Redundancy

About me:
I've finished moving in to my new place in the middle of nowhere (not really nowhere, but good luck to me if I want to either get in to the city or get out of it at any but regular people hours), and it's all good so far. I am enjoying being able to cook what I want, when I want; leave my things in the bathroom; walk out the door and not have to wait for an elevator; and see the sky! Also, I'm enjoying being able to waste all my time on the internet (more about this below).
As for work, unfortunately there's a strain (or more) of flu going around that has caused sufficient damage for all the primary schools to be closed until at least after Easter. This means bad luck for me, as I am teaching primary school kids. I'm still waiting for news about some secondary classes (which scare the crap out of me), but as yet, no news.

About my online presence:
Well, as Facebook has pretty much taken over my online presence (scary, but true), I have neglected to maintain other sites. I hardly ever look at my Blogger page, because I send everything to it by email. Tonight I decided to take a look, update the old links and whatever, and apparently my Yahoo!Geocities page, and all my photos on Kodak Gallery have been deleted because of inactivity. I really don't remember getting any email notifications about this, but I didn't really use them anyway, and I doubt many people (but secret stalkers, I know you're out there) will miss these links. Meanwhile, most of the important stuff is on Crackbook.

About wasting time on the internet:
Unlimited internet, no job, being out of the city, and looking at Luke's very entertaining blog, Playing the Cancer Card, all add up to me spending far too much time surfing and losing hours on websites I didn't know existed until last week (oh, and YouTube). I've added some of the blogs to the links in the sidebar, but I'll recommend (or just generally point out the existence of) the following:

Blogs and articles and random websites:

• Playing the Cancer Card
  
• Judge a Book by its Cover - an American librarian brings you hilarious/awful book covers.
• Stuff White People Like - it is what it says.
• I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar - the Facebook group that helps me be even more pedantic and judgemental.
  
• Brian Austin Green's IMDB entry - just look at the photo, he looks like a robot.
• The 7 Most Terrifying Corporate Mascots of All Time
• 30 Things That Should Never be Adapted to Film - I especially like Daniel Day Lewis as Robotnik.
• The Dustin Diamond Foundation - apparently this isn't even a real foundation (despite its clear lack of website design funds), and Screech is a big liar (I don't actually recommend visiting this link, I'm just freaked out that it exists).
  

YouTube-o-rama:

• Anyone Else But You - Michael Cera and Ellen Page cover a Moldy Peaches song at the end of Juno (my favourite movie of the year so far). Completely cute.
• You Can't Stop The Beat - The finale from 2007's Hairspray (my second favourite movie of the year so far).
  
• I'm F*cking Matt Damon - Sarah Silverman's video for Jimmy Kimmel (Matt Damon dancing in overalls is hilarious).
• I'm F*cking Ben Affleck - Jimmy Kimmel's reply totally out-celebs the Matt Damon video.
• Eagle vs Shark trailer - Taika Waititi's 'awkward love story'. Love it.
• Lease - The Musical - I thought I'd posted this, but apparently not. The NZ 48 Hour Film Competition winner for 2007. Time-restricted musical comedy genius (and by friends of mine!).
  
• Two Cars, One Night Part One and Part Two - Taika Waititi's Academy Award-nominated black and white short film. I hadn't seen it till today, and it's so extremely Kiwi that I'm not sure anyone from outside of New Zealand would entirely understand what the kids are saying. I loved it, of course. The actors are too much, girl, too much.
  

I hope there's something there for everyone, dick, I mean, boy.

Some things I noticed on my way around town today

• Sometimes you can't tell the difference between a crip walk and a legitimate leg injury.
• They were playing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' in a wig shop (that I walked past and didn't go into).
• The Backstreet Boys are playing in HK in two weeks.  They are charging 60-100USD a ticket.  I didn't know they still had that much pull.  And are there only four of them now?!
• P.S. I Love You: a new romance starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler.  WTF?!  [Okay, I just read the synopsis on IMDB and I'll probably watch it on DVD one day.  Meanwhile, the poster is stupid.]
  

The State of It

Whilst the most interesting thing to happen to me lately may well be that I have a new profile picture, I feel like I should be writing something here.  Although it follows hot on the heels of my Christmas email, I really have been awful at any sort of actual updates.

Presently I am a week into being back in Hong Kong, am staying in the same single, cell-like room on the 16th floor of one of the blocks in the backpacker slum that is Chungking Mansions.  It sounds luxurious, I know.  There is a 24 hour internet cafe right in the middle of the hostel though, so I can't complain too much.  I have no excuse for not applying for all the jobs on the island, except that too much internet is very distracting. 

However, I have managed to apply for a dozen or so vaguely education-related jobs, and have yet to hear back from most of them.  I blame the upcoming Chinese New Year festivities entirely, although it is possible that recruiters here are just lazy.  Why wouldn't they want to take a risk on me and sponsor me to live and work here?

It's still a fairly antisocial place, but I have managed to meet a few people and brave the cold to do errands and see such things as the spectacular laser light show on the harbour.  How they coordinate all those lights on all those buildings with all that cheesy music, I'll never know. 

The couple of months I spent in southeast Asia were fantastic, and I have my travel buddies, as well as Thailand, Laos and Vietnam, to thank for that.  The trip was refreshing, warming, entertaining and challenging, and I can't wait until I have some money so I can explore more of Asia.  I will aim to, although not promise to, post some summaries, highlights and tips for each of these countries at some point.

Best of luck to everyone who's starting afresh in the southern hemisphere!

2007 in short

This is the ''year in summary'' section of my annual Christmas email:

I started out the year on a beach just north of Auckland, having just returned home from Edinburgh.  The first few weeks at least found me in a bit of an emotional mess, but I was lucky enough to have some of my best friends in the city with me for a few months at least. 

I completed two temporary admin assignments (both employers wanted to keep me), and enrolled last-minute in the Cambridge English Teaching to Adults (CELTA) course for May.  Not having expended any academic energy in the past 7 years, and not knowing what my tolerance for teaching would be, I was vaguely apprehensive.  It was a gruelling full time, four week course for a group of twelve wannabes.  Sadly, we lost one on the way, but everyone else managed a passing grade (despite my ridiculous verbosity in classes).  I discovered that I actually enjoyed the teaching a lot more than I had anticipated, and my brain enjoyed being used for more than working out 24 hour time at the airport. 

Newly qualified, I had a cameo appearance at the last temp job, and attended both weddings of some good friends (Melbourne and then Aberdeen).  Oddly enough, this meant I was in Scotland for my fifth summer.  Who could have predicted another Festival for me?  After recovering from a fairly intense ordeal with UK immigration ("I'm going to a wedding, honest!"), I had another fantastic couple of months in Edinburgh and around. 

The nagging feeling that I should have been doing something about my future employment status merged with a chance business trip a friend was taking, and I found myself meeting her in Hong Kong.  After playing tourist for a while, I found myself in what was honestly the loneliest and most difficult few weeks I can remember.  Chances to meet people were slim, and feeble attempts on my part to find work and sponsorship returned little in the way of positive responses.  Not wanting to dwell on this, I decided to meet up with friends for a trip to Laos instead.  Three and a half weeks later, we're on our way back to Thailand, and the decision to break from Hong Kong is definitely not regretted.  We've had a fantastic trip, and in the meantime I've heard some encouraging (although not recruiting) feedback from some earlier applications. 

All in all, it's been an up and down year, with a vague direction which I'm still in the process of taking.  Next year I think I might get a job.  I guess I'm okay with that.

Something scary this way comes

I know that changing continents is as good a reason to update as any, but my slackness was brought to my attention by an about-to-be-married friend (congratulations, kids), and I apologise again for my uselessness in keeping non-Facebookers (boo, hiss) in the massive loop of my life.

Since the Festival finished, I have been languishing in Edinburgh, meeting new friends, relishing the company of old ones, and running into old faces on the street (funny what coincidences an international rugby game creates).  A quick trip to Inverness to say goodbye to some folks, a lot of parties, a lot of spending, and a farewell couple of days in London brought me almost to where I am now. 

My farewell party started off with bangers and mash, moved through a Sing Star competition, past a broken PSII, onward to the winner (congratulations, Allan of Wales), and through to 3 or 4am with Kath and myself battling it out with Belinda Carlisle, even though nobody else cared any more (we both got knocked out in the third round, which we had trouble dealing with).  6am brought visions of the pub, and Kirsha, Farkins and Bronson accompanied me (or I accompanied them) to the good old Scotsman's Lounge for a few hours.  I finally got out of another pub at 1pm, and managed to make my train two hours later.  Thanks to everyone who helped me get there!

I finally made it to Chantal's after getting no sleep on the train (I'm so glad I don't get hangovers); thankfully neither of us wanted a late night.  Getting my 20+kg backpack up the ladder to the attic where she sleeps wasn't an option either.  The next day I managed to meet Simon for (literally) five minutes at Queen's Park tube station.  I was going to accompany him to the train but foolishly had left my wallet in my other bag.  I don't know if I'm just getting older, or just more retarded.  I just had to accept the coffee he bought me and leave him to go to Paddington on his own.  Later on, wallet in hand, I found myself at London Zoo, listening to an excellent talk about the rainforest (and getting as much of a tour as my time restraints allowed) by the lovely Ben.  Since my comedian friend is useless as ever, I went straight from there to the Victoria and Albert Museum to meet Chantal and Rebecca for the late night Hallowe'en event.  We stood in several ridiculously-long queues for things that weren't worth it (how English), drank some overpriced but average wine, marvelled at the lovely rooms, listened to a storyteller, watched some short films and were totally confused by the 'grand finale' (gratuitous nudity, a terribly-acted vampire attack, and no discernible point). 

I got from London to Hong Kong via tube, bus, three-hour delay, 11 hour plane ride, and another bus.  I'd called the guesthouse I was booked at to tell them I was still coming.  They told me it was fine.  When I finally got there, I was told that they'd sold my bed, but they were 'kind enough' to let me sleep on a mattress on the floor.  In the hallway outside the bathroom.  I was tired and had already paid for a week, so was going to accept.  I had to wait around for an hour before anything happened, and then found out that he wouldn't refund me if I decided to move out the next day.  So I took my money back and left.  Luckily, Chungking Mansions are full of guesthouses and the kind of annoying hawkers that I hate.  A couple of guesthouses later and I have my own little room with en suite for a few days.  It's really what I needed (and though slightly more expensive, a bargain by world standards). 

I met up with Rhiannon, her boss, and his business associate for dinner.  We had 'traditional' Chinese food (I have never had cheese on anything in a Chinese restaurant before), which was great, and did a little bit of shopping.  Tomorrow I'll get on to looking for a more permanent place to stay, and try and make some work contacts.  No idea how it'll go, but I'm imagining great things.  I think I'll love this city!

I'm really looking forward to spending Hallowe'en here, and am excited (if a little petrified) to be doing something entirely new and scary!

[I have a new phone number.  Contact me for it if you don't have it already!]

Wendel McWong's Pick of the Fringe

It's been another crazy August, culminating in (or spiralling down to) the last nights of the Fringe when I didn't get home before 5.30am. 

 

Some of my highlights have been:

• visiting the Phat Cave most nights (technically mornings);
• Jamie Kilstein giving standing-ovation-worthy performances;
• Harley Breen doing a leotard-clad interpretive dance to 'When Doves Cry' by Prince;
• visiting the 1/4 Gill pub for the first time at 6.15am on Monday morning (and leaving at 9 when normal people start work);
• seeing a bunch of Aussie drag queens doing the Sound of Music;
• spending time in the Spiegel Garden (although not enough), and having our bartender from last year remember me;
• cheering for Italy during Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision;
• seeing The Black Seeds in The Famous Spiegeltent;
• seeing Kirk Fox and (If.comedy Award-winning) Brendon Burns have a 'tache-off;
• watching Mickey D strip naked and later snort beer out of another guy's scrotum (is this a high or a lowlight?).

Needless to say, it's been a couple of days of recovery and trying to deal with the waking up pre-noon (although I have yet to do this on two consecutive days since getting back to the UK).  My liver will thank me (as will my friends, who don't appreciate my gloating about not getting hangovers).

 

Now it's back to 'normality' and trying to motivate myself to plan my next move...

 

I would wait five hundred hours...

I'm writing from an internet cafe in Aberdeen, waiting for our accommodation to become available.  Weirdly (or not), I am the first person here.  Some dramas have occurred to Team Edinburgh and they won't be coming up until later.

Meanwhile, I can finally bring myself to describe my partially hellacious (not really) trip through Her Majesty's immigration service. 

Leaving Auckland was okay.  I didn't get to see a couple of important people, but I had a fabulous family dinner (in honour of my grandmother's 90th birthday) and got to see most of my relatives.  A couple of half-arsed going away things allowed me to see a bunch of friends, too, which is always nice.

My dad and brother took me to the airport, and then began the journey.  A 11.5 hour flight to Seoul (which involved reading half of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and watching some random rom-com/coming of age movie starring Adam Brody and Meg Ryan), a stay at the Hyatt, and another 11 hour flight to London (no reading, but movies galore: Sione's Wedding, Ghost Rider, Children of Men, Shooter, Because I Said So, Disturbia.  I love plane films; I get to see all the movies I kind of wanted to see but didn't want to pay for). 

Upon arrival at Heathrow, I got in the surprising short queue and started talking to a grumpyish-looking man.  He asked me a LOT of questions.  I started to doubt my previously infallible ability to get people to believe anything I say.  He eventually 'detained' my passport, and I had to wait for someone else to come and see me.  I commenced waiting.  After everyone else seemed to have been called, I got a very nice girl who had to check my luggage (I've also since come to the conclusion that people who 'check' luggage never do it very well).  She took out some items that she thought might help my case (wedding invitation, certificates, diary).  Then I had to drag my backpack back upstairs and wait some more.  I was taken in to have a photo, and then an x-ray (?!).  Following that, I got checked in to a holding room, where I couldn't take my phone in, or anything besides the cash that was in my handbag.  After another long wait, I had my interview.  I pretty much had to recount my exact movements since I arrived in the UK in 2001.  Might as well have written my memoirs at the same time.  Luckily the woman interviewing me was cool and she believed my story and understood why I only had a one-way ticket (the reason they held me in the first place).  She just had to convince her boss to believe me too.  Back to the holding room.  Finally, about 5 hours after I arrived in London, I was allowed out.  I've now got a visa in my passport that probably screams 'DODGY', but no matter.  I'm back in.

Jasmin and Bodra kindly let me sleep on their couch for two nights, and after a nice dinner with Anna and Ryan and a 12 hour bus ride with all the derelicts of Scotland, I'm in Aberdeen.  The ceilidh is tomorrow, and then back down to Edinburgh for more festival madness.  I cannae wait!

I'm On My Way (and other Proclaimers songs)

I'm outta here again.  I'll do my best to keep in touch with people, but best intentions sometimes go awry.

Thinking of you all and so excited about impending parties!!!

A few reasons to be happy about today

• It was my sister's birthday today and I got to have Mexican for dinner with her.
• I got to see some wicked short films as part of the 48 Hour filmmaking challenge.
• I'm only at day 3 of my new job and already they can't bear for me to leave.  They also think I'm a database guru cause I've used their software before (and know more than their supposed specialist).
  
• I got the results from my course in the post today.  I got the elusive A that hardly anyone gets!
  
• I booked my flight to London for July!  I will be at the ceilidh in Aberdeen!  I will get to be in Edinburgh for the Festival!

All in all, I'm pretty stoked.  Feel free to siphon off some of my elation.  I'm too tired to use it anyway.

Nearly there!

I finished my last assessment today!

Over four weeks I've had to be in classes 9-5 every day, do four written assignments and plan and deliver 9 classes (with a combined time of 6 hours and 10 minutes). I somehow managed to volunteer myself for an extra 80 minutes of unassessed classes too (what a sucker).

In general, I've done pretty damn well (asides from a small glitch in one assignment where I focussed on the wrong thing and had to resubmit some of it - you can imagine how well I took that!), so I've only got to show up for the next two days and hopefully receive my A after Cambridge okays it. It's been just as much stress and work as they promised/forewarned us, and there has been one person drop out (hence my extra lessons) and more than a few tears shed by several of my peers. As always, with such a concentrated time frame and intense experience, we've all gotten to know each other quite well. I'm happy to say that I genuinely like everyone on the course (instead of that fake kind of like), and have really enjoyed doing it. It's so nice to feel like I'm learning something again, and applying myself academically. It's been interesting trying to translate the input into practice in the classroom. It helps that I've really liked most of my students as well.

I've had very little time for the other important things in my life though (family, friends, sleeping, Heroes, Guitar Hero, crochet, laundry, planning my life, booking flights, getting a job, general communication and Crackbook), so I apologise if this has inadvertently or directly affected you. I am much more available now!

In other moments of genius, I created a fabulous new (to me) cocktail upon my return home today. It consists of frozen raspberries muddled with Morgan's Spiced Rum, topped up with Sprite. I've called it 'See You In HELTA' (my course is called CELTA, see what I did there?). It is delicious, and I bet you're jealous.

I am also glad that I now have a legitimate scapegoat for my pedantry regarding the English language. I'm not perfect, but I am judgmental.

I've decided that I definitely can't take my June 6 flight to Hong Kong. I have no money to travel with, and it will be too hot there. I'm going to work for a few more weeks, go to the McDragovic wedding in Melbourne, and then I'm going over to the UK in late July (I haven't booked my flight, but that is my aim) for another summer in Scotland. Hopefully I will be able to find a full-time teaching job starting in September. Wish me luck! Maybe I'll see you soon, if I'm lucky!

Some random notes ...

• JB HiFi has just opened in Auckland!  How much do I want to go in there and drop a few hundred dollars on some cheap CDs?!
• My first assessed teaching class went really well.  Of course I impressed the tutors, but I'm probably irritating my classmates with my incessant questions and general knowing-it-all.  A few little things to work on, but I'm feeling really positive.  Learning is making me tired (as is staying up really late doing lesson plans), but it's only for a few weeks.  The people in my class are cool, as are the students, so ... yay.
  
• I get to see Mickey on Friday!
• I am being semi-successful at trying to keep away from Crackbook and email.  This means I'm crap at the communication, but it's probably better for my health. 
  
• Auckland's public transport system still pretty much sucks.
• Crappy uni cafeteria food still tastes exactly as bad as it did 7 years ago.
• I still haven't changed my flights.  Somebody nominate some Scotland dates for me?!
  

Gomez

I just got home from seeing the last gig in a 14 month Gomez tour, and it was completely refulgent (look it up, it's a good word).

The support band was a bit strange and not very good, and then the "special guest" (a late-life Elvis wannabe singing Tom Jones and the Monkees karaoke style) was totally random, not great, but still entertaining. The crowd booed him near the end, which I was disappointed about, since I thought a Gomez crowd would be, well, cooler than that. We danced and sang along with him and yelled out "We want Wayne!" cause it was fun. He was billed as "Mr Wayne Anderson", hilarious.

I don't remember being so completely happy this year. Not even the Peter Maccleganger (seriously, younger, but same hair, glasses, face), the girl who was filming the entire gig on her digital camera (how can you enjoy it when you're trying to hold your camera still? And does anyone else think it's just wrong for someone to do this?) and the tone deaf screamer behind me could spoil the bliss bubble that Gomez produced around me. One of the guitarist/vocalists is a bit of a Luke-alike too, and Luke has never made me unhappy, unless you count when we have to be apart. I haven't been as impressed by vocals since I last saw Harry with the Cat Empire, and since there are three of them, maybe I was more impressed! Multiple instruments (including some kind of keyboard kazoo that I'd never seen before) by played by most of the band, a two hour set, a plethora of beautiful songs, huge energy and boundless talent. Perfect.

Afterwards I managed to score a Gomez-branded guitar pick, which I loved. Past tense because I decided to give it to my sister, as she's a huge fan (which I am now too). I hope she appreciates it. I guess I can still love it from afar!

Quick update

I've only got two weeks of work left! I'd cut it down to one but I can really use the extra $800. I finally found a replacement, and hopefully she's not going to be too disappointing (although of course that will just elevate me in their memories when I am gone). She starts tomorrow so that means way less slacking for me but I guess I may actually get some work done.

I had my interview for the CELTA course (Cambridge English Language Teaching something) that starts in two weeks. It went really well, although I missed the misspelling of 'environment' in a test, which I was a little gutted about. He didn't seem to care when I proved that I could, indeed, spell it. So I was offered the last place on the course (thankfully, Miss Procrastination didn't miss the boat completely), and I accepted it. It will take an entire month of my time (seriously, they don't let you work part-time, have any hobbies, play sports etc. They also don't recommend it for anyone that has stress-related illness!) and I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's really difficult to get an A pass, so that's what I'm aiming for. Having not been a student for a LONG time, this is going to be interesting.

Oh yeah, the pre-course task document is thirty pages long. Uncool. And because of aforementioned procrastination and late enrolment, I only have two weeks to do this and not the 6+ that everyone else would have had. Bugger.

Anyway, that's what's happening right now. That, a lot of movies and a lot of crochet (yes, I'm obsessed again). If anyone needs a beanie/toque, scarf, MP3 player cover or whatever, let me know and we'll negotiate a deal. I'm developing new designs at the moment so am happy to practise them (the MP3 player covers are awesome).

Official Notice

Congratulations are in order:

Maury (my beloved Corona) and I have recently produced a healthy baby speeding ticket, weighing in at $80.00 and 14km over the limit.

It is my first, after 10 years of trying, so I guess my time had come. The only annoying thing is that now I have to get off my high horse. I really enjoyed harassing my family about their infringements!

Hangovers, hot pools and humiliation

Well after writing the rather verbose last post (just to make Carol feel better, honest), hopefully this one will be a bit shorter ...

 

I left work at 3.45 on Monday to pick Colleen up at the airport.  I was a bit worried that she had gotten her 24 hour time wrong again (those who know her know this happens with alarming frequency for someone who travels as much as she does).  I was also worried that she was repeating the whole drug scandal of Dunedin 2005, but it turned out that due to some unforeseen accident (not to do with the plane), Coll's whole plane was late. 

 

Luckily we still had enough time to drive through the suburbs and make it to Rick's for a couple of deadly mojitos with him and Bjorn.  Lior started in The Famous Spiegeltent at 7pm, and Ben wasn't really that late.  Unfortunately Lior only played for about an hour, but Rick and Coll met him afterwards and probably scared him into playing longer sets in the future.

 

Cue some random wandering and drinking around downtown Auckland, hassling some poor one man covers band, playing some pool and taking lots of photos on Coll's miraculously returned camera (Rick posted a couple, I'm sure more will follow).

 

Enticed by promises of fun times with Rick and Coll the next day, I decided to pull a sickie.  Funnily enough, I woke up at 5am feeling really nauseous and I totally blame Rick and Bjorn.  May also have something to do with not eating or drinking any water.  Anyway ...

 

The next day was chock full of an awesome breakfast, a drive up Mt Eden, a cruise along the waterfront, a visit to the artisan patisserie in Matakana, an astounded look at the beautiful fish at Goat Island (almost teeming, right by the shoreline), a stroll along the desolate beach at Pakiri, a drink at the pub in Kaukapakapa, a swim at the thermal pools at Parakai (swimming pools this time, not streams), fish and chips from our local chippy and complete and utter humiliation at the trivia night at the local.  This was especially bad after I had promised Ben that I was smarter than Paul (which I stand by).  I will give that Paul probably would have done slightly better at this quiz, it seemed like everything was pretty much aimed at middle aged beer drinking men ... not my forte!  We didn't come last, but got something like 48 points when the winners got nearly 100.  And in a round where there was a 50/50 chance of getting it right, we got 2 out of 10!  Ouch.  Anyone who did quizzes with me at The Globe should be rightfully shocked and appalled ...

 

I got to work the next day and realised that nobody had been in my office at all the previous day, and I totally could have pulled off a giant scam and pretended I was there the whole time ... oh well ... damn conscience ...