Remembrance on the radio

I'm not quite sure why I've started writing again when all I have to talk about is New Zealand-related stuff, but oh well.  Being patriotic's not necessarily a bad thing.

Anzac Day is coming up, and I'm registered for both the morning commemoration and the sausage sizzle in the afternoon.  It's probably the most expensive sausage sizzle I've ever been to, but oh well.  Both events are in collaboration with the Australians (wasn't really sure how to lump the Consul General's office with the Australian Chamber of Commerce, so I'll just call them 'them'), but hopefully it will still be fun anyway (I kid, I kid.  I get more schtick from New Zealanders for being an Aucklander than I do from Australians for being a Kiwi).  Not quite sure why I volunteered for another early morning, especially on a Saturday, but it's several hours after the dawn service they're doing in Beijing, so at least there's that.

Conveniently close to Anzac Day, Radio New Zealand National correspondent and fellow third generation Chinese New Zealander Jason Moon has done an interview with two of my relatives who served in the New Zealand military back in the late 1930s.  He spoke to my 94-year-old great-grand uncle Danny Lee, and my first cousin twice removed (my grandmother's first cousin), 76-year-old Ken Chan.  If you're interested in hearing about their experiences both as military conscriptees (is that a word?) and being Chinese in the times of the poll tax, or a little bit about Dan's older brother Willie Chan, who died flying Spitfires for the British Air Force, check out the Windows Media stream, or download the MP3.  Apparently my great-great-grandfather was well-schooled in martial arts, and would hand out regular ass-kickings to the local 'rascals' who gave him lip.  Nice one, GGGF.  It's also interesting to note that the war actually made it easier for Chinese refugees to enter New Zealand, as long as they already had relatives in the country.  Thanks, Japan*. 

Somewhat ironically, the cheap ingredients used in the trenches to make delicious Anzac biscuits are actually pretty expensive here.  Maybe I will have to make some kind of Azian biscuit instead. 



*This is only partially tongue-in-cheek.  My late maternal grandmother probably wouldn't have appreciated the sentiment, but it made it easier for her, and my father's family, to legally enter New Zealand.  It's funny how things work out.

Throwback to 2005

For whatever reason, I have just read a few posts from just after I started this blog, including a 'you're not from around here, are you?' story, and one that included some maths questions that I never posted the answers to (I'll put them in the comments, I guess).

Anyway, I came across the following excerpt from a random, sleep-deprivation-induced posting (I can't believe I worked regular 16 hour days. The things you do to get out of New Zealand. Err...I mean...it's a great place!):

"Today was day 1 of a 6 part series of mind-numbingly-boring-no-outlet-for-skiving data entry. Blah. I am so taking my own music in on Monday so I don't have to listen to the Classic Hits No Repeat Work Day. Since when has Coolio's Gangster's Paradise been a classic hit? Although hearing my middle-aged female supervisor singing along was kind of hilarious. There was also a farewell morning tea (I'll jump on the goodbye bandwagon for some free cake), and office antics which involved a Saffa squashing himself into a wheelie bin which then fell over. Eventually he managed to jump out and scare his target so much that she screamed and spilled her coffee all over his farewell card. Comedy."

I think I remember which very temporary assignment this was, but I have absolutely no recollection of the cake, or the wheelie bin incident. Brains are weird.

I would like a title, but only if people continued to say my name right

So I got up ridiculously early this morning to attend this Prime Minister talky breakfast thing. All in all, it was pretty good. My part of the whole affair was to present people with their predominantly correctly-spelled name tags, even though I didn't warrant one myself. Mine was written on a piece of paper in black Sharpie, and put into a name tag sleeve. Extra classy (although I do love black Sharpies).

Before the talky part, I got to chat with a policewoman (is that even a correct term anymore? Female community security person?) who was on the PM's security staff, and she gave me the lowdown on how easy the Thailand situation was for them. It was also kind of nice to chat with a few Kiwis for a change. I kind of hope that there are a few more social (rather than networking) events by KEA (the NZ expat association) in the future.

Mr Key, or "JK"* (as he was introduced, complete with air quotes), came across as personable, knowledgeable, and optimistic. He even played down the incident where he told the Aussies to keep their hands off certain controversially Kiwi exports (but they could have Russell Crowe on a bad day). This is such an old joke that I found reading this article (even though it's written from an Australian point of view) quite embarrassing, so I'm glad he made it seem like it was blown out of proportion.

Generally, he handled the speech and Q&A session really well, so I don't actually have anything more to say about his part, except that he really wants to get everyone in New Zealand fibre-based internet, which can't be a bad thing. He just really wants it. Disappointingly, he neither drove a bus through New Zealand town, nor sang a song** about it.

The most notable part of the morning for me was the mortifying moment where the MC was thanking the delegates who came along with the PM. He announced the Honourable Patsy Wong, whose name is actually Hon. Pansy Wong. He didn't skip a beat, either, so it's possible he's never met the woman, or read her name. He also mispronounced the name of one of the organisers (who's also my friend's dad), but I suppose at least he got the PM's name right. He also did a notable amount of public sucking up ("I'm really proud to be a New Zealander at a time where our country would elect such a great man" [paraphrase!], etc.), so I bet he'd be an amazing personal assistant or PR rep, as long as he managed to memorise the correct pronunciation of his boss's name.


*This should really be reserved for the great John Kirwan, in my opinion, or, at a push, Jay Kay from Jamiroquai.
**YouTube is still blocked in China, so I can't tell quite how awful this video will be. I trust it's still the same song, though. It's a great day for dogs, not just here, but everywhere in the North Island.

Guard Pacific's triple star...

Tomorrow morning I'm getting up ridiculously early to help out at a business breakfast that the 38th Prime Minister of New Zealand, the Honourable John Key (or 'The Key' as certain notable people like to call him), is speaking at.  Why am I doing this?  Well, it was expensive to pay to go, and I get free breakfast this way.  If you are unlucky enough to not be in Shanghai tomorrow, you could always drop him a line on ye olde Facebook.  He's down with the kids these days.

So, on the eve of this auspicious occasion, I would like to present some choice cuts from the New Zealand national anthem, God Defend New Zealand.  It's pretty God-centric, but that should be unsurprising, given the title.  There's also nothing about Peter Jackson or JRR Tolkien.

From dissension, envy, hate,
And corruption guard our State,
Make our country good and great,
God defend New Zealand.

Peace, not war, shall be our boast,
But, should foes assail our coast,
Make us then a mighty host,
God defend our Free Land.

From dishonour and from shame
Guard our country's spotless name
Crown her with immortal fame,
God defend New Zealand.

Ona mano tangata
Kiri whero, kiri ma,
Iwi Maori Pakeha*,
Repeke katoa.

[Let all people,
Red skin, white skin
Mäori, Päkehä
Gather before you.]

Tona pai me toitü
Tika rawa, ponu pü;
Tona noho, tana tü;
Iwi no Ihowa.
Kaua mona whakama;
Kia hau te ingoa;
Kia tü hei tauira;
Aotearoa.

[Let its good features endure,
Let righteousness and honesty prevail
Among the people of God
Let it never be ashamed,
But rather, let its name be known
Thereby becoming the model to emulate,
Aotearoa .]

Thanks to nz.com for the full lyrics, including English, Maori, and translated Maori versions.  I only ever knew a couple of verses of each (I knew there were five, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone sing all of them).  There's also an audio file of the NZSO playing the anthem, which is lovely, but too short.

Also of interest is the fact that the official alternative national anthem is God Save the Queen.  Yes, we are in the Commonwealth, but I didn't know we had an alternative theme tune.  Actually, it's not even really an alternative, because they have the same status.  We have two national anthems.  But only one nation.  Also, GDNZ used to be the national hymn.  I didn't even know that was a thing.

Finally, to help NZ achieve immortal fame, Rhys Darby (you may know him from his stand-up comedy, or from his work with Flight of the Conchords) and his wife have a production company called Awesomeness International.  I'd be upset that he stole my idea, except that he is indeed pretty awesome.

*Pakeha generally means whities.  Although apparently it can now refer to any non-Maori person?  Weird.

A weird kind of symmetry

My little brother's going home today, after spending six or so months in North America and the Caribbean.  I've really enjoyed reading about his impressions of travelling, and somehow he's managed to capture a lot of my thoughts about the whole schtick, and also North America.  Something about this post really resonated with me, and it's nice to know that some of his thoughts are very similar to mine, and that my thoughts are still somewhat hopeful!  That he managed to gather so much from such a comparatively short time is kind of encouraging.

"I guess the one thing I can take away from this entire journey is to always have faith in people. More often than not, they'll come through for you.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has something to offer. And oftentimes, they're willing to help even if you don't ask or even if it means they have to go out of their way.

I've seen a lot of cities but I've come to the realisation that a city is just that - a city. It's the people that make and shape your experiences of it. The people are the beating heart, the breathing lungs and the blood that flows through the veins of a city. They give it charm, soul, character."

More actual stuff from me soon, I promise.

I'm On My Way (and other Proclaimers songs)

I'm outta here again.  I'll do my best to keep in touch with people, but best intentions sometimes go awry.

Thinking of you all and so excited about impending parties!!!

A few reasons to be happy about today

• It was my sister's birthday today and I got to have Mexican for dinner with her.
• I got to see some wicked short films as part of the 48 Hour filmmaking challenge.
• I'm only at day 3 of my new job and already they can't bear for me to leave.  They also think I'm a database guru cause I've used their software before (and know more than their supposed specialist).
  
• I got the results from my course in the post today.  I got the elusive A that hardly anyone gets!
  
• I booked my flight to London for July!  I will be at the ceilidh in Aberdeen!  I will get to be in Edinburgh for the Festival!

All in all, I'm pretty stoked.  Feel free to siphon off some of my elation.  I'm too tired to use it anyway.

Nearly there!

I finished my last assessment today!

Over four weeks I've had to be in classes 9-5 every day, do four written assignments and plan and deliver 9 classes (with a combined time of 6 hours and 10 minutes). I somehow managed to volunteer myself for an extra 80 minutes of unassessed classes too (what a sucker).

In general, I've done pretty damn well (asides from a small glitch in one assignment where I focussed on the wrong thing and had to resubmit some of it - you can imagine how well I took that!), so I've only got to show up for the next two days and hopefully receive my A after Cambridge okays it. It's been just as much stress and work as they promised/forewarned us, and there has been one person drop out (hence my extra lessons) and more than a few tears shed by several of my peers. As always, with such a concentrated time frame and intense experience, we've all gotten to know each other quite well. I'm happy to say that I genuinely like everyone on the course (instead of that fake kind of like), and have really enjoyed doing it. It's so nice to feel like I'm learning something again, and applying myself academically. It's been interesting trying to translate the input into practice in the classroom. It helps that I've really liked most of my students as well.

I've had very little time for the other important things in my life though (family, friends, sleeping, Heroes, Guitar Hero, crochet, laundry, planning my life, booking flights, getting a job, general communication and Crackbook), so I apologise if this has inadvertently or directly affected you. I am much more available now!

In other moments of genius, I created a fabulous new (to me) cocktail upon my return home today. It consists of frozen raspberries muddled with Morgan's Spiced Rum, topped up with Sprite. I've called it 'See You In HELTA' (my course is called CELTA, see what I did there?). It is delicious, and I bet you're jealous.

I am also glad that I now have a legitimate scapegoat for my pedantry regarding the English language. I'm not perfect, but I am judgmental.

I've decided that I definitely can't take my June 6 flight to Hong Kong. I have no money to travel with, and it will be too hot there. I'm going to work for a few more weeks, go to the McDragovic wedding in Melbourne, and then I'm going over to the UK in late July (I haven't booked my flight, but that is my aim) for another summer in Scotland. Hopefully I will be able to find a full-time teaching job starting in September. Wish me luck! Maybe I'll see you soon, if I'm lucky!

Some random notes ...

• JB HiFi has just opened in Auckland!  How much do I want to go in there and drop a few hundred dollars on some cheap CDs?!
• My first assessed teaching class went really well.  Of course I impressed the tutors, but I'm probably irritating my classmates with my incessant questions and general knowing-it-all.  A few little things to work on, but I'm feeling really positive.  Learning is making me tired (as is staying up really late doing lesson plans), but it's only for a few weeks.  The people in my class are cool, as are the students, so ... yay.
  
• I get to see Mickey on Friday!
• I am being semi-successful at trying to keep away from Crackbook and email.  This means I'm crap at the communication, but it's probably better for my health. 
  
• Auckland's public transport system still pretty much sucks.
• Crappy uni cafeteria food still tastes exactly as bad as it did 7 years ago.
• I still haven't changed my flights.  Somebody nominate some Scotland dates for me?!
  

Gomez

I just got home from seeing the last gig in a 14 month Gomez tour, and it was completely refulgent (look it up, it's a good word).

The support band was a bit strange and not very good, and then the "special guest" (a late-life Elvis wannabe singing Tom Jones and the Monkees karaoke style) was totally random, not great, but still entertaining. The crowd booed him near the end, which I was disappointed about, since I thought a Gomez crowd would be, well, cooler than that. We danced and sang along with him and yelled out "We want Wayne!" cause it was fun. He was billed as "Mr Wayne Anderson", hilarious.

I don't remember being so completely happy this year. Not even the Peter Maccleganger (seriously, younger, but same hair, glasses, face), the girl who was filming the entire gig on her digital camera (how can you enjoy it when you're trying to hold your camera still? And does anyone else think it's just wrong for someone to do this?) and the tone deaf screamer behind me could spoil the bliss bubble that Gomez produced around me. One of the guitarist/vocalists is a bit of a Luke-alike too, and Luke has never made me unhappy, unless you count when we have to be apart. I haven't been as impressed by vocals since I last saw Harry with the Cat Empire, and since there are three of them, maybe I was more impressed! Multiple instruments (including some kind of keyboard kazoo that I'd never seen before) played by most of the band, a two hour set, a plethora of beautiful songs, huge energy and boundless talent. Perfect.

Afterwards, I managed to score a Gomez-branded guitar pick, which I loved. Past tense because I decided to give it to my sister, as she's a huge fan (which I am now too). I hope she appreciates it. I guess I can still love it from afar!

Quick update

I've only got two weeks of work left! I'd cut it down to one but I can really use the extra $800. I finally found a replacement, and hopefully she's not going to be too disappointing (although of course that will just elevate me in their memories when I am gone). She starts tomorrow so that means way less slacking for me but I guess I may actually get some work done.

I had my interview for the CELTA course (Cambridge English Language Teaching something) that starts in two weeks. It went really well, although I missed the misspelling of 'environment' in a test, which I was a little gutted about. He didn't seem to care when I proved that I could, indeed, spell it. So I was offered the last place on the course (thankfully, Miss Procrastination didn't miss the boat completely), and I accepted it. It will take an entire month of my time (seriously, they don't let you work part-time, have any hobbies, play sports etc. They also don't recommend it for anyone that has stress-related illness!) and I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's really difficult to get an A pass, so that's what I'm aiming for. Having not been a student for a LONG time, this is going to be interesting.

Oh yeah, the pre-course task document is thirty pages long. Uncool. And because of aforementioned procrastination and late enrolment, I only have two weeks to do this and not the 6+ that everyone else would have had. Bugger.

Anyway, that's what's happening right now. That, a lot of movies and a lot of crochet (yes, I'm obsessed again). If anyone needs a beanie/toque, scarf, MP3 player cover or whatever, let me know and we'll negotiate a deal. I'm developing new designs at the moment so am happy to practise them (the MP3 player covers are awesome).

Official Notice

Congratulations are in order:

Maury (my beloved Corona) and I have recently produced a healthy baby speeding ticket, weighing in at $80.00 and 14km over the limit.

It is my first, after 10 years of trying, so I guess my time had come. The only annoying thing is that now I have to get off my high horse. I really enjoyed harassing my family about their infringements!

Hangovers, hot pools and humiliation

Well after writing the rather verbose last post (just to make Carol feel better, honest), hopefully this one will be a bit shorter ...

 

I left work at 3.45 on Monday to pick Colleen up at the airport.  I was a bit worried that she had gotten her 24 hour time wrong again (those who know her know this happens with alarming frequency for someone who travels as much as she does).  I was also worried that she was repeating the whole drug scandal of Dunedin 2005, but it turned out that due to some unforeseen accident (not to do with the plane), Coll's whole plane was late. 

 

Luckily we still had enough time to drive through the suburbs and make it to Rick's for a couple of deadly mojitos with him and Bjorn.  Lior started in The Famous Spiegeltent at 7pm, and Ben wasn't really that late.  Unfortunately Lior only played for about an hour, but Rick and Coll met him afterwards and probably scared him into playing longer sets in the future.

 

Cue some random wandering and drinking around downtown Auckland, hassling some poor one man covers band, playing some pool and taking lots of photos on Coll's miraculously returned camera (Rick posted a couple, I'm sure more will follow).

 

Enticed by promises of fun times with Rick and Coll the next day, I decided to pull a sickie.  Funnily enough, I woke up at 5am feeling really nauseous and I totally blame Rick and Bjorn.  May also have something to do with not eating or drinking any water.  Anyway ...

 

The next day was chock full of an awesome breakfast, a drive up Mt Eden, a cruise along the waterfront, a visit to the artisan patisserie in Matakana, an astounded look at the beautiful fish at Goat Island (almost teeming, right by the shoreline), a stroll along the desolate beach at Pakiri, a drink at the pub in Kaukapakapa, a swim at the thermal pools at Parakai (swimming pools this time, not streams), fish and chips from our local chippy and complete and utter humiliation at the trivia night at the local.  This was especially bad after I had promised Ben that I was smarter than Paul (which I stand by).  I will give that Paul probably would have done slightly better at this quiz, it seemed like everything was pretty much aimed at middle aged beer drinking men ... not my forte!  We didn't come last, but got something like 48 points when the winners got nearly 100.  And in a round where there was a 50/50 chance of getting it right, we got 2 out of 10!  Ouch.  Anyone who did quizzes with me at The Globe should be rightfully shocked and appalled ...

 

I got to work the next day and realised that nobody had been in my office at all the previous day, and I totally could have pulled off a giant scam and pretended I was there the whole time ... oh well ... damn conscience ...

The Waikato and Bay of Plenty Highlight Tour

I'm not sure why but I had a desperate need to get out of Auckland for the last weekend of the summer (last Wednesday was the Autumn Equinox and we finished Daylight Savings on the Sunday morning).   So despite the dodgy weather (correctly) predicted, Michelle and I decided to head down to Rotorua in search of natural hot springs and general out-of-Auckland entertainment.

 

We somehow managed to get on the road by about 8.30 on Saturday morning (w00t), and our first stop was Cambridge at about 10am .  Intrigued by the sign advertising the "Leamington School Duck Plunge", we pulled in to the tourist information centre to ask for directions.   The Duck Plunge was on the events blackboard, but when asked where the school was, the woman behind the desk replied "which school?".  Firstly, how many schools can such a small town have?   Secondly, why would we want to go to any other school when there was a Duck Plunge on?  During breakfast we pondered several scenarios that could be termed Duck Plunges, but still had no clue what it would involve.   Even better, the poster used inverted commas perfectly when it advertised a "Celebrity" Duck Plunge and entertainment from a top ten finalist in some series of New Zealand Idol (heh).  

 

When we got to the school, we found out that the Duck Plunge wasn't happening until 1.45.   Since there was no way we'd miss it, we decided to wander around and look at the entertainment – karaoke, mini jeeps, whatever you call hitting golf balls into upturned umbrellas, bouncy castle and wobbly train.   We also visited a local garage sale (nothing much there but I got an awesome old school teal leather suitcase for a dollar, and Michelle was very tempted by a $12 electric typewriter) and went shopping at the few clothes shops in town.   

 

When we got back to the school after ogling a really shiny really red Ford, there was a mob of people surrounding the fenced swimming pools.   One large pool, one small pool, some PTA women, an old man with a pool skimmer, a rather hot (looking) rugby player and a LOT of ducks.  Rubber ducks.   Actually, plastic ducks. 

 

For the grand purpose of a raffle drawing, poor (but beautiful) Liam Messam was forced to Plunge into the pools of Ducks (get it now?), drawing one from each pool to make up the winning ticket number.  There were several draws, each with a longwinded prize description, leaving Liam freezing in the pool with nothing but ducks to protect him from the gaze of a hundred primary school kids' mums.

 

We didn't win anything.

 

Fast forward (sigh of relief) to us driving down the road to the hot springs recommended by my sister.  Prior to that we had not been able to find the key to my friend's empty house (it wasn't "in the shed" as he'd said), looked at some very bubbling mud pools, gone to some garage sales and found a little cabin at a campground in Rotorua.  It wasn't until we were half an hour down the wrong State Highway that we realised that my sister had given us perfect directions asides from the correct highway number.  We decided to go to Taupo for dinner instead of driving all the way back, then all the way down another road to flounder around in the darkness.

 

After trying to find the least St Patricksy place in town, the highlight of the lakeside dinner ended up being (drumroll please) - a bearded midget, dressed as a leprechaun, running.  That's right.  Midget.  Beard.  Leprechaun.  Running.  He ran past several times, then got into a car and drove away.  It was awesome.  Michelle also went to the supermarket wearing her dressing gown as a coat.  Also awesome.

 

The next day we managed to make it to the swimming hole, a perfect little spot where a steaming hot stream and a colder river meet.  Such an amazing feeling and so nice to be able to move around and find the perfect temperature.  There was an old woman so ancient that she looked like a female ET in a matching mint green bikini and swim cap, complete with full mud mask.  I was a little startled when I turned around and she was just floating in the water behind me.  I became increasingly fascinated with her though, especially when she started doing t'ai chi in the river, and when she scolded and muttered at an obnoxious English woman who somehow thought it would be okay to use shampoo in the stream and that it would be okay for her husband to swim in white underwear (I won't get started or I will get angry all over again)!

 

The final highlight was totally beating a very frustrated Michelle at the 3D Maze (34 minutes, winner!) and meeting the grumpy old man that runs it.  We were having a chat and he completely berated this kid for cheating, it was great.  I don't think the kid really got the point, but the fact that Grumpy's response to "My granddad told me to crawl under the walls," was "Bollocks!" made it possibly the best $6 I think I spent that weekend.

April 19 - put it in your diary

I think it should be International High Five Day, but nevermind.  But then again, the very nature of the High Five is that it's so America, and it's also so American to neglect to involve the rest of the world, officially.  I think we should tag along on this one anyway!!

 

http://www.nationalhighfiveday.com/

Random thoughts of the day

• Facebook is starting to scare me, for real.
• "Are you on, like, crystal meth or something?  Cause this is really cracky behaviour."  I love Zach from Heroes and think "cracky behaviour" should be used more as a turn of phrase.
• I don't know if I should, but I think Simon Pegg is hott.  And I am really excited about Hot Fuzz!
• I don't get anything productive done when I know I'm unsupervised.
• It hurts my back less when I know there's not going to be anyone looking over my shoulder.
• There are a lot of movies coming up that I want to see (and before anyone comments, these are coming up in NZ, even though they have maybe been out forever in the rest of the civilised world): Ghostrider (haha, seriously?), Black Sheep, 300 (IMAX!), Shooter, Pirates of the Caribbean 3 (as long as it's not longer than the second one!), Shrek 3, Spiderman 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, the Transformers movie!  What's up with all the trilogies and comic book movies?  Do I not want to see anything serious?  Or are there no serious movies coming out this year?
• Wild Hogs.  What the hell?!
• I really should have remembered that my whole department was out of the office yesterday before I called in sick.