Happy new year!

I'm really glad to see that the neighborhood piggy made it through Chinese new year. She was just a piglet this time last year and I thought she was just being fattened up.

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Remembering Clare

I was in the middle of rewatching the season one finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I heard the news about Clare. I had been told via Facebook that her condition had deteriorated and there wasn't long to go, but somehow it was still a shock to hear that she'd passed away. Her battle with cancer had been long, brave, and inspiring, and if cancer could be beaten by will alone, Clare would have been well years ago. Despite doctors telling her early on that there wasn't that much that could be done, Clare did it all anyway. 

I met Clare through Cassie when I was living in Edinburgh. And through Clare I met Olivia, and I grew to believe that the two of them led a charmed little life, in their tiny upstairs flat off the Royal Mile. We got to share some of the best that Edinburgh had to offer, and I will cherish those memories (even going to the parody of the Eurovision Song Contest). Clare always struck me as knowing exactly who she was, what she wanted to do, and who she wanted to spend her time with. She was fiercely individual but would do anything for her friends. 

One thing that Facebook is both good and bad at is showing you your 'friendships'. My contact with Clare had been sporadic over the last few years, and I realised I didn't have a photo of the two of us together. I go through phases where I don't take many photos or write many blog/journal posts, and times like this make me really regret it. I know that there was no lack of love, though.

After talking things through with David for a while after he told me the news, I cried. It's such an odd feeling of loss, to know that someone who was already most of the way around the world from me is not even there any more. I say goodbye to so many of my friends, not knowing when I will see them again, but always thinking that there will be a next time. Sometimes there isn't. 

I haven't been able to watch the rest of that Buffy episode. In the finale, she accepts her own death, and embraces it for the sake of her loved ones and the world in general. Clare was that brave. She won't come back to save the world like Buffy did, but she did change a lot of lives in her short time here. 

I'll miss you so much, Clare, but you will continue to inspire me for a long time to come. I hope that you are sitting in the sun in the big Spiegel Garden in the sky. x

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Review of Fire by Kristin Cashore

Because I haven't really blogged much lately (like, at all), here is my overly-long review of Kristin Cashore's Fire. Clearly, I wasn't impressed. Fire by Kristin Cashore
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I started reading this book on the heels of Graceling, which I quite enjoyed (although it definitely had its drawbacks). I was utterly disappointed, and at several points in the book I wondered if I would actually be able to make it through the whole thing. Last night I managed to power through about half of the novel, mostly so I could put it behind me and start on something enjoyable (I know, I know, I just should have let it go).

I didn't mind the general story arc, even though it does drag on a bit. I liked finding out where Leck had come from and that this other land existed across the mountains from the Seven Kingdoms. I didn't mind the characters - even the unlikeable ones are fairly well-written and believable. Some people have said that Fire's relationship with Brigan happened too quickly, but it happened over months, during pre-wartime, so that's fine with me too. What really got to me was the less-than-obvious feminist 'undertones' (or obvious themes) that weren't really discussed but just taken for granted. This is a medieval setting so I'm not shocked and appalled that girls are having sex at 15 (though since this is YA, I don't know that this is appropriate), but the way that no-strings relationships, abortion, and illegitimate children are just assumed, and not addressed, bugs me. Spoilers about abortion and self-sterilisation follow. Mila, when she is already too-far-pregnant, says that she would definitely have taken the abortion drugs if she knew they existed (and she doesn't take this back or address it once her child is born). Fire, with only a short lead up and barely addressing it, decides to make herself sterile, thus ending her race completely. The introduction and the reveal were so sudden and indirect that I had a "Wait, what?!" moment and had to go back and read it again. It was covered in a few short sentences:
"In the middle of December planning, Fire made a choice. She hoped she chose right."
"‘No,’ she said. ‘Don’t fret, it was a small thing. I’m recovered.’ Which was a lie, for her body was sore still and her heart raw as Hanna’s knees. But it was what she hoped would be the truth, eventually."
"And then, because he was holding her hands, she told him all of it, quite simply: how desperately she wanted children, and why she’d decided she mustn’t have them, and how out of fear of changing her mind, she’d arranged quietly, with Clara and Musa’s help, to take the medicines that would make it forever impossible. And she hadn’t recovered, not nearly, for her heart was small and shivering, and it seemed that she couldn’t stop crying."
And then they just go on to say that she must be around babies in the future because she loves them so much! Nothing about how there will never be another monster human, and she decided, alone and as a teenager, that all future monster humans' natures would be too awful to be permitted to live, even though she seems to be turning out different from her father. Nothing's really mentioned about this again. There's also that I really didn't need to hear about Fire's 'monthly bleedings', especially because the blood attracts other monsters so she has to hide inside! I don't think this was really that necessary to the story, and I can't imagine how much more work it would have been for Cashore to work the travel, action, and sex around times when Fire wasn't bleeding.

The other major thing that bothered me was some of the writing and naming of things. I know this is supposed to be for YA readers (although that's questionable), and the protagonist is a teenager, but when Fire starts thinking about a bookshelf's bookshelfness, I nearly put the book down forever. I also really didn't like the term monster for the mind-addling versions of regular animals. I didn't mind the concept, but the word bugged me from the very beginning. She had such a great word in Graceling, why couldn't she have come up with something better than monster lady. I also didn't like Fire's name, which didn't seem to fit with the world. Nobody else was given a noun as a name, except for Archer, and his was a nickname. Then there's Lord Mydogg. I couldn't read this without thinking, "What's up, my dog?" every single time. It was quite distracting. Another small aside was that I found it weird that she named the months of the year the same names we do. Why would they have July and August, etc?

All in all, this book did not make me want to read the next one in the series, which is a pity. I think that the world she created was generally well fleshed out (although I can't imagine how there were raptor monsters, rats, lions, etc in Fire's world and not in Katsa's). I won't be rushing to read the next Cashore book.

View all my reviews

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Lest we forget

For the first time since I've been here, there was an early morning Anzac Day service in Shanghai. The last couple of years have been on weekends, so lucky lazy expats have been able to sleep in a little. This beautiful Monday morning had Kiwis and Aussies gathering at the Australian Consul General's house from around 5:30 (I know, I was there). The service was lovely, with the stand out speech being from Turkish Consul General Deniz Eke. There was a dramatic moment right at the end of the Last Post, when a boy just in front of me fainted on the lawn. His parents took care of him while the rest of us stood mutely for the minute of silence. He seemed to recover pretty well, though. The only incongruous part for me was a jazzed-up recording of the NZ national anthem with the overly-dramatic singer from last year. Admittedly, we Kiwis need a bit of help from a lead singer, but hopefully next year they'll get a vocalist to go along with the instrumentals for both anthems. The follow-up breakfast care of Wagas, Baker and Spice, and Nick's Meats was exactly what was needed. After a chat with friends and a promise to be at the barbecue at Kakadu tonight, I took an extra coffee and a mini lamington for the road.

I'll finish with the words of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, which make me have to blink back tears every time I hear them. They remind me of Çanakkale, being in Turkey for their celebration of victory (and our defeat), and of how proud I am to be a New Zealander, wherever I am in the world.

"Heroes who shed their blood and lost their lives! You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and Mehmets to us where they lie side by side here in this country of ours. You, the mothers, who sent their sons from far away countries wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well."

Lest we forget.

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Earthquake in Christchurch today #eqnz

Again, Facebook and Twitter are providing me with current news. Here's the situation so far. Earthquake just over an hour ago, 6.3 centred about 10km south of Christchurch. Multiple fatalities so far, including two buses crushed by falling buildings. Cathedral is damaged. If you're trying to contact people in Christchurch, text message is the best way (Aussies can call 1300 555 135 for info). Phone lines are pretty congested right now, 80% of the city has no power. 

Crossing my fingers and thinking about you, Christchurch.

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Another new year, another set of things I won’t manage?

So, it’s that time of year again. Reflection, celebration, promises to self. The blog/s have fallen by the wayside again, and I don’t know exactly what to do with them at this point (combine, change focus, keep going the way I am?). I’m barely keeping up with my paid blogs, and with work, study, and the rest of my life, I’m struggling a bit.

This is not to say that I don’t have ‘free’ time. I have been spending a lot of time reading other blogs, reading books, watching TV, and crocheting. This is time that I should be redirecting towards writing and studying. The hard thing is that most of the former activities I can do while sitting on the sofa with my lovely boyfriend. It’s not that our relationship needs work; I just like to spend most of my non-work, non-sleep hours with him. It’s a bit hard to do that at the same time as something that takes a bit more concentration.

Anyway, here is a list of things that have kept me busy in 2010, and hopefully I will be able to elaborate a bit more on them in 2011.

• Work - the office moved out towards the airport, so now my commute time is about 2 hours every day, rather than half an hour. Other than that, it’s going ok.
• Home - said lovely boyfriend moved here from the UK, and we moved into the apartment of a departing friend (who we miss, but we also love the apartment). Now living in the French Concession in Shanghai, which is a bit quieter than my previous neighbourhood.
• Travel - I went to Hong Kong twice (once for Chinese New Year and once on a visa run), as well as visiting Europe for the first time in a while (Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria, Italy). I miss Hungarian food!
• Friends - as usual, people come and go, but I have a lovely group of friends that make it very easy to live here.
• Study - I had a few months’ break from Chinese study because of the office move, but I have restarted twice weekly one-on-one lessons, which I need to put more follow-up/preparation work into. I can have basic conversations and get things done, and my reading is improving in leaps and bounds, but still. I need to do better.

Things that are taking up my time and therefore I recommend:

• Books - because of recommendations from a friend, I have been reading a lot (a lot) of young adult fiction lately, interspersed with a few more adult books. Currently reading Love in the Time of Cholera, a YA dystopian trilogy by Lois Lowry, and re-reading Catching Fire (from the Hunger Games trilogy).
• Online - blogs currently sucking up a lot of my time are: Nedroid, Hyperbole and a Half, Mark Reads (currently reading the Hunger Games trilogy, hence my going back to Catching Fire), Must Have Cute, Reasoning with Vampires (yes, I hated Twilight, and I don’t know why I am torturing myself with seeing exactly how bad the writing is, sentence by sentence), My Milk Toof, Not Always Right, and some Shanghai blogs (A Totally Impractical Guide to Living in Shanghai, I Love China, From Dumplings to Donuts). I’ve recently started reading MWF Seeking BFF, too, and I think it deserves its own post later. I have also actually been using Twitter, and I do quite enjoy following Luke Ryan, Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, Oatmeal, Lynne Murphy (linguistic goodness), New Scientist, Dr Karl, and Simon Pegg. Other stuff is OK, too.
• TV - last year I watched Outrageous Fortune, Battlestar Galactica, West Wing, Castle, Chuck, Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Hell’s Kitchen, The Amazing Race, Futurama, No Ordinary Family, Lie to Me, and probably a bunch of other stuff. I also embarrassingly got a bit addicted to Vampire Diaries. This year I plan to go a bit Joss and watch season 2 of Dollhouse (not sure how good it will be), and also watch season 2 of Buffy (and possibly the other seasons after that. I just need an Oz fix).
• Craftiness - I started crocheting again when the cold began to set in, and I am enjoying it a lot as usual. I bought a few books, and one of my friends started up a weekly Stitch ‘n’ Bitch sort of group. It’s in a tiny little wool shop, and I’m really enjoying getting together with a few ladies (and gentleman) over some wool, wine, and snacks. Happily, boyfriend is enthusiastic about this skill, and even wears the stuff I have made him. I’ve made a blanket, a cowl, socks, gloves, and a bunch of unfinished little things. I also learned how to make tiny hats using wool and cardboard tubes. Sweet.

Wow, this was linky. I’m looking forward to doing posts about specific things, rather than splashing links and random comments everywhere when people probably won’t click them.

I also respond well to external motivation, so somebody please tell me it’s worth writing. Thanks. 

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Weekend in Qingdao

My weekend: 3 hour delay on flight to Qingdao, 20RMB all you can drink beer at rooftop bar at hostel, breakfast (with bbq eggs/omelette/sausages) included, beer museum/factory, no available cabs anywhere, forgot to charge my camera batteries, afternoon drinking at the beer festival, meat on a stick, Dairy Queen, running into the Shanghai rugby team at a German bar, missing the ABs game because it was too late (Australia network screened it an hour late, and cut off the anthems and haka, jerks), more bbq breakfast, pretty awesome old Governor's residence, not being able to find my friends (two cabs required), thunderstorm, 9 hours at airport, 1st class lounge, 5 hour delay, home by 04:30. Some of these things were super fun, some were really not. 

This was going to be a status update (but turns out it's way too long), so sorry for the rushed narrative.

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Finally, vindication!

Anybody who has ever had to live with me or make an appointment with me early in the morning knows that I am not a morning person.  No matter how much it would improve my standard of life, I just can't go to bed early, even if I have to get up a few hours later.  I have real trouble going to sleep before midnight, and even when I have to get up at 8am (or before), I'm usually falling asleep between 1am and 2am.  When left to my own devices, I stay up until the sun rises, and then feel guilty and go to sleep (usually until sometime in the early, or late, afternoon).

I came across a link to a study today that shows that being an early bird is not necessarily better at all.  The study showed that while attention levels were about the same for early birds and night owls 1.5 hours after waking up, night owls performed quite a lot better than their early rising counterparts 10.5 hours after waking.  This only confirms what I suspected, though.  My boss is an early riser, and he's quite often quite useless when it comes to about 5pm.  I'm still wide awake until not long before I go to bed.  (Though it does say that early birds feel more rested more easily, which also correlates with my experience.)

There was no real difference between the early birds and the night owls in their performance on the morning test. But the evening test was a different story: night owls were less sleepy and had faster reaction times than early birds. (Just to emphasize, 'evening' was a relative term: it was a different actual time for each group, but the exact same 10.5-hours-after-waking for both early birds and night owls.) So even though both groups were sleeping and waking according to their preferred schedule, night owls generally outlasted early birds in how long they could stay awake and mentally alert before becoming mentally fatigued. 

So, early birds on high horses, you can climb on down now. 

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Anniversaries of sorts

For whatever reason, I realised that today is the 5th anniversary of one of the incarnations of one of my blogs.  When I started using Blogger, I was working for a hospital back home in Auckland, and there really wasn't a hell of a lot to do (besides start a new blog and sign up for Facebook - hey, that means I've been on Facebook for five years too).  I was also waitressing part time (I actually really enjoyed that job, and the people), and in the middle of the first winter I'd had at home since I left New Zealand in 2000.  Going back even further, I started blogging in July 2002, using Diaryland, a service which I am surprised to find still has my old blog online.  Oddly, when I started that one, I was also doing a full time admin job (in Edinburgh) and working part time hospitality (in a sketchy sketchy nightclub in Leith).  Looking back on the first couple of posts makes me smile because I was only 21 and all excited about life in Scotland (which I continue to be every time I visit).

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, except that maybe I'm feeling a little nostalgic these days.  I'm coming up to two years in Shanghai, 10 years on the road (with breaks), my 30th birthday, and some significant upcoming changes in my life, so I guess it's not surprising.  Seems a bit crazy to think that I've been a citizen of the world for so long, but I like to think I've fit a reasonable amount of good times into the last 10 years of my life (even a little bit of stability!).  It's been really nice reflecting on the people and the places I've been around at different stages of my life, and kinda wonderful to realise that a lot of them are still very close friends of mine, even though all of our lives have changed pretty significantly since.

Thanks, friends. I love you!

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Picasa facial recognition is freaking me out

I decided to play around with the 'People' feature on Picasa (Google's photo management software), and it's been eerily accurate (besides a couple of mistaken suggestions where it thought that my (male) friend was me, but since I've tagged him, there have been no further confusions).  All you have to do is name a person once and it will happily go through and find a major proportion of the pictures they are in.  The more often you confirm something the program is unsure about, the more accurate it gets.  I even tried tagging a picture of a friend where she is making this crazy expression, and just based on that the program has pulled out over 50 pictures of her, in all sorts of poses, good and bad lighting, weird expressions or not.  The only one it got wrong was actually her sister.

I'm both impressed and a little scared by the technology.  Not that I have a problem with it going through and finding all my friends, but I'd prefer to keep it local (that is, on my computer).  The default setting for the People feature is to synch with your address book, adding email addresses etc.  And you can't even delete an email address once it has been added (I chose to just change them to fake ones after I discovered this).  I love Google, but I don't want to give them detailed information about what all my friends look like.  Scary thing is, there's no way to prevent anyone else from doing this.  I can just imagine that sometime in the future (or even now) they'll be able to scan security footage or Google Earth images and be like 'Yes, we're 99.99998% sure that that's joeblogs@gmail.com. We know exactly how many times a week he goes to the supermarket/hairdresser/bookie/adult shop.'  

Note: I am taking some inspiration from the National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo - and I hope never ever to say that out loud) people who are posting one post a day for a month, except that I now have four blogs, so will try to post one post a day over those four.  This one is gonna end up being the one with the random leftover stuff (not about life in China or about language), so apologies in advance.

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