodia and Laos (thanks so much everyone I was there with).

From there I spent a little while in the UK - saw snow settle in Edinburgh, experienced the Norfolk seaside and the Welsh - before heading out to Turkey for the total solar eclipse. Some spectacular scenery, great company (old and new friends), six days of psy trance and a rare and amazing natural phenomenon later, I found myself living in a small town in central Turkey. The culture was fascinating from the inside, although sometimes challenging and occasionally I found myself really quite lonely. I did meet some excellent people though and they made the time go by quickly with great company and a lot of food! I saw more of the country to the east and thoroughly loved it. Two months later I was winging my way back to the UK with a planeload of English white trash (remind me not to fly the lowest budget airlines anymore!).

After the most awful immigration interrogation I've ever experienced (who wouldn't trust my face? Honestly!) I paid another visit to Wales and spent a bit of time in the Lake District before heading up to Edinburgh for yet another amazing summer and my best festival so far. I worked in a venue bar which allowed me to see as many free shows as I could fit into my schedule, socialised a lot and barely saw my very understanding and wonderful flatmates and their cats. I was also really happy to have friends come up and visit me several times, which is unusual but I so loved showing people around the city I love so much.

I moved back into High Street and worked on reception as well as doing a stint as (dun dun dun) Head Cleaner, which I never thought I'd do, but it came with its perks. I felt like I was more involved with everything there this time, and met pretty much everyone that came through. As always, but especially this time, a fantastic little tribe of people were gathered there, and leaving them was the hardest it's ever been. I am still wishing I could be there.

Meanwhile, I flew back to Auckland via Hong Kong and surprised my mum. That was nice. I've been home for a couple of weeks and my time has been split between catching up with family and friends, and doing family-related trips up to the Bay of Islands and down to Taranaki (both beautiful)... ]

Here's to a possibly more structured but always as fun 2007 ...

I'm so behind on everything

2006-11-13T09:05:00.000+08:00

With no excuses except for greater responsibility, more work and more socialising.

I'm behind on my blog, my emails, my crochet and organising my life.

I need to write another to do list ...

On the upside, I went to a place last night where the cocktails cost more than the wicked cool shoes I'm currently wearing (cocktails = £7.50- 9.50, shoes = £7.49) and then my lovely friends paid cause they know I'm waay below the poverty line ... Thanks T and Warren!

This never happens to me!

2006-11-05T02:09:00.000+08:00

Through a combination of poverty and bad planning, I went over my overdraft limit by £3.30.

Through trying to rectify this, spending more money and then rectifying that, I managed to be charged not only the interest on the overdraft (fair enough), but three charges of £28.00 each!

What the hell?!

How much money is that back where I made the money?

I don't even like to think about it ...

And

2006-11-02T10:50:00.000+08:00

Also, my new room to be is haunted.

And my roommate has the pox (fowl kind).

I haven't had them.

Or ghosts.

Aaargh.

Yo yo yo it's Movember!

2006-11-02T10:13:00.000+08:00

In case you've had your head stuck in the sand in recent weeks, you may not know that Movember has officially started.

It's a fantastic fundraiser for men's health - prostate cancer research and men's depression awareness.

So guys - shave your faces and register with the website, collect donations and grow the best mo you can folliculate (is that a word?).

Girls - support your Mo Bros!

And everyone donate something, it's a good cause!

http://www.movember.com

If you're lacking in mo's to sponsor - try the Aussie team 2290 - a bunch of engineering students in Melbourne!

Costume Karma

2006-11-02T10:01:00.000+08:00

Has anyone ever noticed how Asian (generic, not specific) tourists are everywhere, yet none of them seem to die in western zombie films?

I noticed.

Hence, I dressed in drab but cute clothes, straightened my hair, carried a guidebook, slung a camera around my neck, rustled a lot of plastic bags, wore socks and jandals (aka flip flops) and did peace signs a lot for photos. And had a bloody head wound and death makeup, of course.

It was all fun and games and everyone thought my outfit was hilarious. Until I noticed the small Asian (Chinese, but we'll stick with the generic term) girl with the scarf over her head staring at me. She didn't stop for ages. I mostly avoided eye contact, it was extremely uncomfortable. She was drinking the sangria and was apparently nice, but I was totally unnerved. Then she started playing Jenga by herself in the middle of a hectic party. I had my suspicions that she was more Asian than even I was pretending to be.

Later on we went to the pub for ScaryOke and she came along. It was only then that I realised that she was wearing white Wilson tennis socks with pink and clear plastic slides with octopi on them.

Totally out-Asianed. Gutted.

Ghosties and ghoulies

2006-11-02T09:38:00.000+08:00

I took a few minutes out at midnight on All Hallow's Eve as I always do to commune a little with the general world around me. Unlike last year where I got to see stars forever in the outback desert, I was amongst the dodgy schemies on the dirty streets of Edinburgh. At least I was alone and could still see the sky.

I love this place though, and I love these people. I went through some old photos here and reclaimed all the ones that belong to me. Ahh, the memories.

In other news, the interview for the job fell through, I am permanently busy at the hostel with work and with crochet - I am currently occupied with outfitting Edinburgh with my designs. Success!

Oh yeah, that was my point ...

2006-10-15T20:08:00.000+08:00

I've actually motivated myself enough to apply for a job ...

So fingers crossed I hear back from them this week and can go back down to London for an interview ...

Off the radar

2006-10-15T20:04:00.000+08:00

A million apologies yet again for not keeping anything up to date on here. I managed to write a daily journal all year (asides from two excruciatingly uneventful weeks in Turkey), but haven't managed to do it for the last couple of weeks I've been so busy.

I've been working flat out (like a lizard drinking) at the hostel which included having to go to London to do some PR type work (my first expense paid trip ever, woohoo) for a few days last week. I've also had a couple of days up on the Isle of Skye with some friends from home and the huge responsibility of being "in charge" at the hostel.

I've also totally upped my nerd status by relearning how to crochet. I used to do it when I was little, but only involved boring things that my mum started and finished for me. I was inspired by one of the girls making a baby blanket for her nephew-to-be and got her to show me a few tricks before she left. Since then I've basically learned to read patterns on my own and am scarily addicted to handicrafts. It's also becoming somewhat of a sideline income for me and people are seriously going to give me money for hats with their names on them. It all started as a joke - my friend wanted a hat with WENDY on it, but me thinking this was too scary made him one with his own name on it. I thought it'd make him look "special", but apparently this is the new geek chic item and everyone wants one. I have a backlog of about 8 hats to make now ... photos to come soon (internet shopping anyone?). I now need to employ some cheap overseas labour, but as a friend pointed out, I AM the cheap overseas labour. Le sigh.

Avast ye scurvy bilge rats!

2006-09-19T10:26:00.000+08:00

Aye, it be that day yet again - International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

So hoist the mizzen and scuttle some limey curs. If ye have nae idea what to say to your landlubbin' mates, try here.

We be havin' a pirate party for the occasion, and to bid farewell to our resident cap'n from PEI.

Yo ho ho and a bottle (or two) of rum!

We should be dancing, yeah

2006-09-15T19:45:00.000+08:00

I'm going away for the weekend, hooray! Knockengorroch for a celtic blues/roots/dance festival. It involves camping but the sun is shining after yesterdays constant downpour so I am feeling positive about putting my tent up in the swamp. Yeah.

I am really looking forward to dancing around in the mud in my new Croc gumboots, which after a saga of epic proportions (I have been waiting for the correct shoes/size/matching pair to arrive since July) have finally arrived, an hour before departure. Yay!

Also, I have been a little negligent with my sending of greetings (and also been a little more than poor), so Happy Father's Day to my dad and Happy Birthday to my brother, cousin and mum. And Happy Birthdays to all my friends with birthdays in September. You know who you are, you probably got a text message. Woohoo.

Finally, sorry for all the exclamatories following my sentences. W00t.

High Street Hostel / Home Sweet Home

2006-09-10T02:42:00.000+08:00

After a couple of months of insanity I decided that my long-suffering, extremely generous flatmates could stand to have their place back to themselves so they could finish creating a home. It coincided well with a chat to the manager of my old hostel (who needed a receptionist) and also visitors to the flat who I was going to move out for for logistical reasons.

Now I'm all moved back in to the hostel, in my old room (one of anyway), working hard at changing beds again, about to start on reception and it feels like I never left (also helped by the fact that I already spent a considerable amount of time here during the last two months). So much so that people were surprised to hear that I was moving back in - "Where did you go?".

Err, contrary to popular belief, I haven't lived here for the past two years.

"Oh ..."

The Fat Lady is Singing

2006-09-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

It really is going to be virtually impossible for me to completely catch up on the goings on of what has been the absolute best festival season of my four festival run. I've only just caught up with my personal notes (and that took me half a day), and am not even close to finishing processing it all in my head.

I've met so many people, seen so many different shows, experienced the epitome of randomness, witnessed nearly every sunrise and virtually not seen my very understanding flatmates for three weeks.

Anyone who has ever done an intense season of performance in a show or play may have an idea of the flat feeling when it's all over. All the work, preparation and thrill of an audience is gone. For me, obviously it wasn't a performance, but I did watch as many of them as I could. Free entry to shows, discounted drinking until 5am and friends to share it all with led to average bedtimes of 6.30am. For three weeks I had somewhere to be almost every day, and if I didn't there were always options. Waiting for pubs to open again at 6am wasn't unusual either.

Thursday was the first night I didn't need to be anywhere. It was a strange feeling. Although having had two hours of sleep each on the previous two nights, I ended up asleep by the late afternoon and up again around 4am. The last three nights I've been in bed before midnight and actually awake in the mornings. I cooked a proper meal yesterday. The normality (state endorsed normality that is, not my own) is freaking me out a little.

The closing fireworks are tonight, weather permitting, and hopefully by then I'll be coming to some sort of closure. The feeling that I might never experience anything like this again is a little sobering.

But I have been promised work if I'm back again next year...

Back pouring pints for the public

2006-07-30T11:43:00.000+08:00

I just got home from my first shift at my new bar job. It went really smoothly and everyone there is loverly. It was a smallish function, 50th birthday party, so perfect to ease me in.

Naturally, they love me, and the assistant manager is stressing about trying to find hours to give me so they can keep me around.

I'm pretty happy with whatever though, the handful of money I got tonight was almost what I got paid to do the whole website for the restaurant. And at the moment that feels like a fortune!

Blip eliminated

2006-07-28T10:11:00.000+08:00

I rearranged the posts below and added in Episode 4 and Episode 10 for your reading pleasure. Of course all the time stamps are wrong now, but they all should have read "too late" anyway.

I haven't written any more just yet.

On the plus side, I've found a great fringe venue that is employing me as a bar wench for the festival, so that will happily combine earning some pocket money with staying up ridiculously late and maybe even getting to watch some free shows. Hoorah.

Also, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, yay!

Commercial Break

2006-07-28T10:04:00.000+08:00

Enjoy your cup of tea or coffee.

We will return soon with your regularly scheduled program.

Sponsored by ... nobody. But very open to offers!

Episode 10: In which she is not from Japon

2006-07-28T10:03:00.000+08:00

Location: Everywhere!
Date: All the time!

Apparently it is perfectly acceptable for Turkish men (we didn't see that many women) to just randomly say "Japon! Japonya!" as a greeting, in passing, as a general statement.

Neither Ineke or I tended to respond to the comments, but they were noted every time.

I wish I had been able to say "Kurd! Armenia!" but I'm just not that rude.

FYI: I'm Chinese. Or Kiwi. Both, actually. Not Japanese. Also, I love Japanese people. I think they're awesome. I'm just not one of them.

Episode 9: In which there is no (dam) road

2006-07-28T10:02:00.001+08:00

Location: Atatürk Lake
Date: 25.05.06

We were told by the guy who rented us the car that there was a bridge across Atatürk Lake, the huge man-made-money-spinning body of water that lay in our path.

There is no bridge.

None.

Luckily the mechanic who we had to take the car to gave us directions and general information about the ferry we needed to take instead. Apparently the road or bridge had disappeared with the creation of the dam (and the) lake.

While we were waiting for the very helpful mechanics to check over the car (something wrong with the the gas intake valve), I noted the slightly pimp maroon curtains all the way around the black towncar that was parked in the driveway next to our little Mermet.

After they charged us a miniscule 20YTL (approximately 20AUD (the NZD is too unstable) or 8GBP) for the adjustment and oil top-up, we were on our way. We weren't sure of the way at a fork in the road - the map wasn't helpful and we didn't know which town we were aiming for anyway - so we stopped to ask an old man squatting by the side of the road (this is a reasonably common occurrence). He had no idea what we were talking about, even though Turkish for ferry is feribot, not that hard to understand for either party.

So we picked a road and crossed our fingers.

A few hundred metres down the road, we noticed a car coming up behind us, fast. Thinking it was just another crazy Turkish driver, we pulled over a bit to let them go by. It turned out to be the curtained black towncar from the mechanic's, being driven by the mechanic himself. He told us we were going in totally the wrong direction, so we did a u-turn and made the ferry on time.

We passed back through the intersection where we made the wrong turn, and wouldn't you know - the old man was squatting just metres from the sign that said "Feribot"!

Episode 8: In which she refuses a "taxi"

2006-07-28T10:02:00.000+08:00

Location: Mt Nemrut
Date: 25.05.06

After an ordinary dinner, we headed to bed. We were feeling ambitious enough, or masochistic enough, to try and be up for the sunrise. This required us to leave at 4am. Huzzah.

The gossamer-thin air burned the back of my throat more harshly than it had done the night before, and I thought something would burst before I got to the summit. Meanwhile the sun was climbing faster than I was.

At exactly the instant I wanted to collapse in a heap, a man appeared in front of me leading a donkey.

"Taxi?"

It was tempting, believe me. But a misguided sense of ego and the backpacker instinct to spend as little as possible combined forces and made me say no.

The man didn't move. Neither did the "taxi". He asked again. I still said no. Damn.

The sunrise was entirely worth the effort, thankfully. The crowd was different to the previous evening, a lot more Turks than foreigners, and mercifully there was no inane cheering.

Episode 7: In which they are misled about breakfast

2006-07-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

Location: Karadut
Date: 24.05.06

On our return we had a very slightly heated discussion with one of the proprietors about rates, discounts, meals and other things. We were all tired and what he was asking seemed a little pricey. It did include ensuite rooms, dinner and the "best breakfast in Turkey" though.

We asked whether it was just a Turkish breakfast, which he denied it was.

When we inquired as to what it was then, he said "olives, cheese, cucumber, egg, tomato, bread".

So it was exactly a Turkish breakfast (yes, this is what I ate every day when I managed to be up in time for it). He then insisted that it was still better than all other Turkish breakfasts.

We accepted anyway. They had rescued us after all.

Episode 6: In which they visit the tomb of a god

2006-07-28T10:00:00.000+08:00

Location: Karadut and Mt Nemrut
Date: 24.05.06

As the crippled car pulled into the guesthouse carpark, we were told if we wanted to go up to the summit to watch the sunset, we would not only have to pay what seemed like a lot of money, but we would also have to leave immediately.

We had enough time to throw some warm clothes into the back of the SUV and scramble in. This seemed ridiculous when the temperature was still in the thirties, but more than one person had assured us it would get cold as soon as we neared the top of the mountain.

The summit carpark was 12 kilometres away. After the first four or five, the driver started operating entirely in first and second gear. The huge truck was shuddering over the rough stone-paved road. I admitted that the car breaking down may have been a blessing in disguise – this road would have been impassable had we tried ourselves. And then we would have been stuck part way up a very steep mountain.

A 600 metre uphill trek awaited us as we got out of the truck, bundled up in anticipation of the cold that didn't disappoint. I convinced myself that it was the altitude and the painfully cold air in my lungs that was making every step such an effort. It seemed to take me a very long time to reach the eastern terrace to join the others, and meanwhile the sun was ever on its downward journey towards the horizon.

We had come up the eastern side, the total lack of other tourists justifying what was initially a doubtful decision. King Antiochus I had created a burial mound for himself on a scale as massive as his own ego. The top of the tallest and most impressive mountain was lopped off at his whim and replaced by the pyramid that serves as a backdrop for the 10 metre tall statues he installed on the east and west sides. Antiochus considered himself not just the king, but also a god. His statues were as tall and impressive as their comrades – Apollo, Zeus and Hercules. Huge eagles and lions also looked out at the vistas surrounding Mt Nemrut, guarding his last resting place.

These days the heads have all toppled down, and sit in front of the partially rebuilt bodies. The view extended through the clear dusk air all the way to the horizon, huge Atatürk Lake snaking around the fields and reflecting the orange light. We enjoyed the quietude on the eastern side before joining the throngs on the west.

There was a decided lack of clouds in the sky, which made for a pretty but unexciting sunset. The light reflecting off the statues was beautiful though, of course leading me to take far too many photos. The applause of the tourists was entirely inappropriate and unnecessary, but I try to ignore mass hysteria in all its guises. They disappeared almost immediately afterwards, which left me with that weird feeling that I get when I am the only person in the theatre that insists on staying until the movie credits finish rolling. A combination of "why are they leaving?", "should I be leaving?" and "hehe, I get the place to myself now" (and also that sense of smug satisfaction when there IS something else to be seen).

It's quite hard to be smug when you're cold though. Strange.