Something scary this way comes

I know that changing continents is as good a reason to update as any, but my slackness was brought to my attention by an about-to-be-married friend (congratulations, kids), and I apologise again for my uselessness in keeping non-Facebookers (boo, hiss) in the massive loop of my life.

Since the Festival finished, I have been languishing in Edinburgh, meeting new friends, relishing the company of old ones, and running into old faces on the street (funny what coincidences an international rugby game creates).  A quick trip to Inverness to say goodbye to some folks, a lot of parties, a lot of spending, and a farewell couple of days in London brought me almost to where I am now. 

My farewell party started off with bangers and mash, moved through a Sing Star competition, past a broken PSII, onward to the winner (congratulations, Allan of Wales), and through to 3 or 4am with Kath and myself battling it out with Belinda Carlisle, even though nobody else cared any more (we both got knocked out in the third round, which we had trouble dealing with).  6am brought visions of the pub, and Kirsha, Farkins and Bronson accompanied me (or I accompanied them) to the good old Scotsman's Lounge for a few hours.  I finally got out of another pub at 1pm, and managed to make my train two hours later.  Thanks to everyone who helped me get there!

I finally made it to Chantal's after getting no sleep on the train (I'm so glad I don't get hangovers); thankfully neither of us wanted a late night.  Getting my 20+kg backpack up the ladder to the attic where she sleeps wasn't an option either.  The next day I managed to meet Simon for (literally) five minutes at Queen's Park tube station.  I was going to accompany him to the train but foolishly had left my wallet in my other bag.  I don't know if I'm just getting older, or just more retarded.  I just had to accept the coffee he bought me and leave him to go to Paddington on his own.  Later on, wallet in hand, I found myself at London Zoo, listening to an excellent talk about the rainforest (and getting as much of a tour as my time restraints allowed) by the lovely Ben.  Since my comedian friend is useless as ever, I went straight from there to the Victoria and Albert Museum to meet Chantal and Rebecca for the late night Hallowe'en event.  We stood in several ridiculously-long queues for things that weren't worth it (how English), drank some overpriced but average wine, marvelled at the lovely rooms, listened to a storyteller, watched some short films and were totally confused by the 'grand finale' (gratuitous nudity, a terribly-acted vampire attack, and no discernible point). 

I got from London to Hong Kong via tube, bus, three-hour delay, 11 hour plane ride, and another bus.  I'd called the guesthouse I was booked at to tell them I was still coming.  They told me it was fine.  When I finally got there, I was told that they'd sold my bed, but they were 'kind enough' to let me sleep on a mattress on the floor.  In the hallway outside the bathroom.  I was tired and had already paid for a week, so was going to accept.  I had to wait around for an hour before anything happened, and then found out that he wouldn't refund me if I decided to move out the next day.  So I took my money back and left.  Luckily, Chungking Mansions are full of guesthouses and the kind of annoying hawkers that I hate.  A couple of guesthouses later and I have my own little room with en suite for a few days.  It's really what I needed (and though slightly more expensive, a bargain by world standards). 

I met up with Rhiannon, her boss, and his business associate for dinner.  We had 'traditional' Chinese food (I have never had cheese on anything in a Chinese restaurant before), which was great, and did a little bit of shopping.  Tomorrow I'll get on to looking for a more permanent place to stay, and try and make some work contacts.  No idea how it'll go, but I'm imagining great things.  I think I'll love this city!

I'm really looking forward to spending Hallowe'en here, and am excited (if a little petrified) to be doing something entirely new and scary!

[I have a new phone number.  Contact me for it if you don't have it already!]

Wendel McWong's Pick of the Fringe

It's been another crazy August, culminating in (or spiralling down to) the last nights of the Fringe when I didn't get home before 5.30am. 

 

Some of my highlights have been:

• visiting the Phat Cave most nights (technically mornings);
• Jamie Kilstein giving standing-ovation-worthy performances;
• Harley Breen doing a leotard-clad interpretive dance to 'When Doves Cry' by Prince;
• visiting the 1/4 Gill pub for the first time at 6.15am on Monday morning (and leaving at 9 when normal people start work);
• seeing a bunch of Aussie drag queens doing the Sound of Music;
• spending time in the Spiegel Garden (although not enough), and having our bartender from last year remember me;
• cheering for Italy during Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision;
• seeing The Black Seeds in The Famous Spiegeltent;
• seeing Kirk Fox and (If.comedy Award-winning) Brendon Burns have a 'tache-off;
• watching Mickey D strip naked and later snort beer out of another guy's scrotum (is this a high or a lowlight?).

Needless to say, it's been a couple of days of recovery and trying to deal with the waking up pre-noon (although I have yet to do this on two consecutive days since getting back to the UK).  My liver will thank me (as will my friends, who don't appreciate my gloating about not getting hangovers).

 

Now it's back to 'normality' and trying to motivate myself to plan my next move...

 

I would wait five hundred hours...

I'm writing from an internet cafe in Aberdeen, waiting for our accommodation to become available.  Weirdly (or not), I am the first person here.  Some dramas have occurred to Team Edinburgh and they won't be coming up until later.

Meanwhile, I can finally bring myself to describe my partially hellacious (not really) trip through Her Majesty's immigration service. 

Leaving Auckland was okay.  I didn't get to see a couple of important people, but I had a fabulous family dinner (in honour of my grandmother's 90th birthday) and got to see most of my relatives.  A couple of half-arsed going away things allowed me to see a bunch of friends, too, which is always nice.

My dad and brother took me to the airport, and then began the journey.  A 11.5 hour flight to Seoul (which involved reading half of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and watching some random rom-com/coming of age movie starring Adam Brody and Meg Ryan), a stay at the Hyatt, and another 11 hour flight to London (no reading, but movies galore: Sione's Wedding, Ghost Rider, Children of Men, Shooter, Because I Said So, Disturbia.  I love plane films; I get to see all the movies I kind of wanted to see but didn't want to pay for). 

Upon arrival at Heathrow, I got in the surprising short queue and started talking to a grumpyish-looking man.  He asked me a LOT of questions.  I started to doubt my previously infallible ability to get people to believe anything I say.  He eventually 'detained' my passport, and I had to wait for someone else to come and see me.  I commenced waiting.  After everyone else seemed to have been called, I got a very nice girl who had to check my luggage (I've also since come to the conclusion that people who 'check' luggage never do it very well).  She took out some items that she thought might help my case (wedding invitation, certificates, diary).  Then I had to drag my backpack back upstairs and wait some more.  I was taken in to have a photo, and then an x-ray (?!).  Following that, I got checked in to a holding room, where I couldn't take my phone in, or anything besides the cash that was in my handbag.  After another long wait, I had my interview.  I pretty much had to recount my exact movements since I arrived in the UK in 2001.  Might as well have written my memoirs at the same time.  Luckily the woman interviewing me was cool and she believed my story and understood why I only had a one-way ticket (the reason they held me in the first place).  She just had to convince her boss to believe me too.  Back to the holding room.  Finally, about 5 hours after I arrived in London, I was allowed out.  I've now got a visa in my passport that probably screams 'DODGY', but no matter.  I'm back in.

Jasmin and Bodra kindly let me sleep on their couch for two nights, and after a nice dinner with Anna and Ryan and a 12 hour bus ride with all the derelicts of Scotland, I'm in Aberdeen.  The ceilidh is tomorrow, and then back down to Edinburgh for more festival madness.  I cannae wait!

I'm On My Way (and other Proclaimers songs)

I'm outta here again.  I'll do my best to keep in touch with people, but best intentions sometimes go awry.

Thinking of you all and so excited about impending parties!!!

A few reasons to be happy about today

• It was my sister's birthday today and I got to have Mexican for dinner with her.
• I got to see some wicked short films as part of the 48 Hour filmmaking challenge.
• I'm only at day 3 of my new job and already they can't bear for me to leave.  They also think I'm a database guru cause I've used their software before (and know more than their supposed specialist).
  
• I got the results from my course in the post today.  I got the elusive A that hardly anyone gets!
  
• I booked my flight to London for July!  I will be at the ceilidh in Aberdeen!  I will get to be in Edinburgh for the Festival!

All in all, I'm pretty stoked.  Feel free to siphon off some of my elation.  I'm too tired to use it anyway.

Nearly there!

I finished my last assessment today!

Over four weeks I've had to be in classes 9-5 every day, do four written assignments and plan and deliver 9 classes (with a combined time of 6 hours and 10 minutes). I somehow managed to volunteer myself for an extra 80 minutes of unassessed classes too (what a sucker).

In general, I've done pretty damn well (asides from a small glitch in one assignment where I focussed on the wrong thing and had to resubmit some of it - you can imagine how well I took that!), so I've only got to show up for the next two days and hopefully receive my A after Cambridge okays it. It's been just as much stress and work as they promised/forewarned us, and there has been one person drop out (hence my extra lessons) and more than a few tears shed by several of my peers. As always, with such a concentrated time frame and intense experience, we've all gotten to know each other quite well. I'm happy to say that I genuinely like everyone on the course (instead of that fake kind of like), and have really enjoyed doing it. It's so nice to feel like I'm learning something again, and applying myself academically. It's been interesting trying to translate the input into practice in the classroom. It helps that I've really liked most of my students as well.

I've had very little time for the other important things in my life though (family, friends, sleeping, Heroes, Guitar Hero, crochet, laundry, planning my life, booking flights, getting a job, general communication and Crackbook), so I apologise if this has inadvertently or directly affected you. I am much more available now!

In other moments of genius, I created a fabulous new (to me) cocktail upon my return home today. It consists of frozen raspberries muddled with Morgan's Spiced Rum, topped up with Sprite. I've called it 'See You In HELTA' (my course is called CELTA, see what I did there?). It is delicious, and I bet you're jealous.

I am also glad that I now have a legitimate scapegoat for my pedantry regarding the English language. I'm not perfect, but I am judgmental.

I've decided that I definitely can't take my June 6 flight to Hong Kong. I have no money to travel with, and it will be too hot there. I'm going to work for a few more weeks, go to the McDragovic wedding in Melbourne, and then I'm going over to the UK in late July (I haven't booked my flight, but that is my aim) for another summer in Scotland. Hopefully I will be able to find a full-time teaching job starting in September. Wish me luck! Maybe I'll see you soon, if I'm lucky!

Some random notes ...

• JB HiFi has just opened in Auckland!  How much do I want to go in there and drop a few hundred dollars on some cheap CDs?!
• My first assessed teaching class went really well.  Of course I impressed the tutors, but I'm probably irritating my classmates with my incessant questions and general knowing-it-all.  A few little things to work on, but I'm feeling really positive.  Learning is making me tired (as is staying up really late doing lesson plans), but it's only for a few weeks.  The people in my class are cool, as are the students, so ... yay.
  
• I get to see Mickey on Friday!
• I am being semi-successful at trying to keep away from Crackbook and email.  This means I'm crap at the communication, but it's probably better for my health. 
  
• Auckland's public transport system still pretty much sucks.
• Crappy uni cafeteria food still tastes exactly as bad as it did 7 years ago.
• I still haven't changed my flights.  Somebody nominate some Scotland dates for me?!
  

Gomez

I just got home from seeing the last gig in a 14 month Gomez tour, and it was completely refulgent (look it up, it's a good word).

The support band was a bit strange and not very good, and then the "special guest" (a late-life Elvis wannabe singing Tom Jones and the Monkees karaoke style) was totally random, not great, but still entertaining. The crowd booed him near the end, which I was disappointed about, since I thought a Gomez crowd would be, well, cooler than that. We danced and sang along with him and yelled out "We want Wayne!" cause it was fun. He was billed as "Mr Wayne Anderson", hilarious.

I don't remember being so completely happy this year. Not even the Peter Maccleganger (seriously, younger, but same hair, glasses, face), the girl who was filming the entire gig on her digital camera (how can you enjoy it when you're trying to hold your camera still? And does anyone else think it's just wrong for someone to do this?) and the tone deaf screamer behind me could spoil the bliss bubble that Gomez produced around me. One of the guitarist/vocalists is a bit of a Luke-alike too, and Luke has never made me unhappy, unless you count when we have to be apart. I haven't been as impressed by vocals since I last saw Harry with the Cat Empire, and since there are three of them, maybe I was more impressed! Multiple instruments (including some kind of keyboard kazoo that I'd never seen before) played by most of the band, a two hour set, a plethora of beautiful songs, huge energy and boundless talent. Perfect.

Afterwards, I managed to score a Gomez-branded guitar pick, which I loved. Past tense because I decided to give it to my sister, as she's a huge fan (which I am now too). I hope she appreciates it. I guess I can still love it from afar!

Quick update

I've only got two weeks of work left! I'd cut it down to one but I can really use the extra $800. I finally found a replacement, and hopefully she's not going to be too disappointing (although of course that will just elevate me in their memories when I am gone). She starts tomorrow so that means way less slacking for me but I guess I may actually get some work done.

I had my interview for the CELTA course (Cambridge English Language Teaching something) that starts in two weeks. It went really well, although I missed the misspelling of 'environment' in a test, which I was a little gutted about. He didn't seem to care when I proved that I could, indeed, spell it. So I was offered the last place on the course (thankfully, Miss Procrastination didn't miss the boat completely), and I accepted it. It will take an entire month of my time (seriously, they don't let you work part-time, have any hobbies, play sports etc. They also don't recommend it for anyone that has stress-related illness!) and I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's really difficult to get an A pass, so that's what I'm aiming for. Having not been a student for a LONG time, this is going to be interesting.

Oh yeah, the pre-course task document is thirty pages long. Uncool. And because of aforementioned procrastination and late enrolment, I only have two weeks to do this and not the 6+ that everyone else would have had. Bugger.

Anyway, that's what's happening right now. That, a lot of movies and a lot of crochet (yes, I'm obsessed again). If anyone needs a beanie/toque, scarf, MP3 player cover or whatever, let me know and we'll negotiate a deal. I'm developing new designs at the moment so am happy to practise them (the MP3 player covers are awesome).

Official Notice

Congratulations are in order:

Maury (my beloved Corona) and I have recently produced a healthy baby speeding ticket, weighing in at $80.00 and 14km over the limit.

It is my first, after 10 years of trying, so I guess my time had come. The only annoying thing is that now I have to get off my high horse. I really enjoyed harassing my family about their infringements!